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Confessions of a menopausal nymphomaniac
Posted: Sun May 08, 2016 1:04 am
by Gob
I am the poster girl for the menopause, despite the fact that there is absolutely no good news about the menopause.
Its path is straight to the grave and women like me can hope for nothing more than thinning hair and skin, loss of bone density, weight gain, night sweats, smelling strangely even to ourselves and that ever wonderful “vaginal atrophy”. But, after four years of sexless fidelity, I find myself a post-menopausal singleton in the throes of nymphomania. I want sex more than ever and that fact shreds everything I know about this sad post-fertile state. Tell me my vagina is a desert and I’ll tell you it’s feeling like a ruddy oasis.
In discussions about this surge with colleagues, I am encouraged to download Tinder, Bumble and Happn. I’d never gone digital for sex because I had never needed to.
I may be closer to 60 than 50 but a lifetime of care and good genes mean I can pass for 42 and I do.
The menopause has caused me to lose weight and I have a leaner look than I did in my 20s. With gay and straight friends approving my photo profile, I go online expecting ridicule or silence. I put the apps’ radius near to my office. I choose the widest male age range – and wait.
The response is incredible. The photos have pulled men of 22 – and yes, I could almost be their grandmother – up to 63. My timelines are packed with splendid males, creatures so beautiful that I gasp. It’s a box of chocolates from which I get to pick and choose (especially with Bumble, where nothing happens until the woman makes the first move). Analogue life was never like this. I chat to them and discover that every young man likes kissing, has a bike and thinks he’s a photographer – a fascinating trope.
Continues here...
Re: Confessions of a menopausal nymphomaniac
Posted: Sun May 08, 2016 1:32 am
by Bicycle Bill
I have several words I could use to describe the author; I don't feel I can safely use them, however, because they carry 'negative connotations' and gods forbid that I should make anyone feel badly about themselves.
But I will note that most people, when purchasing a used car, will look for the ones that are advertised as having had only one owner.
-"BB"-
Re: Confessions of a menopausal nymphomaniac
Posted: Sun May 08, 2016 1:50 am
by BoSoxGal
Yo Mr. VanWinkle, it's not the 1950s anymore - hasn't been for a real long time!
Confessions Of A Menopausal Nymphomaniac
Posted: Sun May 08, 2016 3:55 am
by RayThom
Yeah, personally I enjoy driving those "classics" manufactured after 1975. And if they've had a couple of owners, well, no problem. With a good wash and wax and a "new car" scented air freshener they're ready to go.
Re: Confessions of a menopausal nymphomaniac
Posted: Sun May 08, 2016 10:49 am
by datsunaholic
Heck, I wouldn't mind a good 1960s model. Or 1970s or 1980s, I guess. And I sure as heck won't turn one down just because there's a lot of miles on the odometer. As long as there's no smoke and a little giddyup, that is. But ones made after the mid 80s are a bit too hard to maintain. Too much technology. Nice to look at, but too expensive for someone like me.
Wait- were we talking about cars or people?
Re: Confessions of a menopausal nymphomaniac
Posted: Sun May 08, 2016 3:01 pm
by rubato
Bicycle Bill wrote:I have several words I could use to describe the author; I don't feel I can safely use them, however, because they carry 'negative connotations' and gods forbid that I should make anyone feel badly about themselves.
But I will note that most people, when purchasing a used car, will look for the ones that are advertised as having had only one owner.
-"BB"-
Only if a rally winner isn't available.
Yrs,
Rubato
Re: Confessions of a menopausal nymphomaniac
Posted: Sun May 08, 2016 4:41 pm
by TPFKA@W
One man is quite enough thank you. But if this is your thing then more power to you and never mind the old foggy downers.
Re: Confessions of a menopausal nymphomaniac
Posted: Sun May 08, 2016 5:42 pm
by Burning Petard
Note what she says about he ex- and about relationships.
snailgate.
Re: Confessions of a menopausal nymphomaniac
Posted: Sun May 08, 2016 7:45 pm
by BoSoxGal
Meh after reading the full post I'd say she's a bit
but to each her own. I'd sure love to have sex again (a lot!) before I check out but I also prefer one partner to many. Problem is I prefer that one partner to be terribly clever as well as yummy in bed.
Of course I'm both, you don't even need to ask.
Confessions Of A Menopausal Nymphomaniac
Posted: Sun May 08, 2016 9:15 pm
by RayThom
Most guys I know who keep themselves in nice shape enjoy the driveability of a sporty compact. Trying to get comfortable driving a stake-body truck for a simple evening pleasure ride is often too much to handle. Most women at the rental agency know this to be true yet insist that what's on the lot should be good enough. If you want the ride bad enough you'll take it -- no questions asked.
Re: Confessions of a menopausal nymphomaniac
Posted: Sun May 08, 2016 10:11 pm
by BoSoxGal
Who wouldn't love a sporty compact? Not many of us fit comfortably in one the older we get . . . including men of a certain age who see themselves in a magic mirror that reflects them high school/college aged/fit forever.
Re: Confessions of a menopausal nymphomaniac
Posted: Sun May 08, 2016 10:29 pm
by Lord Jim
BSG, you sound like a right cougar...
Not that there's anything wrong with that...
Re: Confessions of a menopausal nymphomaniac
Posted: Sun May 08, 2016 11:52 pm
by Bicycle Bill
BoSoxGal wrote:Yo Mr. VanWinkle, it's not the 1950s anymore - hasn't been for a real long time!
Maybe not, but I still don't think that any woman — or man either, for that matter — should be banging strangers willy-nilly like they're trying to earn a place in the Guinness Book of Records or the Hooker's Hall of Fame.
-"BB"-
Confessions Of A Menopausal Nymphomaniac
Posted: Mon May 09, 2016 2:33 am
by RayThom
Health and Sex -- beyond socio-religious repression. It's not just for marriage any more. (Actually it never was.)
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/ ... e-have-sex
Rule #1: Be SAFE.
Rule #2: Have a good time.
Re: Confessions of a menopausal nymphomaniac
Posted: Mon May 09, 2016 3:42 am
by Long Run
And how many husbands are disappointed they had to live through "the pause" without any similar confessions?
Re: Confessions of a menopausal nymphomaniac
Posted: Mon May 09, 2016 4:59 pm
by rubato
Bicycle Bill wrote:BoSoxGal wrote:Yo Mr. VanWinkle, it's not the 1950s anymore - hasn't been for a real long time!
Maybe not, but I still don't think that any woman — or man either, for that matter — should be banging strangers willy-nilly like they're trying to earn a place in the Guinness Book of Records or the Hooker's Hall of Fame.
-"BB"-
Now now now it is just "a life-time hobby of fun and entertainment".
yrs,
rubato
Re: Confessions of a menopausal nymphomaniac
Posted: Mon May 09, 2016 5:32 pm
by Bicycle Bill
rubato wrote:Now now now it is just "a life-time hobby of fun and entertainment".
yrs,
rubato
I guess I opened the door and walked right into that one, didn't I?
-"BB"-