Plan B Forum

Well the Grauniad says:

The epitome of Middle England, you prefer your Hovis to ciabatta and believe that England can win the cup this time round. You still feel frequent stirrings of patriotism, but deep down you know the world has moved on from the Empire and warm beer on village greens.

http://www.theguardian.com/quiz/questio ... _1586=5911

Whereas the Telegraph (regarded as a much more sensible newspaper) says:

"You're as English as they come. Now calm down and don't make a fuss about it".

This test was rubbish though - which is why I did so well. And that's enough from the Telecraph.


This one's better!
http://www.gotoquiz.com/how_english_are_you

You are 86% English. Congratulations! You may now take your place as a subject of Her Majesty. "And did those feet In ancient times, Walk upon England's mountains green? And was the holy Lamb of God In England's pleasant pastures seen?" Well, no, but it's a cracking good tune

86% also on the last.

Jam or cream first... Civil wars have broken out over less in England!

Cream *then* jam . . .

78% for me.

Oh not at all, tsk tsk. Such bad manners! First the jam - then lick the knife clean - then plunge it into the communal cream pot

62%

Cream with jam?

And who spoils nice tea with milk and sugar? You have to drink that horrible tannic shit to do that. That awful crap the Chinese fobbed off on the Eng ... oh.

And people roast vegetables these days.

yrs,
rubato

If there's one thing I hate more than peeing after asaparagus, it's what happens the day after roast beetroot. I always forget and next morning I've got the doctor on speed dial before I remember

MajGenl.Meade wrote:If there's one thing I hate more than peeing after asaparagus, it's what happens the day after roast beetroot. I always forget and next morning I've got the doctor on speed dial before I remember

Beets are nasty, satan's vegetable. No beet will ever be allowed in our house!

yrs,
rubato

You are missing such a colourful experience.

Beet colored urine can indicate either an iron deficiency or iron excess.

-Joe Guy PhD

On the first one I got:

England's so-called national customs have little emotional hold on you. You're aware of your roots but you're happy to take on board the best of other cultures.

Not too far wrong actually...

And the second:

You are 88% English.

Congratulations! You may now take your place as a subject of Her Majesty. "And did those feet In ancient times, Walk upon England's mountains green? And was the holy Lamb of God In England's pleasant pastures seen?" Well, no, but it's a cracking good tune.

I scored 2 points higher than Meade....

"Cream" meaning clotted cream. On scones. Always before jam. Ugh MGM, you colonial you.

Clotted cream has been described as having a "nutty, cooked milk" flavour,[4] and a "rich sweet flavour" with a texture that is grainy, sometimes with oily globules on the crusted surface.[5][6] It is a thick cream, with a very high fat content (a minimum of 55%, but an average of 64%); in the United States it would be classified as butter.[7]

Well that settles it then...

Nobody outside the loony bin would first spread on jam and then spread on butter...

Guinevere wrote:"Cream" meaning clotted cream. On scones. Always before jam. Ugh MGM, you colonial you.

Oh so true Living in Bloem I'd almost forgotten clotted cream... of course clotted cream before jam, otherwise it's impossible to spread. The denser material must form the base - like peanut butter under marmite, or lemon curd under fish paste.

And Joe, beetroot does not evidence itself in urine but in.... well, never mind

And LJ, you probably know a lot more about clots than I

Bloody heathens. Jam on the bottom clotted cream on the top.

MajGenl.Meade wrote: Oh so true Living in Bloem I'd almost forgotten clotted cream... of course clotted cream before jam, otherwise it's impossible to spread.

I believe the word you're looking for is 'dollop' Meade, not 'spread'.

clotted cream?!??
Isn't that what happens in the carton of expired cream?


butter, then jelly.
It's a law.

No it's like a really thick heavy cream with a sort of buttery crust on the top.

You dollop it on top of good quality jam spread on a plain scone and wash it down with a good strong cup if Assam with just a dash of milk in it.