Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

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Joe Guy
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Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

Post by Joe Guy »

A Texas man says his child isn’t transgender. His custody fight has reached the governor’s office.

There is little that Jeffrey Younger and Anne Georgulas agree on about one of their twins.

To start: Is the 7-year-old transgender?

It's a question that has divided the Coppell, Texas, parents - on how Luna, who was named James at birth, should be dressed to school and wear their hair. On whether the child should receive gender-affirming care, which could eventually lead to medical treatment to delay puberty. On which parent should get to live with the twins, and who should have a say in decisions over their health.

At least one of those conflicts was resolved on Tuesday, as a jury in Dallas effectively granted sole custody of Luna to Georgulas in a deeply personal case of gender identity, family conflict and viral misinformation that has lit conservative circles aflame.

Since the start of the trial last week, a number of conservative media outlets have cried foul about the situation, claiming that Georgulas, a pediatrician with a private practice in a Dallas suburb, was going to have Luna "mutilated" or "chemically castrated." The case even made its way to at least three Texas Republicans, including Sen. Ted Cruz, who called the child "a pawn in a left-wing political agenda."

Gov. Greg Abbott, R, meanwhile, said late on Wednesday that state agencies were looking into the situation. Neither office immediately responded to a request for comment. Attorneys for both parents also did not immediately respond.

But as Younger turned the parents' fight into one over irreversible medical procedures, experts on health care for transgender children told The Washington Post that Georgulas' approach to the child would not involve any kind of surgery or hormones for years.

"Many people wrongly assume that prepubescent transgender or gender-diverse children will receive medical interventions," Katherine Kuvalanka, a social work professor at Miami University in Ohio, said in an email to The Washington Post. "The only interventions for young children is affirmation and acceptance for who they are."

In its 11-to-1 ruling, a jury all but gave Georgulas the right to sign off on any medical and psychological decisions. If a judge upholds that ruling on Thursday, the verdict would end a bitter, two-year saga between the parents, who had their brief marriage annulled over their child's gender identity, a case that wades deep into thorny, polarized and little-known questions about the impact of medical transitions on young children.

It all began, Younger says on his blog, on the twins' third birthday, when Luna expressed a desire to be a girl.

At that point, the father was paying maximum child support and had standard custody in Texas: He saw the twins once a week for two hours and had them sleep over at his apartment two weekends a month. They spent the rest of their time with Georgulas, who had noticed that the child, known by the name James at the time, wanted to wear dresses and look like the female characters from the Disney movie "Frozen."

Georgulas took Luna to see a therapist, who diagnosed the child with gender dysphoria - a mismatch between the gender assigned at birth and the one they identified with. From there, the therapist laid out steps on how to make the child feel affirmed, such as letting Luna paint their nails and putting them in a dress, as the mother did when the twins turned 5.

But Younger has repeatedly told a different story in interviews with conservative media outlets, including LifeSiteNews, a website run by a Canadian antiabortion organization that advocates for "traditional family values" and against same-sex marriage.

"James presents as a boy with me and he presents as a girl with his mom," Younger said to the website last month. "He gets dressed as a boy at his mother's home and he comes out to me as a boy. That means that he's comfortable as a boy at his mother's home."

Younger charged that Georgulas had been pressuring Luna to want to use female pronouns. He cut the child's hair, put the child in boys' clothes and continued calling them James.

In August 2018, Georgulas filed for a restraining order to block Younger from entering the twins' school or telling other parents or students "that the gender of Luna is different than a girl named Luna."

She also tried to enroll their child in gender transition therapy at GENECIS, a pediatric clinic for transgender children in Dallas and the first one like it in the Southwest. Representatives for the clinic did not immediately answer a request for comment on Wednesday night.

But Laura Edwards-Leeper, a clinical psychologist at Pacific University, said that for someone of Luna's age, gender-affirming care would not include any kind of medical intervention until they hit puberty. Even then, she said, it's not an automatic procedure.

After a mental-health evaluation and discussion with parents, it might encompass a range of activities to help "the child to live as their authentic gender, and with their preferred gender expression, at any given point in time, without a presumption about their future gender identity," she said.

For a 7-year-old, that might mean speaking to experts and potentially helping them through a social transition, which might include changing their clothes, hairstyle or pronouns. At around ages 10 to 13, parents, health professionals and the child might decide to take puberty blockers, which delay the development of secondary sex characteristics, like facial hair or breasts.

Those can be stopped at any time, and puberty continues as it would normally. "It is only irreversible if the adults in the child's life make it irreversible," Edwards-Leeper told The Post. "If the adults can stay open to whatever trajectory the child has, then it's completely reversible."

Younger, however, said that a tactic of "watchful waiting" would be more prudent for Luna instead. Because he still had custody, his objections meant that the clinic said it could not take Luna on as a client, LifeSiteNews and other outlets reported.

Kuvalanka, however, said the "watchful waiting" approach can be harmful when a parent is withholding acceptance, and that tactic has been deemed "outdated" by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Around the time she filed the restraining order, Georgulas also tried to alter the terms of what is essentially Texas's version of joint custody. She wanted Younger to affirm the child's gender identity, requiring him to call her Luna and use female pronouns, and prevent him from making them spend time with those who did otherwise.

In response, Younger made a request of his own: a petition for full custody over the twins. Launching an Internet campaign to #ProtectJamesYounger, which was shared by Cruz and Rep. Dan Crenshaw, R-Texas, he argued that Georgulas was going to force the child to undergo "chemical castration" once the 7-year-old became old enough to transition.

And he stepped up his calls. In January, on a podcast with a Texas political operative, he described talking with the child on FaceTime, accusing Georgulas of having "dressed him as a drag queen," with fake eyelashes, makeup and hair covered in glitter.

"This is not just emotional abuse but is the very, most fundamental form of sexual abuse, tampering with the sexual identity of a vulnerable boy," the father said.

The judgment effectively giving the mother sole custody of the twins was unusual, Kuvalanka said, given that juries and judges tend to side with parents who repress a child's gender identity. But the victory has come with a cost.

Georgulas's attorneys said the mother has faced threats, harassment, and vandalism, having been "viciously attacked and threatened by complete strangers," they said in a statement to the Daily Caller, "based on false and untrue statements."
source

I agree with the father although I'm not sure I'd call it sexual abuse.

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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

Post by Scooter »

Yeah, dog forbid that the advice of medical experts should be followed, experts who are proposing exactly zero medical interventions for the foreseeable future. Not sure how a treatment plan involving zero medical interventions gets twisted into an allegation of "chemical castration", but ok.

The only irreversible harm that could conceivably befall this child is the father's intentional alienation of his daughter.
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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

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At the age of four, I wanted to be a train driver. My parents dressed me as a can of oil, started calling me "Casey" and stopped bothering me with school. Oddly, I'm not and never have been a train driver. I do have a fondness for steam and porters nicknamed "Lofty".
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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

Post by ex-khobar Andy »

Without knowing either the child or the parents, based on the story as written I'd have to side with the mother. She is after all a paediatrician which has to count for a lot. And the (Texas!) jury was split 11-1 in the mother's favour which is certainly going against type. They heard all the evidence which we have not.

In 2015 I went to a movie called Boy Meets Girl in Columbia MO. Columbia is an unexpectedly liberal town in the middle of Missouri - an electoral map in 2016 showed blue around KC in the west and St Louis in the east and a tiny blue dot in the middle - Columbia. The movie at our local art-house was billed as a coming of age rom com featuring a transgender actor, Michelle Hendley. I was expecting an earnest little movie about how we have to be nice to each other but You've Got Mail broke out. It was funny, well acted, a few plot twists and generally feel-good.

Michelle Hendley was there at the screening - she was from Columbia - and there was half an hour or so of Q&A afterwards. I don't know that I've met a transgender person before. (I'm sure that I have but if it didn't come up in the conversation, how would I know? I can probably count on my fingers and toes most of the openly gay people I have known. I bet the real number is ten times that: not that they were closeted [if that's an OK word these days] but I tend not to discuss sexuality with my friends - mine or theirs - so how would I know?) She answered patiently and without embarrassment any and all questions. I do recall that she knew from an early age that she was wrongly assigned. Yes she had a dick (we all knew because we'd seen it on screen 20 minutes ago) but that was a small part of her identity. If you saw her in the street you would never know: if you took her at face value she was a pretty and articulate young woman probably concerned about how to lose that last ten pounds to get to her ideal weight. And I'm not making that comment to be judgmental - I'm the last person who should make comments about someone else's weight - but to point out that I hoped than once she'd sorted out who she was, her concerns would be the same as everyone else's. Not which washroom to use if she was at the mall; not whether she could join the Army if that was her desire; but to make some sort of plan and go for it with your success at attaining that plan dependent on how well you did and not what someone else might think.

it seems to me that the sooner you get that other stuff (who am I, really?) out of the way the quicker you can get on with life. I think - again, based on just this report and the fact that the jury came down strongly in her favor - the mother has it right.

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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

Post by Joe Guy »

At seven years old, how do you know the difference between whether a boy is going to be a transvestite or has been born with the wrong sexual organs? Or maybe he's just a budding British comedian?

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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

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The OP story doesn’t provide the most recent info on the status of the case - the judge overruled the jury’s findings and gave joint custody to the parents, allowing the father to continue to oppose any medical transition of the child.
A Texas judge has given joint custody to two parents locked in a bitter dispute over the gender identity of their child, in a case that has provoked wider debate over the appropriate age for gender transitions.

During the trial, Anne Georgulas said her child - named James at birth - identifies as a girl and wishes to be called Luna.

But the father, Jeffrey Younger, claimed Dr Georgulas has pressured their child to identify as female, and charged his ex-wife with child abuse.

Judge Kim Cooks ruled on Thursday that decisions over issues like medical procedures and psychiatric treatment should be reached by Mr Younger and Dr Georgulas together.

In doing so, she overruled a prior decision by a Dallas jury that voted 11-1 to give Dr Georgulas sole control of the child's medical and physiological care. In Texas parties in custody disputes can opt for a trial by jury, but a judge can review the decision.

The case has sparked outcry on the political right, with conservatives echoing Mr Younger's claims of child abuse.

The Texas attorney general said child protective services would investigate the abuse allegations involving the family from Coppell, a Dallas suburb.

As Judge Cooks issued her ruling, however, she said there was no evidence supporting charges of abuse by either Mr Younger or Dr Georgulas.

Both parents have been barred from speaking publicly about the case. For Mr Younger - who has strongly objected to treating his child as a girl - this means shutting down his website, Save James, which has attracted the support of the political right.

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Dr Georgulas, a paediatrician, said her child - who has a twin brother - began to express a desire to be a girl in 2015, when the child was three, asking to wear dresses and look like the female characters from the Disney movie Frozen.

Mr Younger and Dr Georgulas' four-year marriage was annulled in 2016, at which point Dr Georgulas was given exclusive control of decisions regarding medical, psychological and educational issues.

"[The child] has been dressing as a girl in public, going to school in public as a girl, and requests that she be named Luna," a lawyer for Dr Georgulas, Kim Meaders, told a court last year.

At the child's five-year-old medical check-up, the doctor diagnosed the child with "gender identity disorder", Dr Georgulas testified.

After the next annual check-up, the doctor wrote that child was "still referring to self as female".

Image copyright DREW ANTHONY SMITH/GETTY IMAGES Texas Governor Greg Abbott
Image caption Texas Governor Greg Abbott says several state agencies were looking into the case
At trial, Dr Georgulas said psychologists had recommended that she allow the child "to present in whatever way they wish".

"The interviews with teachers, the counsellor's notes and records, Luna herself and Luna's brother all state Luna has always wanted to be a girl... It's not being forced upon her," Ms Meaders said.

Therapists and counsellors who testified confirmed Dr Georgulas' account. Teachers at school call the child Luna.

But Mr Younger argued that his ex-wife had pressured their child to identify as transgender, saying in court that his child had been "perfectly happy as a boy".

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He has been outspoken about the harms he believes are caused by a child beginning a gender transition.

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"Children who are too young to make the choice can't make the choice," he said in trial.

In a podcast this year, Mr Younger described how upsetting it was for him to see his son during their video chats dressed as "a drag queen" with "false eyelashes and makeup".

He said in an interview with Texas conservative strategist Luke Macias he said that "tampering" with a young boy's gender identity amounted to sexual abuse.

Mr Younger added: "The courts are not going to be fair to you. And the only way you can survive this and get your son through this alive is to calmly allow your son to be tortured right before your eyes and outlast the opposition."

He has said he would allow his child to dress as a girl upon reaching 18 years of age.

The "wait-and-see" approach, advocated by Mr Younger has been described as "outdated" by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) .

Treating children's chosen gender identities as "possibly true" can deny "critical support", according to the AAP.

The case has provoked heated response from conservatives, including President Donald Trump's son, Donald Trump Jr, and Texas Senator Ted Cruz.

"This is child abuse," Donald Trump Jr wrote in a tweet .

Announcing the state inquiry, Attorney General Ken Paxton said on Thursday: "Texans understand that children are cherished, unique individuals who should be supported and properly cared for as they grow up in communities."

He said the Department of Family and Protective Services would "conduct a thorough investigation, and protect this child".

During the trial, Dr Georgulas said she would consider hormone suppression once the twin reaches puberty, and only if the child "persists" in identifying as a girl. Dr Georgulas had requested that the court demand written consent from both parents before any treatment involving hormone suppression, puberty blockers and transgender reassignment surgery.

Hormone suppression prevents the development of sex characteristics such as periods, breasts or voice-breaking.

Critics have argued that such treatment would be inappropriate for so young a child.

But health professionals stress that hormone suppressors are never used for a pre-pubescent children. They emphasise that hormone suppressors are only prescribed at a certain stage of puberty ("Tanner Stage 2" - typically between the ages of 10-14) and that the drugs' effects are reversible.

Laura Edwards-Leeper, a clinical psychologist at Pacific University who specialises in gender identity says he finds it astonishing that "people believe that medical providers are offering treatment to young children".

"When there are headlines about sex changes in children, that is completely not true," he told the BBC.

In addition to a physician, many patients will also be seen by a therapist for an assessment, like Dr Edwards-Leeper, before being prescribed puberty blockers.


Video caption Chile's Amaranta school is believed to be the first in the world created for transgender children
Echoing Dr Edwards-Leeper, psychotherapist Wesley Parks said at trial that it "wouldn't be possible" for Ms Georgulas and Mr Younger's child to take hormone blockers at the age of seven.

Puberty blockers are "critical" for children who are struggling with their gender identity, Dr Edwards-Leeper said. It "alleviates the distress that puberty causes for many of these kids before they have to make a decision about possibly irreversible interventions".

Even for the "handful" of her patients who have chosen to go off the hormone blockers, Dr Edwards-Leeper has observed no psychological harm to the temporary delay in puberty.

"It's completely false to say supporting a young child in their affirmed gender is child abuse," Dr Edwards-Leeper said. "It's in the child's best interest."

Recent estimates place the number of transgender adults in the US at 1.4 million - 0.6% of the population age 18 or older.

A transgender person is someone who experiences a gender identity which differs from that of their assigned sex at birth.

I have mixed feelings about this case; I fully support transitioning for adults and for children are determined to be certain in their feelings and desires about their sexuality, but after years in family and criminal law I’ve seen that parents are capable of some pretty sick shit and I’m sure it’s possible for a parent to exert a great deal of undue influence on a child’s perception of their sexuality just as children have been convinced they have cancer or any number of medical conditions by parents with Munchhausen by proxy - so I think ultimately a child in this situation needs a caring, committed guardian ad litem and independent assessment by medical and psychological professionals. The mother being a pediatrician doesn’t mean a lot to me because I’ve seen pediatricians who used their practices as a means to practice pedophilia - I have no special regard for the intelligence or nobility of doctors whatsoever - which is why a child in this situation should be assessed by multiple professionals, which I believe (I hope) is the standard protocol.

In any case this poor child is going to suffer the torments of hell being torn between these two parents, whether or not they are truly trans.
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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

Post by ex-khobar Andy »

I didn't know that a judge could overrule a jury.

I presumed that the jury had access to all the information the judge had - yes, just because the mother is a doctor is no guarantee of anything (Britain's most notorious serial killer was a family doctor called Harold Shipman with an estimated 250 victims) but you would think that it would be one factor in the weight of evidence. The fact that they were 11-1 in favor of the mother (this is Texas which is not famous for wishy washy liberals) makes me think that her case was persuasive.

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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

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I find the idea of a jury deciding a child custody case pretty bizarre to begin with, notwithstanding how they decided this case.
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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

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The one thing that is guaranteed by all this analysis and legal wrangling is the child will live a confused and emotionally unstable life for years. The parents need counseling and/or a kick in their asses.

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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

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A prepubescent child should not have painted nails, fake eyelashes, makeup and hair covered in glitter. Give him or her them a sexually ambiguous nickname and sexually ambiguous/tomboy clothes (plenty of girls don't wear dresses very often!), let them "dress up" in whatever they want when playing around the house, and let them keep their hair at whatever length they're comfortable with, as long as it's clean and not too messy. And pronouns? Jesus H. Fucking Christ...pronouns???? what sort of 7-y-o knows or cares about pronouns???
BoSoxGal wrote:In any case this poor child is going to suffer the torments of hell being torn between these two parents, whether or not they are truly trans.
Yeah. It sounds to me like the child "presents" as a girl to her mother because that's what pleases her mother, and "presents" as a boy to his father because that's what pleases his father. Just a guess.
Joe Guy wrote:The one thing that is guaranteed by all this analysis and legal wrangling is the child will live a confused and emotionally unstable life for years. The parents need counseling and/or a kick in their asses.
  • ^^^THIS^^^
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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

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I agree with you entirely Econo, but sadly children are being sexualized younger and younger by some parents - in particular girl children.

I will say that depiction of the mother dressing up the child to that extreme was one thing that gave me pause as to whether she was projecting her own desire for a daughter onto the child. The phenomenon of mothers dressing male children as girls for their own amusement precedes the recent openness about trans persons by hundreds of years.

I was also surprised by the jury in a family law case, and glad that the system allows for judges to override in such cases - I’m not sure family law is appropriate for juries. The best interests of the child standard that is uniform to all (?) US jurisdictions is a bit more complex than the average juror might grasp, and the other danger is that juries could easily vote according to likability of litigants (i.e., a popularity contest) and even obnoxious unlikable assholes have fundamental rights to their children absent abuse or neglect - and those children have rights to their parents too, no matter how crappy those parents might come off in an adversarial testimonial setting. Judges understand this.
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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

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Joe Guy wrote:The one thing that is guaranteed by all this analysis and legal wrangling is the child will live a confused and emotionally unstable life for years. The parents need counseling and/or a kick in their asses.
I see a starring role in Keeping Up with the Krapdashians.
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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

Post by Joe Guy »

Or maybe a prequel. Bruce - the early years.

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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

Post by Econoline »

Seriously...this kid needs a gender-neutral nickname, before everyone just starts calling him/her/them "Loony". :loon
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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

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Econoline wrote:A prepubescent child should not have painted nails, fake eyelashes, makeup and hair covered in glitter. Give him or her them a sexually ambiguous nickname and sexually ambiguous/tomboy clothes (plenty of girls don't wear dresses very often!), let them "dress up" in whatever they want when playing around the house, and let them keep their hair at whatever length they're comfortable with, as long as it's clean and not too messy. And pronouns? Jesus H. Fucking Christ...pronouns???? what sort of 7-y-o knows or cares about pronouns???
BoSoxGal wrote:In any case this poor child is going to suffer the torments of hell being torn between these two parents, whether or not they are truly trans.
Yeah. It sounds to me like the child "presents" as a girl to her mother because that's what pleases her mother, and "presents" as a boy to his father because that's what pleases his father. Just a guess.
Joe Guy wrote:The one thing that is guaranteed by all this analysis and legal wrangling is the child will live a confused and emotionally unstable life for years. The parents need counseling and/or a kick in their asses.
  • ^^^THIS^^^
Way too much commonsense in that post Econo...
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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

Post by TPFKA@W »

Sometimes, and I would dare say more often than not, what comes out of the mouths of very young children is completely ignored. I have never questioned gay people who claim to have known from and early age that they were gay. It is easy for me to believe because I knew, absolutely, from about age 4 or 5 that I did not want to have children when I grew up. I got a great deal of shit from my mother and countless others on the topic over the course of many years. It is not easy to tell people that your intention is to be childfree. Everyone knows better than you what you want. Well guess what, I am 60 and have managed to make my life as child free as is possible.

Maybe the kid is on to something.

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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

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TPFKA@W wrote:.....I have never questioned gay people who claim to have known from and early age that they were gay. It is easy for me to believe because I knew, absolutely, from about age 4 or 5 that I did not want to have children when I grew up......
I never wanted to have children either. I was afraid they would find me some day.

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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

Post by Bicycle Bill »

Joe Guy wrote:I never wanted to have children either. I was afraid they would find me some day.
...and take their revenge.... :nana
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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

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Seven-year-old at the center of a transgender custody battle between his parents opts to go to school as a boy after his father told a judge he does not want to transition into a girl or wear dresses
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... le-7663591

The DM story is worth checking out because it contains evidence that raises my primary concern about these parents: they’ve allowed both boys to be pictured in the story and the pediatrician mother uses them in advertising shots on her practice website. I think that’s just really wrong; it’s probably not okay for ‘regular’ kids either, but certainly a kid going through gender uncertainty shouldn’t be advertised far and wide on social and mainstream media by its parents - those stories never go away.

What do others feel about this? I have friends who won’t post any pictures of their children on Facebook, feeling it’s up to the kids to decide when they should be on social media or not. The APA warns against parents posting about their kids, both pictures and stories, without getting consent from the kids as a potential source of distrust between children and parents. Other implications include identity theft and of course, the potential that some creep out there is masturbating to your kids or grandkids pictures and trading them around on the dark web.

I’m sure glad I didn’t grow up in the age of social media.
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Re: Parents Can't Agree on the Sex of Their Child...

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I think everyone here knows I’m very liberal and among other things, a LGBTQ ally. I was exposed at a very early age having a gay uncle who cohabitated with his lover (they’d have married had it been legal) and another uncle who was a transvestite who openly cross-dressed among family. The latter wasn’t explained to me until I was a teenager; before that we kids all thought we had an Aunt Leona who only showed up when Uncle Harry wasn’t around - hey, families are weird.

Anyway that’s a preamble to me posting in this thread about a concern I’ve held for some time now - after a lot of reading and watching every documentary and pro-transgender dramatization I’ve seen available about the formal medical gender transitioning of children.

Andrew Sullivan is a serious writer, this piece was published in NY Magazine a few days ago. Here’s the link, as there are hyperlinks within the article that some might wish to explore. https://www.google.com/amp/nymag.com/in ... young.html

I’m not transphobic.
The Hard Questions About Young People and Gender Transitions
By Andrew Sullivan

Earlier this week, I met a group of women in their early 20s who are not supposed to exist.

They’re women who, in their teens, realized that they were actually men, socially transitioned to the other sex, and then underwent hormone therapy to change their bodies, faces, and voices to become transgender men. After varying amounts of time, however, they all realized they had made a big mistake, stopped testosterone therapy, and “detransitioned” back to being who they were before. They are now embarrassed, they say, but not ashamed. “I don’t identify as anything,” one of them told me. “I just have two X chromosomes in the bag.”

These women are not anti-trans, or religious nuts, or members of the far right. They expressed not a smidgen of transphobia, just a pressing concern that many teenage women, particularly lesbians, struggling with gender dysphoria, have been convinced too quickly that the only solution is to change their sex. They worry that any kind of therapy apart from affirmation of transgender identity is now seen as transphobic, and that teens are able to get hormones far too easily.

The widespread consensus today is that detransitioning is so rare even mentioning it borders on transphobic. But in reality, absolutely no one knows how rare detransitions are currently — the small set of research studies detransition skeptics present as evidence that it is very uncommon all come from vastly different contexts, in some cases decades-old, and arguably don’t capture what’s going on in 2019. These women live every day with the consequences of their decision: tenacious facial hair (one has to shave every three days) and body hair, deeper voices, permanently enlarged clitorises. They also suffer from the effects of “binding,” i.e. wearing a breast corset of sorts, to flatten their chests, so they can pass more easily as men. “I have back issues, lower lung capacity, and permanent dents around my shoulders,” one told me. “Every now and again, I have to push a rib back in to breathe,” another recounts. “I have permanent bruising,” another explains. “Serious back issues,” says another, who cannot carry a backpack for long without pain. “We get ‘sir’ed at Dunkin’ Donuts every time,” one joked.

How could this have happened? We are regularly told that no child or teen is encouraged to take puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones unless they have shown “consistent, insistent and persistent” identification with the opposite sex. And yet all these women became trans quite suddenly after puberty, found affirmation immediately, and got testosterone easily. One says she told her mom one evening that she was having a sleepover with friends, but instead drove hundreds of miles to a Planned Parenthood through the night in search for help with transitioning. Within a couple of hours, after telling her life story, she says she was diagnosed as trans by a social worker, who was impressed by her tenacity in driving so far, and was started on testosterone therapy before even getting any results from blood work. Another got diagnosed online, and got testosterone in the mail.

By their own accounts, they had been adamantly trans in their teens. “I was the student trying to get a professor fired because he wouldn’t allow they and them to be used for a singular person in my papers … I threatened my parents and friends with suicide. It became part of my identity to be suicidal. I screamed at my parents about this, even though I knew I wasn’t going to kill myself.” One went by the pronouns xe and xer and flew into a rage if she was misgendered. Once they had transitioned, and felt miserable nonetheless, they felt that this too was just part of being transgender. One talked of “the hunger to suffer.” Another spoke of “using your pain to validate your own destruction.”

How typical are these responses? We can’t tell, because in the U.S., it’s close to impossible to get an empirical grasp on it. The Reddit group for detransitioners has over 6,000 members, which might be indicative — but certainly some of that number includes observers and people merely questioning their transition. Clinical research on this topic is scant and tenuous. Even in Britain, where the NHS keeps statistics, and where there is only one center devoted to treatment of transgender kids (the Tavistock Centre), there’s no data on detransitioning.

But the data on transitioning in the past decade is startling. In 2009–2010, there were reportedly 32 girls and 40 boys referred to the center for treatment. Since 2018, there have been 624 boys and 1,740 girls, overwhelmingly in their teens. One explanation is that, as stigma declined, more transgender kids identified themselves as such. But the shift toward girls, compared with boys, suggests that something else may be going on. Why should the female share of transgender patients suddenly shift from 44 percent to 74 percent girls in a decade?

The women I spoke to said the internet, particularly Tumblr, was the key change. “The online effect is where the transgender boom was born,” one argues. She and her brother got wrapped up in web subcultures in their teens, as so many now do. “I went trans online; my brother went alt-right,” says one. Online support for trans teens is wonderful. Before the Web, many trans teens felt alone and isolated, whereas now they feel collective support and affirmation from peers around the country and the world. But those spaces also tend to be dominated by trans people who, for completely understandable reasons, worry about trans people not getting treatment and eager to help others transition. Detransitioning is rarely mentioned and usually discounted as a myth or equated with transphobia. When one of the women began to question her decision, she tells me, “I thought I was the only trans person who ever doubted it.” (It’s also worth noting that at least some detransitioners are forced into it because of social pressure, threats of violence, or a lack of ongoing access to hormones — not every detransitioner detransitions because they determine they aren’t really trans.)

A Brown University professor, Lisa Littman, published a paper earlier this year citing parents’ reports on their transgender kids. She discovered a pattern: Most (83 percent) were girls in their teens with no previous history of gender dysphoria, who spent a lot of time online, and “more than one-third [of whom] had friendship groups in which 50 percent or more of the youths began to identify as transgender in a similar time frame.” Littman was not the first person to use this term, but she described this phenomenon as “rapid onset gender dysphoria,” and worried that it could be caused by social contagion, or connected to other issues such as the rejection of parents, depression, autism, and bipolar disease. Littman was concerned that these kids were not getting the full range of mental health help they needed. (Earlier this year, a governor of the Tavistock Centre resigned after submitting a report that argued that teens were being fast-tracked to transition in the center, without sufficient exploration of other comorbid factors. He felt the place had so lost its way in a thicket of ideology that he had to quit.)

The Littman paper was assailed by trans activists and their allies, denounced as transphobic, and had to have its framing language changed before it was republished. But the research and the findings, while very limited in their scope, held up under peer review, and were the same in the republished version as in the original. This is a real enough phenomenon to merit much more research to confirm it. But the pressure to stop this research remains enormous: Littman herself lost her consulting job over the paper, after a campaign to get her fired for transphobia.

The pressure on parents to give puberty-blocking drugs or cross-sex hormones to gender-dysphoric kids or teens is also intense. “Do you want a happy son or a dead daughter?” is the usual formula, deploying statistics on suicide among transgender people. And those stats are sobering: “Fifty-one percent of transgender male adolescents reported at least one suicide attempt — the highest rate in the study. The second highest was among young people who are nonbinary — those who do not identify exclusively as male or female — at 42 percent, while 30 percent of transgender female adolescents reported attempting suicide.” This is horrifying. But it’s also horrifying that, in a 2015 study of transgender people of all ages, “39 percent of respondents experienced serious psychological distress in the month prior to completing the survey,” and 40 percent had attempted suicide in their lifetime. A combination of discrimination and bias hurts trans people, as well as the inherent psychological struggles of feeling that you were “born in the wrong body.” It only takes a modicum of empathy to see what a lifelong struggle this can be. But transition is quite clearly not a panacea, even as it definitely helps many kids and teens.

“Fast-track” transitioning — some kids are brought by their parents to socially transition as early as 2 years old — has also unnerved some gay men and lesbians. The vast majority (studies range from 63 to 94 percent) of gender dysphoric kids turn out to be gay after puberty. So how can you tell which gender-dysphoric kid is gay and just needs to be left alone, and which one is trans and needs urgent treatment? Since the brain doesn’t fully develop until you’re 25, how do we ever truly know who’s really trans and who’s gay before then?

With gays, mercifully, you don’t have to make any early, irreversible decisions. They need no medical intervention. They can simply figure it out for themselves over time. With trans kids, it’s a whole different story. Social transition is one thing. Off-label puberty blockers and irreversible hormones and surgeries are quite another. And this is zero-sum. All the women I spoke with who detransitioned now date women or don’t date at all. Their transition was based entirely on how they felt at the moment, which they now regard as a false signal about their long-term identity. Which prompts the question: How much of the extraordinary surge in transgender girls is related to their discomfort with being a lesbian? What role does homophobia play in enabling transition?

To be honest, I don’t know how we solve this problem. Every child is different and unique. His or her gender dysphoria may be due to sexual orientation or transgender identity, or it could be part of countless comorbid other factors. This has to be a decision based on each case, with parents and therapists involved. Some kids need to be fast-tracked; many don’t. All I know for sure is that too many of these irreversible calls have been wrong ones. I know that gender dysphoria throughout childhood is one thing; sudden gender dysphoria among teenage girls is another. I also know that the ideological campaign to affirm transgender kids and teens, while admirable and, in many cases, essential and well-intentioned, also risks overreach. When the number of girls seeking to transition increases by more than 5,000 percent in less than a decade, there are bound to be false positives. (Some good news is that thoughtful clinicians are aware of these questions and are beginning to generate considered responses, like this one.)

What we need is an open debate about what’s best for gender dysphoric children and teens. Questioning the current orthodoxy is not transphobic, as so many reflexively charge. No one, including trans people, wants to transition kids who might turn out to be cis (and often gay and lesbian). Equally, we don’t want to prevent genuinely trans kids from having treatment and care. This balance is hard. But because of that, waiting and seeing if a gender dysphoric child or teen really is trans before making irreversible decisions seems to me to be the right call. Ditto requiring several broad-ranging therapy sessions for teens before they make the jump — as opposed to swift affirmation and handing out testosterone like candy. And setting up studies that can tell us definitively how rare or common detransitioning is, and whether puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones damage kids and teens in the long term is essential. Right now, we are effectively experimenting on minors who cannot give meaningful consent. And that alone should give us pause.
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan

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