No way Jose!

[Gob]

Judge orders Spanish lessons for children


BELLINDA KONTOMINAS COURTS
April 22, 2010

A COURT has ordered that an Australian mother enrol her children in Spanish classes to learn the culture and customs of their father's homeland.

Family law experts say the decision is highly unusual, but consistent with changes to laws emphasising cultural factors when considering what is in the best interest of a child when parents separate.

The woman, known in court documents as Ms Quang, met the man in Spain in August 2004 and they had plans to settle in Australia. But by October 2006, when their Spanish-born daughter was 16 months old and their son was about to be born, their relationship had broken down.

It was agreed that if the woman returned to live in Australia with their two children, she would allow them to spend two months each year with their father in Spain.

But she later refused to fly the children to Spain, claiming she had signed the agreement under duress and the children would experience separation anxiety away from her care.

During a Family Court hearing the mother was described by the judge as ''fearful and desperately sad at the prospect of having to return to Spain with the children''. The father was adamant that his children would not know him properly until they had stood on Spanish soil and ''benefit[ted] from his rich family life.''

The mother would consider taking them to Spain if the father first developed a relationship with them in Australia.

The father had never met his son and the only contact he had had with his children since the separation was by webcam and telephone, the court heard.

Justice Victoria Bennett accepted that if the children spent a long time without their mother ''the bottom would fall out of their worlds''.

Justice Bennett ordered they remain living with her in Victoria and that for the next three years, the father visit them there for three weeks, gradually increasing the time he spent with them on each occasion.

She also ordered they learn the language and customs of their father's culture.

A senior lecturer in law at the University of Wollongong, John Littrich, said he had not heard of such an order in 13 years in practice. The court had found an effective way to maintain the cultural link between the children and their father so he did not become more of a stranger to them, he said.

A professor of law at Sydney University, Patrick Parkinson, said it was a smart and ''creative'' decision.

http://www.smh.com.au/national/judge-or ... -t0m4.html

Am I alone in thinking this is a bit dodgy?

[The Hen]

I dunno, I think it is acceptable. The father obviously wants to be a part of their lives. If he was with them he would have had the time and ability to teach them Spanish. Lets face it, if the parents were still together, they would probably be living in Spain anyway.

I am glad the Court accepted that sending over such small children without their mother at such a young age to a total stranger was a bit OTT.

Besides, the Hatch was able to learn Tasmanian from her father.

[Scooter]

It's the mother that sounds dodgy to me. She lulled the father into letting her take the kids back to Australia under the pretense that he would have them with him for two months out of the year. Once back home she reneged. Fortunately for her, best interests of the child must prevail even if she is a scam artist trying to deprive the children of their father, and so she was able to retain primary custody. Learning the language and customs of their father's country so that they can develop some comfort in spending time there with him is eminently reasonable.

[BoSoxGal]

The selfishness of many parents disgusts me. Although I'm not doing family law primarily anymore, I still have a lot of involvement in family law issues through dependency/neglect cases that we handle, as well as juvenile court cases (which generally involve kids who are getting zero positive parenting).

More and more I am convinced we should require a license for parenting, as we all pay for the results of bad parenting.

eta: Just to be clear, I agree with Scooter - it's the mother who is dodgy. Even if I gave her the benefit of the doubt, dad was a terrible partner to her, she needed to move home to be near her family, etc. - still her children deserve a relationship with their father and absent any evidence that he is not a fit parent, those kids are young/resilient and they would deal with the 'separation anxiety' of leaving her to spend time with their daddy. The longer she resists allowing them to bond with him, the more difficult it will be for them to do so. She's a selfish idiot.

[Crackpot]

eta: Just to be clear, I agree with Scooter - it's the mother who is dodgy. Even if I gave her the benefit of the doubt, dad was a terrible partner to her, she needed to move home to be near her family, etc. - still her children deserve a relationship with their father and absent any evidence that he is not a fit parent, those kids are young/resilient and they would deal with the 'seperation anxiety' of leaving her to spend time with their daddy. The longer she resists allowing them to bond with him, the more difficult it will be for them to do so. She's a selfish idiot.

REminds me of What my Brothers friend said about his kids relationship with his ex wife:
"Even though I had a good case for denying her any custody whatsoever and as much as it pains me to share them with her I can not in good conscience deny them access to her. For one I can't let her and my relationship interfere with their relationship with their mother. Second I don't want to be seen by them as keeping them away from her (which would also make her seem all that more attractive) Eventually they'll discover how much of a loser she is"

[Scooter]

More and more I am convinced we should require a license for parenting

Amen. The hoops we force adoptive and foster parents to go through, and yet we give the benefit of the doubt that anyone with functioning ovaries and/or testes has the skills and knowledge to be a parent.

[The Hen]

REminds me of What my Brothers friend said about his kids relationship with his ex wife:
"Even though I had a good case for denying her any custody whatsoever and as much as it pains me to share them with her I can not in good conscience deny them access to her. For one I can't let her and my relationship interfere with their relationship with their mother.

Although neither my ex or myself had a particularly horrible split, we did make sure we did everything for the Hatch to make sure she grew up knowing she had two parents who loved her fully.

As a result, my ex often stops by on his way somewhere to have a chat or we all go somewhere together as a family group.

I would never live too far away from him whilst she is still growing up. The bond is too important to stretch the distance that far.

[Gob]

Although neither my ex or myself had a particularly horrible split, we did make sure we did everything for the Hatch to make sure she grew up knowing she had two parents who loved her fully.

As a result, my ex often stops by on his way somewhere to have a chat or we all go somewhere together as a family group.

I would never live too far away from him whilst she is still growing up. The bond is too important to stretch the distance that far.

Hell, it's not unusual for me and Hatch's dad to go out to events and other things with her, and without Hen...

Lat time was when me and him took her to see the "Crusty Demons".

He'll be dropping he off this morning after she stayed at his place last night, if he has time he'll come in for a coffee with us.

I have to say that this great state of affairs is more down to his understanding and forbearance than anything I have to offer.

[The Hen]

I always pick good blokes.

[kristina]

Lucky girl, your Hatch!