Love is all it takes to make a family

[Scooter]

First gay throuple to be legally named dads say life is ‘remarkably ordinary’: ‘People think it’s about a ton of sex’

The first gay throuple to be legally named as their children’s fathers on their birth certificates have said their life is “remarkably ordinary”.

Ian Jenkins, Alan Mayfield and Jeremy Allen Hodges were all successfully listed on their daughter Piper’s birth certificate in 2017 after a historic intervention by a California court.

They recently had a second child, called Parker, which prompted Jenkins to open up about their experience of parenthood in a new book called Three Dads and a Baby.

“The fact that Piper has three parents is just not a big deal,” Jenkins writes in an excerpt of the book in the New York Post.

“I have three parents myself – my mother, father and stepmother – and no one thinks anything of it.

“Some people seem to think it’s about a ton of sex or something, or we’re unstable and must do crazy things. [But] it’s really remarkably ordinary and domestic in our house and definitely not Tiger King,” he adds, referencing the hit Netflix documentary.

Jenkins goes on to write about the challenges he and his partners faced in having children, including the exorbitant legal fees.

He notes that “gay couples don’t stumble into parenthood by accident”, and that it can be both expensive and complicated.

The men finally won the right to have all three fathers named on Piper’s birth certificate shortly before her birth. If their legal battle had failed, one of the dads would have had to face the heartbreaking reality of being a legal nobody to his daughter.

The throuple recently appeared on The Morning Show on Australia’s Channel 7 where they discussed raising an unconventional family.

In that interview, Jenkins revealed he wanted to speak out about their experience so other families who fall outside the norm know that they too can fight for better legal protections.

The throuple first got together when Ian met Alan, and they later met Jeremy. They decided to start a family together when a friend of Jeremy’s offered to give them embryos.

Those embryos didn’t end up taking, but the experience helped the men realise how badly they wanted to have children.

To their kids, Alan is known as Dada, Ian is Papa and Jeremy is Daddy.

“The big challenge for us was really the legal challenges, so with surrogacy, you have to have a parentage order from the court declaring who are going to be the legal parents,” Alan explained.

“In the beginning we weren’t sure that we could have all three of us on the brith certificate so it became a court process where we argued in court.

“It was a pretty interesting, tense courtroom scene where at first it seemed like we were not going to be granted that, and we asked to speak in court and plead our viewpoint, and the judge ultimately changed her mind and granted us legal parentage of our child before she was born.”

I can imagine worse things for children than having three loving parents caring for them under the same roof.

[Gob]

Good for them.

[Bicycle Bill]

Three fathers, but no mention whatsoever about the mother who carried little Piper to term.   Apparently to these three 'men' (and I'm using the term very freely), she is little more than a broodmare so far as they are concerned.   And no one else thinks there is something haywire here?

It is my contention that the world is going totally fucking nuts and it's only a matter of time before the inmates are in full control of the asylum.   I always thought that I'd kick the bucket before that happens, but crap like this shows that right now it looks like the best I can hope for is a dead heat.

-"BB"-

[Scooter]

Three fathers, but no mention whatsoever about the mother who carried little Piper to term.

She was never going to be in the picture, which is the way it works with almost any sperm or egg donor, or surrogate. Do you have some principled objection to artificial insemination involving a donor, or could there be something about this case specifically that is setting your hair on fire?

[Big RR]

I can imagine worse things for children than having three loving parents caring for them under the same roof.

I was thinking the same thing. I understand the concerns about surrogacy, and believe the law still hasn't caught up with the reality of the situation.but it is a way of forming a family that works for some. It's not for everyone, but then neither is adoption (open or not) or guardianship. I fail to see it as any evidence of the inmates running the asylum.

[Jarlaxle]

Billy is just a shitlord.

[BoSoxGal]

My father is one of five siblings, but he didn’t know that until he was in his 40s. His whole childhood and early adulthood he didn’t know that his first cousin was actually his sister. She was the third baby born to his parents, and his parents gave her at birth to his paternal uncle and his wife, who hadn’t been able to have a child. I can’t begin to imagine the conversations around that between my grandparents. There were no lawyers or any other bureaucratic hoops involved - back in those days lots of folks still had babies at home and didn’t see any doctors in the immediate aftermath, so I imagine lots of families were made in strange ways long before it became a matter of public record and technology allowed it to happen more often between strangers.

Given all I’ve learned about the miserable lives so many kids live in the homes of their cisgender heterosexual ‘parents’, I just can’t get my knickers in a twist over some folks who really want to love and nurture a child having that chance. If it took that much work for most folks to get a baby, the high bar would probably weed out a lot of crappy people who aren’t really fit to parent but can drop babies like rabbits drop kits. Life is brutally unfair.

[Scooter]

[Joe Guy]

I think it's a good thing. The children have a better chance of being cared for. They could end up having a deadbeat dad and still have two in reserve.

[Bicycle Bill]

He also had a mother throughout his lifetime.

... but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.
When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!”
Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!”   And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.
.....John 19:25-27 (ESV)

-"BB"-

[Big RR]

Yeah, but that was a strange relationship; he thought she was still a virgin.

[ex-khobar Andy]

I didn't know she was still a virgin at the time of the whole cross thing. I must not have been paying attention.

[BoSoxGal]

Jesus had four brothers and an indeterminate number of sisters - half siblings by his mother and Joseph. This is mentioned several times in the Bible and there is theological scholarship addressing it.

[Jarlaxle]

Most prominent being, IIRC, James.

[Big RR]

I didn't know she was still a virgin at the time of the whole cross thing. I must not have been paying attention.

Depends what religion you listen to; I believe some Christians, including the the Roman Catholics believe that she remained a virigin for her entire life. The siblings referred t by BSG are believed to be either half siblings (by Joseph from an earlier marriage) or cousins. At least that is what I understand is believed by some Christians. Others believe she remained a virgin until after the birth of Jesus, still others entirely reject the concept of a virgin birth (and believed the use of the term in the scriptures means something else. So you can take your pick.

[Gob]

I still think Frodo Baggins and Sam Gamgee were gay.

We're talking about fantasy fiction, right?

[MajGenl.Meade]

They had some unusual hobbits

[Sue U]

They had some unusual hobbits

[Burning Petard]

"I believe some Christians, including the the Roman Catholics believe that she remained a virigin for her entire life. The siblings referred to by BSG are believed to be either half siblings (by Joseph from an earlier marriage) or cousins. At least that is what I understand is believed by some Christians. "

Yes, perhaps by some Christians, But that is not the official teaching of the Roman Catholic church. See the five volume work by the New Testament professor at Notre Dame University, Father John Meier, titled " A Marginal Jew: Rethinking the Historical Jesus" Each volume includes the Imprimatur, which means it is consistent both as a whole and in detail, with the teaching of the RC Church. Prof Meier supports the interpretation of the various scriptures references to mean they are full siblings, not cousins, and not from an earlier family of Joseph. Prof. Meier is behind schedule a bit. The sixth volume was announced to be published in the fall of 2020. I am still waiting. On the other hand, it was originally announced to be just three volumes.

snailgate

[Big RR]

BP--I don't know abut that publication, but see the attached link:

https://catholic-link.org/the-four-mari ... explained/

this shows the perpetual virginity of Mary as a dogma (divinely revealed truth) of the RC Church; I am certain there are those who disagree, but as I recall (from helping friends with their catechism), that this is a basic tenet of the RC faith (like Jesus being divine incarnate or the immaculate conception of Mary).

Perhaps Fr. Meier finds a way to reconcile perpetual virginity of Mary with the idea of the full siblings (actually, they would be half siblings to Jesus as they would have a different father) as he presents it? Or perhaps he disputes the perpetual virginity, if dogmatic principles can be disputed by the priests in the church (and I really don't know if it can). I'll have to look at it one day; it sounds interesting.

ETA: Or perhaps Meier is writing as a historian and only attesting to what we have multiple sources for; there are biblical and other sources for Jesus' life chronicles and he may be looking at what can be shown in multiple accounts, without disputing the catholic teachings that are based on faith? Or at least saying that so writings would not be heretical?