Educating Santa

[Gob]

AT THE United States' oldest, most celebrated school for Santa Clauses, much has stayed exactly the same over nearly 75 years. A proper Claus ought to have pleasant breath, his beard curled just so and a hearty laugh from deep below the diaphragm.



Yet this year, from the holiday parades, to the cheery carols piping from loudspeakers, to the ''this way to Santa'' lines at shopping centres, something more sobering has cast its shadow: the economic slump.


The result is a Christmas season in which Santas - including the 115 of them in this year's graduating class of the Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School - must learn to gently scale back children's gift requests, and even answer the wish some say they have been hearing with more frequency - ''Can you bring my parent a job?''

Santas here tell of children who appear on their laps with lists that include the latest, most expensive toys and their parents, standing off to the side, stealthily but imploringly shaking their heads no. Others, like Fred Honerkamp, have been visited by children whose expectations seem to have sunk to match the gloom; not long ago, a boy asked him for only one item - a pair of sneakers that actually fit.

''In the end, Santas have to be sure to never promise anything,'' said Mr Honerkamp, an alumnus of the school who also lectures here. ''It's hard to watch sometimes because the children are like little barometers, mirrors on what the country has been through.''

The Santa school itself may offer some measure of the nation's woes. Last month, it drew the largest class in its history. And while most of the men were long-time, passionate Santas looking to hone their skills, at least a handful, including an aerospace engineer and an accountant, said they were testing out Santa school in part because of a dearth of work.

A marketing consultant and gym instructor urged the Santas, a few of whom dozed in their chairs, to create their own websites and extolled the benefits of Facebook and Twitter. ''Drive 'em, drive 'em, drive 'em to that website!'' Sabrina Ann Zielinski, the consultant, told the class.

At least one Santa, Gary Christie, had devised a specific routine for talking children out of their demand for an iPod or the like.

''I try to guide the children into not so unrealistic things, and I do tell them that Santa's been cutting back too,'' said Tom Ruperd, of Caro, Michigan.

''If they asked for something that's totally impossible - a job for daddy, say - I usually tell them, 'Santa specialises in toys, but we can always pray on the other,' '' Mr Ruperd said. '' 'Is there anything in toys that you'd like?' ''

NEW YORK TIMES

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/world/santas-say- ... z1f35kuQdh

[Andrew D]

... a hearty laugh from deep below the diaphragm.

Below the diaphragm? Where is that supposed to come from?

It sounds more like a fart than a laugh.

[Sean]

This is the side of Christmas which has always put me off the whole thing.

It's all well and good to enjoy the season and all that it brings when you can afford to but it also means that those who cannot afford to buy gifts for their children nor put a good meal on the table are constantly getting it shoved down their throats. It's a no-win situation. I'm not suggesting for a moment that people should change or cancel their enjoyment of the season, I'm just an empathic person and it does get to me...

[Lord Jim]

his beard curled just so

The best Santa Claus of all time had no curls in his beard at all...



I suspect if Kris had stopped by that "Claus Class" he would have whacked that smarmy looking instructor with his cane...

[loCAtek]

This is the side of Christmas which has always put me off the whole thing.

It's all well and good to enjoy the season and all that it brings when you can afford to but it also means that those who cannot afford to buy gifts for their children nor put a good meal on the table are constantly getting it shoved down their throats. It's a no-win situation. I'm not suggesting for a moment that people should change or cancel their enjoyment of the season, I'm just an empathic person and it does get to me...

That's why Santa prays too, it's not about the materialism.

'Santa specialises in toys, but we can always pray on the other,' ''

It's why I donate to Toys 4 Tots Too;