Has the time come...

[Reality Bytes]

RB has been away for a week or so as I moved house over the weekend back to Wales, but I would like to add a couple of things, apologies if I'm responding to 2 different threads my time for online stuff is extremly limited at the moment until we settle in properly.

I did indeed share with Loca my own experience of having been stalked online and off over a protracted period of time - said stalker increasingly revealed himself to be potentially a dangerous threat to both myself and my family. I DID go to the police and to a solicitor, I had evidence of his emails to me, pm's and postings on various websites, "witnesses" or rather other online users including one who knew me in real life and my own brother who he'd contacted and said stuff to about me and his plans for me ... NONE of that made the slightest bit of difference, admittedly when this was all happening to me there were no anti stalking laws in the UK and certainly very little understanding of "cybercrime" in fact I got told that "I" wasn't being threatened or stalked my "user name" was and thus there was no threat to my person...

The advice I was given and which I passed on to Loca was to walk away, change absolutely everything about your online activity, completely and utterly change your net habits, stop posting anywhere you think your ex might know about, and on any new place you post you cannot be "you", no personal references, no mentioning where you live, no posting about anyone he'd know etc. in short you walk away from just about everything you have ever done online and anyone you have ever been friendly with, and you dont go back. No telling anyone offline what your new screen name is, or where you post, change your email address - have more than one, use different user names on different websites. Those of you on my facebook know that my name there is not RB you also know my name there and my account is not my "real name" although admittedly many people offline do call me by that name, I have several now long established user names on various different websites and I rarely link them to any others. People on the forum I am very active on have no idea about planb nor indeed that I use the name RB none of them have been or will be invited to post here.

It wasn't and isn't fair that as the victim I had to be the one to give everything up - but people have to do it every single day, on and off line if they want to take responsibility for their own safety and security. Forum admins cannot "protect" users from determined stalkers especially when the user refuses to take any steps to protect themselves.

[Econoline]

Thank you for sharing that, RB. It gives us all an idea of the stark and unpleasant choice loCAtek faces, as well as why she may be reluctant to make that choice.

"Walk away from just about everything you have ever done online and anyone you have ever been friendly with, and...dont go back"? I can only imagine how hard that would be, and in a similar situation I, personally, sure don't know what I would do.

[loCAtek]

Unfortunately it's precisely those sort of threads that have alerted people from her past to her online whereabouts now.

No, my Ex told [them] I was here from CSB.

If you were trying to shake off the past would you broadcast your life in an open to anyone forum? You cannot demand your right to privacy if you have never tried to keep yourself private.

But it's everyone else's fault this has happened according to loCA.

Good thing, I didn't say that either. I did try to warn people, but I since I'm in the middle of damage control; could you back off and let a Loca work?

[Lord Jim]

I'm in the middle of damage control; could you back off and let a Loca work?

Or perhaps LoCa could "back off" and conduct her "damage control" somewhere else other than on this forum?

Just a thought...

[Econoline]

It's most likely that LoCa's ex was aware of the CSB since LoCa was posting there while she was still with him....

And after they broke up, for whatever reasons (I can think of both good reasons and bad reasons) he kept tabs on her there, and from checking on the CSB he found out about Plan B....

Jim nailed it.

[Scooter]

And that excuses loCA continuing her vendetta against Gob and Hen, breaching the explicit terms of her probation, how, exactly?

[Lord Jim]

It's most likely that LoCa's ex was aware of the CSB since LoCa was posting there while she was still with him....

And after they broke up, for whatever reasons (I can think of both good reasons and bad reasons) he kept tabs on her there, and from checking on the CSB he found out about Plan B....

Jim nailed it.

Whoa...

Let's put that in context, shall we?

I think Scooter was mistaken in thinking that LoCa must have told PMSP about her participation in these forums, and I put forward what I think is probably the most logical explanation for PMSP knowing LoCa is a participant here...

But that in no way shape or form excuses or explains LoCa's attacks against Hen and Strop...

It doesn't even relate to it...

[Econoline]

I didn't say that (in fact I've said this previously); I was just responding to this (emphasis supplied):

I'd bet that it is no coincidence [PMSP] appeared here -- she certainly didn't stumble in on this place.

I quite agree, but how did she find out about it, I wonder, unless it was loCA herself who mentioned it and gave her reason to be curious about what was being posted here. Again, not the behaviour of someone who believes they are the victim of stalking.

[Lord Jim]

Okay Econo...

It seems to me we can all agree on two things..

1.LoCa's ex knows that she participates on Plan B for reasons other than LoCa went out of her way to tell PMSP that she is here...

2. That fact in no way justifies or even logically relates to her attacks on Hen and Strop...

Okie dokey....

Right then...

I feel a group hug coming on...

[Scooter]

So is there anyone intending to justify their "no" vote by claiming that this isn't at least the third time that loCA has breached the terms of her probation?

Is she ever going to be held accountable for the consequences of her behaviour?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Anybody?

[loCAtek]

I'm in the middle of damage control; could you back off and let a Loca work?

Or perhaps LoCa could "back off" and conduct her "damage control" somewhere else other than on this forum?

Just a thought...

Who says I don't? However, I have to gather info here, 'cause this is where my stalker is.

[loCAtek]

So is there anyone intending to justify their "no" vote by claiming that this isn't at least the third time that loCA has breached the terms of her probation?

Second time;

Her/His insistence that; I'm NOT being stalked, is based only on public info, and not the private info which they chose to ignore.

{Regardless that the public behavior of following someone to pages, they wouldn't normally know about, is also a definition of stalking.]

In some reaches of the Twilight Zone, this is known as harassment. correct?

No Miles, I'm not ashamed ...I really don't care so much.

[Daisy]

What to you suggest we do about it loCA?

Ban PMSP. Ban the IP address, most people have multiple dynamic IP addresses these days wouldn't work.

Lock down the forum so no-one else can see it? Sorry we're not going to do that, it goes against the very nature of Plan B.

Block the whole of San Jose?

What do you think we can do about this?

NOTHING, if you don't want your ex following you online, don't go online.

[loCAtek]

Cool, I didn't suggest any of the above; good thing I didn't.

My request was, 'could you back off and let a Loca work?'

[Scooter]

You could have copied and pasted every post PMSP has made fifty times over by now. And if you haven't already, there would be absolutely nothing stopping you from doing that if you were suspended, because the forum content is there for all to see, even if you can't log in as a member. So sorry, this "pity the poor stalking victim story" isn't going to work as an excuse for not booting your ass for another couple of months.

And to those of you who don't believe you are being played for suckers, I give you Exhibit A.

[Lord Jim]

I have to gather info here, 'cause this is where my stalker is.

LoCa, this line of reasoning is just plain silly....

"I have to gather info on my stalker who doesn't even post here an average of once a day, and who isn't engaging me in any back and forth, and who's total posts since she started posting could be copied and pasted in to a word document in less than an hour. And of course in order to do this, I must also lash out gratuitously and make unsubstantiated attacks against two of the boards owners, and make this drama the center of the board's attention"



There's such a complete disconnect between your claim of what you're doing and what you are actually doing, that it makes this latest rationale is so transparently false that it insults the intelligence of anyone who reads it.

[Jarlaxle]

Thank you for sharing that, RB. It gives us all an idea of the stark and unpleasant choice loCAtek faces, as well as why she may be reluctant to make that choice.

"Walk away from just about everything you have ever done online and anyone you have ever been friendly with, and...dont go back"? I can only imagine how hard that would be, and in a similar situation I, personally, sure don't know what I would do.

I wouldn't. Don't even have to think about ii...I flat would not do that, not even an option.

[The Hen]

My reasons for withdrawing physically from the Board were twofold.

1.  I have just been through the last sitting fortnight for the Seventh Legislative Assembly for the ACT.  (Just a pompous name for my local Government.)

It was a doozy.

I will be starting a thread on my experience, later.

2.  I found myself getting increasingly angry with the lies perpetuated by Lo that she had been in contact with me about her stalker and her domestic violence issue and I was reaching the point of providing the lengthy and extensive email exchange with her to prove she hadn't sent any emails to me on the matter.

I am calmer now, much.

Why?

Because Lo herself has provided the proof for me, in this thread, that she NEVER sent the email to me.  You know the one.  It is the one she has been forwarding around gleefully as her "evidence".

Thank you  Lo.  Thank you VERY much for posting the following:

Gob, the earliest email to you (both) was on;

 May 22, 2004 3:25 PM

Subject: Living the vida Loca!

Sent to:


Xxxxxxxx@ozxxxxx.com.au

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=7097&p=87989&hilit=La+Vida#p87989

You see, you sent it to an email address that had not been our email address for over 16 months prior to you sending me that email.  In fact we were onto our second joint email account at that stage of our relationship.  ozemail.com.au was a dead address.

So you sent that information to no-one Lo.  

Certainly not to Gob or me.  

The only people you have sent that to is countless Board members privately as "your proof".

Well *poof* Lo.  

Your bubble is burst by your own hand. 

You have provided my evidence that I never received this email.  

Your whole argument that we knew of this for a long time is now null and void.  

We did not.

I wonder how many other emails you have sent to a dead account that you have believed we had received?

It would be nice if you would apologise for this, however I won't hold my breath. We both realize how important it is for you to "always be right".

I will no longer be engaging with you unless or until I decide otherwise.

Edited for clarity, dahlings.

[Lord Jim]

[Lord Jim]

Now LoCa, there's a real nice way out of this for everyone if you will just seize the opportunity....

Nobody was lying; everybody was telling the truth, and nobody has to lose face.....

You were telling the truth when you said you were sending those emails to Hen....

Hen was telling the truth, when she says she never got them....

It's a win win! See how beautifully this works out?

Now you no longer have to keep trying to prove that you sent these emails because it's no longer relevant; everyone can accept that you sent them; they just were never received....

What a great juncture this would be to just drop this whole thing wouldn't it?

Nobody has to be a liar; everybody goes home a winner....

And the biggest winner of all would be the board.

I really and sincerely hope you take this opportunity, rather than trying to find some other avenue of attack to use to continue to nurse your grudge and try to punish Hen for ending your off board relationship.

That's what I'm hoping, anyway.