Where's O-n-W?

[Miles]

Oldr, been there done that. I was encouraged when you said that you were concerned about leaving rehab. That indicated ,to me, that you were not riding the rehab high that sometimes makes for a false sense of accomplishment in getting sober. Sobriety is not only achieved through not drinking but also a readjustment in thinking. There are two kinds of people In AA.
One is the dry drunk who does not drink but still has alcoholic behavour. The other is the one who is truely happy in sobriety. As you travel through the program you will meet them both and it will be up to you to decide which you will become. For your sake, as I have always considered you a good person, I hope you find comfort as the latter.

It took work and detication to become an alcoholic and it takes even harder work to become truely sober. Remember one thing, and this will help, you will be an alcoholic until you die it will be up to you if you die drunk or sober.

Hang in there and be patient take it slow and easy and above all remember "one day at a time". Count your blessings for the things you didn't lose but keep in mind what you could have lost.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Any chance of protesting the firing?

I did but it was rejected. They had the acount it was downloaded from and it was my yahoo account. As I said, 6 months of probabation and a one strike you're out policy. I got "caught" even thouhgt I don't recall ever downloading anything from my yahoo account. And they showed me the pictures and I would have remembered them had I opened them up.

And Miles, thanks. I think I am the former description right now. I am working toward becoming the latter but concede it will take time. I have to learn to enjoy sobriety.

A little background. Mom was an alchoholic as were both her brothers and near as I can tell both her parents were also. I remember being at their bungalow as a kid and seeing both of them wathcing baseball on the TV with over a case of Ballentine beer between them which was gone by the end of the game. This was weekend in and weekend out all during the summer.

[Long Run]

Wishing you the best on all fronts, and glad to hear you have taken the positive first steps.

[Sean]

Couldn't agree more! Take care of yourself oldr mate.

[loCAtek]

Yup, it's kind of a nature/nurture thing, if we were taught to turn to that, it can trigger physiological tendencies.

Glad you got help so quickly; do it your way, in your own time; every recovery is different and don't let anyone try to criticize yours.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Been going to AA meetings every day/evening, sometimes twice a day. They seem to "reset" the brain and get rid of the cravings. Got a home group and sponsor. I was supposed to call him around 6:30 last night but the in-laws were over for dinner then I went to an AA meeting at 7pm. I'll see him tonight at our home group meeting.

[Gob]

Respect for that O-n-W, it seems like you are putting in the hard yakka.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Just trying to make it work, one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time.

Still having trouble with the 2nd and 3rd steps where we are turning our lives over to a higher power aka God (as we understand him). Right now I am using AA and the people there as my higher power. Some are truly remarkable in what they have overcome and continue to work at it. Probably would have kiled me.

[loCAtek]

[oldr_n_wsr]

I've been picking up a few guys from the sober house and ferrying them to the AA meetings I've been attending (I guess it's my "commitment"). Find out today one of the guys tested positive for pot. Says he hasn't smoked since Feb 19 but that it stays for up to 30 days in your system. (I have heard that). If so, you would think the rehab center (where I met him back on Feb 21) would have kept him there until he peed clean. The sober house has a zero tolerance but did not test him when he entered.

[oldr_n_wsr]

About another crisis, been taking chantix to stop smoking. Went to renew th perscription and the pharmacy said my insurance has been canceled. I expected this at some point but I had signed up for COBRA as soon as I was let go. COBRA is a NY state policy which allows a former workers to stay on the old companies insurance policy for 18 months after quiting/getting layed off/getting fired, you just have to pay the full premiums. I signed up ASAP but seems the paperwork hasn't caught up yet. So I won't have my chantix for a few days. I take two pills a day, so maybe I'll only take one for a few days.

Still not drinking though.

[loCAtek]

Cool O-n-W, congrats: Illegitimi non carborundum

or: Don't let the bastards get you down!

[Gob]

Sod of a thing about the Champix mate, chin up...

[BoSoxGal]

Just trying to make it work, one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time.

Still having trouble with the 2nd and 3rd steps where we are turning our lives over to a higher power aka God (as we understand him). Right now I am using AA and the people there as my higher power. Some are truly remarkable in what they have overcome and continue to work at it. Probably would have kiled me.

This struck me, oldr - and I think it's a terrific way to think, especially if you have difficulty with the "God" bit.

If there is a God, then our best evidence of that is in the love and compassion we can find in our fellow human beings. Also, in the frailty we find there as well.

I am glad you are sober today. I'm keeping you in my prayers to find the strength to stay sober tomorrow, too.

I am confident you will come to a point where a life of sobriety fills you with contentment.

Hugs,
bsg

[BoSoxGal]

PS, I had the same issue with COBRA re: prescriptions when I was laid off. Takes a bit for the paperwork to catch up. Another option is to cash pay, then the insurance will reimburse you once they process and realize you were covered.

[oldr_n_wsr]

PS, I had the same issue with COBRA re: prescriptions when I was laid off. Takes a bit for the paperwork to catch up. Another option is to cash pay, then the insurance will reimburse you once they process and realize you were covered.

Yeah, thay suggested that. But do you believe the difference from covered to non covered is $150?!?!?!?
It's $30 for the month covered but over $180 for the month not covered. I do have the money to lay out, but that is ridiculous. $150 difference?!?!?!?!!?!?
No wonder people without health insurance go bankrupt. Imagine if this was a prescription needed to keep me alive!?!?!?

[Long Run]

But do you believe the difference from covered to non covered is $150?!?!?!?
It's $30 for the month covered but over $180 for the month not covered. I do have the money to lay out, but that is ridiculous. $150 difference?!?!?!?!!?!?
No wonder people without health insurance go bankrupt. Imagine if this was a prescription needed to keep me alive!?!?!?

It is the most backassward thing. If you pay in cash today, you have to put out $180. If you run it through the insurance, you pay $30 today and the pharmacy waits 60 days to get another $100 or so from the insurance company. Every other type of business would give you a cash discount for paying today so they don't have to wait for payment. Example 553 of how the various (dis)incentives warp the healthcare market.

Hope you are doing alright.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Hope you are doing alright.

So far so good.
Been gonig to AA meetings and I have gone from describing (whining about) my situation to asking questions and trying to get clarity about the steps and how AA can help me and such. Like at wednesday's meeting (which is a very small meeting only 9 people at most show up) I presented my step 2 and 3 dilemmas and there was a lay there who gave me some clarity, a whole lot of things to think about and explained how she understood steps 2 and 3. Very informative. While I am still "up in air" on these steps, I have more info to sort them out for myself.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Talked to my sister today, she called to see how I was doing. I told her about my tep 2,3 dilemma and found out she's been going to a Baptist church off and on for a few years. Says she learned/understood more from her limited exposure to the Baptist faith than she did in the 8 years we went to Catholic gramar school. I am thinking of tagging along to a buddy of mine who is Lutheran. Turns out my grandfather was Lutheran and got baptised only so he could marry my Catholic Grandmother.

I always wondered why he didn't go to midnight mass with the rest of us on Christmas.

[loCAtek]

ThX O-n-W, your bravery and determination are inspiring!