Plan B Forum

Jeremy Clarkson has walked into another row after he claimed people in Liverpool 'earn less, die more quickly and have fewer jobs' than people in the South of England.

The Top Gear host wrote that houses in the city were 'worth the square root of sod all' after visiting for one of his programme's live shows. The mayor of Liverpool has now hit back, branding the highly-paid BBC presenter an 'oaf and a buffoon'.

As he travels the country as part of the Top Gear Live tour, Clarkson wrote a piece claiming 'the north of England has never been more different from the south'. He mocked a restaurant and hotel in Liverpool because staff didn't know what a kipper or Tabasco sauce were and poked fun at people like himself for expecting the North to be like the South. The 54-year-old said that on previous visits to the city, he heard constant burglar alarms during the night, witnessed a knifeman 'run amok' in a restaurant and found a 'dead' girl in his hotel corridor.

He then wrote: 'People up there earn less, die more quickly, have fewer jobs and live in houses that are worth the square root of sod all.' He added: 'For those who live in the south the north has become "abroad".' His views have angered some locals, with Mayor Joe Anderson today vowing to complain to the BBC about the comments, which were published in Clarkson's Sunday Times column.

Primary Teacher states to her class that she is a Liverpool fan. She asks her kids to raise their hands if they are Liverpool fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher asks, 'Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?' 'Because I'm not a Liverpool fan miss,'

The teacher asked, 'Well, if you are not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?' 'I am a Man Utd fan, and proud of it,' said Mary .

The teacher confused, pushes on, , 'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Man Utd fan?' 'Because my mum is a Man Utd fan, and dad is a Man Utd fan, so I'm a Man Utd fan too!'

'Well,' said the teacher in an annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Man Utd fan. You don't have to be like your parents... What if mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?'

'Then,' Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Liverpool fan.