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[BoSoxGal]

Nice! Multi-colored vomit, even. Too bad it's not animated.

[Joe Guy]

[@meric@nwom@n]

I came back this evening briefly to find that AndrewD who I placed on ignore had sent me an insulting and harassing PM. I told him to fuck off so he sent me 2 more insulting and harassing PM's. Clearly he is obsessed with me but isn't there something that can be done to prevent people, or assholes as the case may be, from contacting you?

Back to taking a bit of time off from here. Hopefully this crush he has developed will be over and we will be able to prevent idiots of his ilk from sending crap via PM when their enormous ego cannot deal with being ignored.

[Gob]

You can switch PM's off, but that will mean you get no PM's at all.(Apart from from admins)

[Reality Bytes]

You can set up "rules" for your pm's which can deal with unwanted or unwelcome messages - you can chose that the pm is automatically deleted without you ever seeing it or it can be diverted into a folder set up for that purpose which keeps it out of the inbox.

[Andrew D]

Clearly he is obsessed with me ....

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

... this crush he has developed ....

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

... when their enormous ego ....

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

[loCAtek]

So, stop PMing her AndrewD.




D'uh.

[Lord Jim]

Well, I don't know about the rest of it....

But the "enormous ego" bit...

That certainly has a ring of authenticity to it....

[Guinevere]

Takes one to know one, LJ.

[Crackpot]

She says adding herself to the choir.

[Gob]

Using the PM system to insult or harass is cowardly.

Please, if you get an insulting or harassing PM, post it on the board so that the membership here is fully aware of it. (Or send it to the admins so they can do so.)

That takes the onus off the receiver, and puts it back onto the sender, to justify.

We have a built in ignore system here, (friends and foes) use it if you do not want to read what someone else has posted.

If you do not use it and choose to get irate at another poster, that's your choice, live with it.

If you do not have the balls to say something to a member here openly, then don't say it, or try to grow a set?

[Andrew D]

So, stop PMing her AndrewD.

D'uh.

I have. And had she not responded to my first PM to her, I would have stopped PMing earlier than I did. (In fact, I did not know until she responded to it that my first PM to her had even gone through (and I told her so); the way my computer reacted, I thought that by doing the ignore/foe thing (whatever exactly that may be), she had blocked PMs from me. Evidently not.)

I have no interest in PMing her. (Unless something unrelated to this should arise: If she were to post, for example, that she had been diagnosed with some potentially fatal disease, I probably would PM to her my sympathy and, perhaps, should the circumstances warrant it, some little bit of advice.)

I really have very little interest in her at all.

During one of my times of trouble, she was gracious to me -- more gracious than I would have expected. I thanked her then, and I repeat that thanks now.

But as far as substantive things are concerned, she rarely posts enything that engages my interest. And it may well be that I rarely post anything that engages hers.

Still, one of us has chosen to take a petty dispute and make it a matter of public discourse. I am not that someone.

[Andrew D]

Using the PM system to insult or harass is cowardly.

Please, if you get an insulting or harassing PM, post it on the board so that the membership here is fully aware of it. (Or send it to the admins so they can do so.)

That takes the onus off the receiver, and puts it back onto the sender, to justify.

We have a built in ignore system here, (friends and foes) use it if you do not want to read what someone else has posted.

If you do not use it and choose to get irate at another poster, that's your choice, live with it.

If you do not have the balls to say something to a member here openly, then don't say it, or try to grow a set?

So you are saying that private messages are not -- or should not be -- genuniely private?

I was tempted to post the entire exchange between her and me to give all others here the opportunity to decide for themselves whether my messages to her (in the context of our messages to each other and the public postings which gave rise to those messages) were "harassing" or not. I chose not to post them -- even though, in my opinion, I would have been justified in doing so; by characterizing the content of my messages to her, she put that content in issue, so she would have had no ground for complaint had I put all of them, mine and hers, before all of us to consider -- because I concluded that doing so would have been a violation of the privacy that is necessarily entailed in the "PM".

I think that I made the right choice. Others may have different opinions.

[Gob]

So you are saying that private messages are not -- or should not be -- genuniely private?

I'm saying that PM's should not be used to insult, harass or intimdate members here, as that would be a blatant abuse of the facility.

Also, if claims (or counter claims) of such behaviour were to occur then the best way to deal with them would be to bring it out into the open for the membership to discern/debate themselves.

[Andrew D]

So you are saying that private messages are not -- or should not be -- genuniely private?

I'm saying that PM's should not be used to insult, harass or intimdate members here, as that would be a blatant abuse of the facility.

Also, if claims (or counter claims) of such behaviour were to occur then the best way to deal with them would be to bring it out into the open for the membership to discern/debate themselves.

I don't see why "insult" is in there. If what I said to her is insulting, then people here insult each other all the time.

And as to this:

If you do not have the balls to say something to a member here openly, then don't say it, or try to grow a set?

I need merely point out that by making my postings invisible to her, she has chosen to make it impossible for me to say anything to her openly.

Anyway, as to harassing and intimidating people, I have no objection to the entire exchange's being posted here. Anyone sufficiently interested to read them (assuming that such a person exists) will see that I used no obscenities, made no threats, called her no bad names, etc.

(Unless you count my expressing my opinion of anyone's using the ignore/foe function (however exactly that works; I don't know, and I don't care) calling someone a bad name, in which case using such terms as "childish" -- let alone "cunt," which appears to be one of her favorites -- should also be verboten.) Indeed, her own public description of a message she sent me -- "I told him to fuck off" -- is far more profane/obscene than anything in any of the messages I sent her.

But as far as I know, she has not given permission to the publication of the exchange. Therefore -- even though she has put the content of the PMs in issue by characterizing them in ways which I believe untruthful -- I will not post them now. Should she change her mind ....

[Gob]

Insult is in there as it is a particularly stupid and unecessary thing to do, to send someone a PM with the sole intention of insulting them. If the PM contains other information apart from insults, then it should be up to the judgement of the reciver how to handle the matter. But sending insulting PM's is a daft and unecessary thing to do.

[Guinevere]

I appreciate that Andrew and @W have taken their dispute off the board, and prefer it stay there. I agree with Andrew that PMs are personal and confidential, and shouldn't be shared with the members. If there is an issue or concern, talk to one of the Admins and resolve it that way. Tossing this stuff out into public view just ends up making it worse, and we'll end up with it infecting every thread, just like it did at the other place.

[loCAtek]

The facts are:

The poster known as '@merican Wom@n' has clearly and emphatically stated publicly and privately that she does not want communications from the poster known as 'AndrewD'; be they public or private.

Content of such communications is not relevant to @merican Wom@n's statements, as AndrewD is not acting in a professional capacity, but is attempting personal engagement with @merican Wom@n, that she has a right to refuse.

Repeated violation of that right, (insisting she engage him) could be construed as 'harassment'.


We could do a poll, but IMHO AndrewD should cease contacting @merican Wom@n., in any form of communication.

[Andrew D]

We could do a poll, but IMHO AndrewD should cease contacting @merican Wom@n., in any form of communication.

What part of this:

So, stop PMing her AndrewD.

D'uh.

I have.

sailed past you?

[@meric@nwom@n]

Oh for the love of God. Loca I am sure you are well intentioned but could you just back off?

This does not have to be a big thing and I suggest it be given a proper burial.

Andrew pissed me off and I in turn pissed him off. It is nothing new. I am sure he will now leave me alone in PMs and I in turn will continue to ignore him at every opportunity.

The END.