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An American tourist writes...

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 8:44 pm
by Gob
An American tourist, who wrote a list of things he had noticed during a recent visit to the UK, was surprised to see his Facebook status go viral.

Scott Waters, 66, from Florida wrote a long list of things he had experienced on his recent trip, some being light hearted and others holding much more serious connotations.

Mr Waters marked that "There are no guns" three times on the list before finally adding "There are still no guns" in his final entry.

His post, which has been all over social media in the last day or so, also includes a few Cornwall related notes, including his take on the age-old 'county or country' debate.
* Almost everyone is very polite
* The food is generally outstanding
* There are no guns
* There are too many narrow stairs
* Everything is just a little bit different
* The pubs close too early
* The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards
* Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms.
* You'd better like peas, potatoes and sausage
* Refrigerators and washing machines are very small
* Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter
* People don't seem to be afraid of their neighbors or the government
* Their paper money makes sense, the coins don't
* Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare
* Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?
* Pants are called "trousers", underwear are "pants" and sweaters are "jumpers"
* The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling
* "Fanny" is a naughty word, as is "shag"
* All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar.
* There's no dress code
* Doors close by themselves, but they don't always open
* They eat with their forks upside down
* The English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars
* They don't seem to use facecloths or napkins or maybe they’re just less messy than we are
* The wall outlets all have switches, some don't do anything
* There are hardly any cops or police cars
* 5,000 year ago, someone arranged a lot of rocks all over, but no one is sure why
* When you do see police they seem to be in male & female pairs and often smiling
* Black people are just people: they didn't quite do slavery here
* Everything comes with chips, which are French Fries. You put vinegar on them
* Cookies are "biscuits" and potato chips are "crisps"
* HP sauce is better then catsup
* Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot.
* After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food
* The water controls in showers need detailed instructions
* They will boil anything
* Folks don't always lock their bikes
* It's not unusual to see people dressed different and speaking different languages
* Your electronic devices will work fine with just a plug adapter
* Nearly everyone is better educated then we are
* If someone buys you a drink you must do the same
* There are no guns
* Look right, walk left. Again; look right, walk left. You're welcome.
* Avoid British wine and French beer
* It's not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice. If you don't, everyone knows you're an American
* Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks
* There's no AC
* Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper
* Gas is "petrol", it costs about $6 a gallon and is sold by the liter
* If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Period. Always
* You don't have to tip, really!
* Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries
* Only 14% of Americans have a passport, almost everyone in the UK does
* You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in
* Walking is the national pastime
* Their TV looks and sounds much better then ours
* They took the street signs down during WWII, but haven't put them all back up yet
* Everyone enjoys a good joke
* There are no guns
* Dogs are very well behaved and welcome everywhere
* There are no window screens
* You can get on a bus and end up in Paris
* Everyone knows more about our history then we do
* Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good
* The newspapers can be awful
* Everything costs the same but our money is worth less so you have to add 50% to the price to figure what you're paying
* Beer comes in large, completely filled, actual pint glasses and the closer the brewery the better the beer
* Butter and eggs aren't refrigerated
* The beer isn't warm, each style is served at the proper temperature
* Cider (alcoholic) is quite good.
* Excess cider consumption can be very painful.
* The universal greeting is "Cheers" (pronounced "cheeahz" unless you are from Cornwall, in which case it's "chairz")
* The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, £1-£2 coins and £5-£10, etc bills. There are no quarters.
* Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money
* Cars don't have bumper stickers
* Many doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America
* By law, there are no crappy, old cars
* When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn't lose the "1"
* Cake is is pudding, ice cream is pudding, anything served for desert is pudding, even pudding
* BBC 4 is NPR
* Everything closes by 1800 (6pm)
* Very few people smoke, those who do often roll their own
* You're defined by your accent
* No one in Cornwall knows what the hell a Cornish Game Hen is
* Football is a religion, religion is a sport
* Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse
* The trains work: a three minute delay is regrettable
* Drinks don't come with ice
* There are far fewer fat English people
* There are a lot of healthy old folks around participating in life instead of hiding at home watching tv
* If you're over 60, you get free tv and bus and rail passes.
* They don't use Bose anything anywhere
* Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste
* Every pub seems to have a pet drunk (My old role!)
* Their healthcare works, but they still bitch about it
* Cake is one of the major food groups
* Their coffee is mediocre but the tea is wonderful
* There are still no guns
* Towel warmers!
* Cheers

Read more: http://www.cornishman.co.uk/Cornwall-di ... z3nutSvse2
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My favourites in bold.

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 8:53 pm
by Big RR
* If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Period. Always
Is this something new? I routinely sped on the motorways when I was in England, Scotland, and Wales and was never stopped once. Perhaps they meant in Ireland?

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 9:12 pm
by MajGenl.Meade
Maybe it's all the cameras, Big RR?

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 9:12 pm
by MajGenl.Meade
Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter

And I never even met the man!

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 9:14 pm
by Big RR
I do recall the cameras, but I also recall the traffic slowing before (and speeding up after) each one. But it could be because I had a rental car and a US license they didn't bother trying to enforce any infractions on the cameras.

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 10:06 pm
by Sue U
Sounds very civilized/civilised and like a nice place to live. After the last couple of weeks, I'm frankly starting to think about other options.

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 10:07 pm
by MajGenl.Meade
It's expensive though - real expensive. And I'm not sure how health care would work for you either. Expensive too, I'd bet.

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 12:43 am
by rubato
Art museums are fantastic, and free. (Although there was a very gracefully formed young black woman whose job appeared to be to stand next to the Donation dome and draw attention to it.)


Breakfasts were pretty wonderful.


yrs,
rubato

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 12:49 am
by Long Run
Breakfasts were pretty wonderful.
Must have upped their game since I was there 15 years ago when the first meal was pretty utilitarian.

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 1:12 am
by Guinevere
Sue U wrote:Sounds very civilized/civilised and like a nice place to live. After the last couple of weeks, I'm frankly starting to think about other options.
Paris looks better by the day.....

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 1:14 am
by Guinevere
MajGenl.Meade wrote:It's expensive though - real expensive. And I'm not sure how health care would work for you either. Expensive too, I'd bet.
Cleveland expensive or NYC expensive? Everyone says Paris is expensive and it seemed pretty similar to Boston to me (I've been pricing real estate, too).

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 2:24 am
by MajGenl.Meade
My disposable income expensive....

Quarter pounder with cheese UK $4.12 USA $3.79 I chose an LCD to make a point. Can't eat in high class places every meal.

Price differentials at the higher end are not linear. Groceries cost more; petrol costs more; cars cost more; real estate costs more (and the houses are smaller)

At least there's public transport - in the city.

You name it - it costs more.

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 2:29 am
by dales
It's not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice. If you don't, everyone knows you're an American

I still do that!

Learned it in Merry Olde England.

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 2:31 am
by dales
Long Run wrote:
Breakfasts were pretty wonderful.
Must have upped their game since I was there 15 years ago when the first meal was pretty utilitarian.
I was there in 1965 and 1966.....gawd ,the food was awful!

I was happy to visit the continent.

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 4:40 am
by BoSoxGal
Hardly anyone smokes? I thought smoking was still quite common in the UK & Europe?

They hold their forks upside down? Can someone explain that? (Surely he means backwards?)

No window screens - are there no mosquitos in the UK?


I wish I lived someplace where there were no guns.


I've edited the typos that fuckhole wesw so kindly pointed out. :mrgreen:

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 11:18 am
by MajGenl.Meade
Educated cutlery handling:

The Correct Way:
Image

How to eat peas (or anything on the fork) without looking like an Irish navvy:
Image


The American grip:
Image

The American death grip (1):
Image

The American death grip (2):
Image

The American "switch hands and shovel" method (fork is upside down):
Image

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 11:31 am
by Guinevere
MajGenl.Meade wrote:My disposal income expensive....

Quarter pounder with cheese UK $4.12 USA $3.79 I chose an LCD to make a point. Can't eat in high class places every meal.

Price differentials at the higher end are not linear. Groceries cost more; petrol costs more; cars cost more; real estate costs more (and the houses are smaller)

At least there's public transport - in the city.

You name it - it costs more.
"Disposal" income?

I could (and did) get a crepe w egg & cheese (far superior to a QP) for 3E (about $3.30). I recall eating a great long baguette sandwich from a stand, w/ ham, cheese, pickles for 8E ($8.80) which is close to what I pay for lunch here and there was also sangria available (not so much, at the cafe in my building) for another 4E. That would be $6-10 here. Restaurants, hotels, cabs, etc all similarly priced to Boston. I didn't shop in the food markets, but the product I saw looked superior and the prices also in the same range as here for high quality product -- 5E for a pint of organic raspberries would be $4-5 for a half-pint here. I saw amazing roasting chickens on a spit for $10E each. Those would run $6-15 here, depending on whether they were free range/organically fed and what store you were shopping.

I was prepared to be shocked by the costs and I just wasn't. I also eat mostly organic fruits, veg and milk, and all of my eggs and most of my meat is locally raised -- free range, on organic farms -- so I recognize I spend more on groceries than the average american (but those costs are going up, too).

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 11:35 am
by MajGenl.Meade
Yes, disposal income. It's crap

(I hate auto-incorrect)

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 11:43 am
by wesw
bigsky: there
:if you want a place without guns why did you move to Montana? Chicago is the place for you. or mexico, they really make it hard to get guns in mexico. "their" is only one place, controlled by the govt, to purchase them, if you can even get permission.

meade: of course the first way is the proper way to hold a fork when cutting and eating meat. and never never cut more than one, two at most, pieces of steak at a time.

how can you stab someone quickly in an emergency if you put your knife down to switch hands?

Re: An American tourist writes...

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 11:44 am
by wesw
beer?