I think that's precisely why an appreciation of history and context is necessary. The reclamation of "queer", for example, is far from being universally accepted among LGBT people. I am careful about when and how I use it because I know that many people who have a brutal history with the word will never accept it, while others feel that it "includes" them in a way that is not achieved by any other term. There are some (usually) younger LGBT people who insist on using it even when they know that it gives offence to some (usually) older folks whose opinion they don't believe should matter anymore. With words that are that divisive within a community, while I would not say that "outsiders" should never use them, it would be exceedingly difficult for them to avoid giving offence without first gaining that appreciation for how history and context should nuance their use. Something that would be difficult to achieve without extensive experience within that community to see how the words are and are not being used.
Of course, if someone doesn't give a shit about what those who might be listening to them think, then they can do as they please. They just shouldn't be surprised if they need an emergency trip to the dentist afterwards.
It does stand for questioning. If queer were to be used in that context, it would replace all of the letters, as an umbrella term referring all alternative sexualities. Another one of those things that someone presuming to use the word should have known.
