Do Lesbians Really Exist?
Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 5:22 pm
The 25th anniversary of the movie, “Top Gun” and stories about the more recent lives of its “stars” have brought my attention again to the relatively recent declaration by the twice-married female lead in the film, Kelly McGillis, that she has “come out” as a lesbian. A few years ago, similar stories were printed about the actress known occasionally as Meredith Baxter. Adding spice to these two announcements was the fact that both of them had been “sexy babes” in their younger years – that is to say, the object of much sexual admiration by men.
What exactly does it mean when they now say they are lesbians? Did they change? Did they finally admit that they were living a lie? Did they recently discover something about themselves?
None of the above.
On the other side of the Great Divide, there are men who, for one reason or another, have mis-directed libido’s, causing them to have the same kind of “horny” reactions to “attractive” males that normal males have to attractive women. These reactions can be – and often are - psychological, physiological, and emotional. Specifically, when a normal man encounters, for example, a young woman who looks like Gwynneth Paltrow, he will likely make positive assumptions about her personality and her intelligence; he may have an instantaneous physical reaction to her propinquity (get a “woodie”), and one might suspect that he might even “fall in love” with her, given even the least amount of encouragement from her. Without question, he will consider what it would be like to copulate with her, probably even fantasizing extensively (if you know what I mean) about that unlikely eventuality.
Homosexuals can have the same sorts of reactions when encountering a man that they find attractive. Indeed, this is what it means to be homosexual. But for a normal guy, it just ain’t happenin’.
My impression is that the female side of the Great Divide is quite a bit different. Correct me if I’m wrong.
In the normal case, a woman who encounters a man whom she considers to be attractive does not instantly have a desire to copulate with that man. She may imagine sharing other affectionate acts and experiences with the “object of her affection,” but copulation is not the first thing that comes to mind. Indeed, were it not for the (desirable?) prospect of having children, many -, if not most – women could live with a long-term relationship with an “attractive” man that involved some intimacy and lots of acts of affection, but NO sex, and be perfectly satisfied with that. How many women would have gladly had “platonic” relationships with Rock Hudson? (That concept is unthinkable to a man, gay or straight).
And our culture has evolved to a point where the heterosexual relationships that are generally available to single adult women (let’s say, over 30) are uniformly unacceptable. Adult single men (assuming such things exist) are selfish, unclean, uncouth, and uncaring, yet they expect sexual intercourse as a virtual quid pro quo for their time and attentions. And there is no guarantee whatsoever that the sexual intercourse will be the least bit gratifying to the woman. And the longer a relationship goes on, the more the woman is taken for granted and the less satisfying the relationship becomes. Take away the cultural and psychological “need” for a “secure relationship,” and there is no reason whatsoever for an adult woman to even consider consorting with her male counterparts. All the desirable men are off the market by the time they are 35.
So you are Kelly McGillis. You are two-or-three-times divorced. You are getting older and are not as attractive as you used to be to men; the heterosexual relationships that present themselves are conspicuously undesirable. In fact, you see no reason to play that particular game any more.
But you still crave “love” and affection (as any human does), and find that the people you have most in common with – the people with whom you could have the most fulfilling overall relationships at this time of life – are other women about your age. Sex is not really a part of the equation, but it would not be too repulsive to engage in an occasional session of mutual masturbation, in order to achieve some well-deserved sexual gratification. There is nothing wrong with the Parts, after all.
Lesbians? “Out of the closet”? I don’t buy it.
There is, I submit, no equivalence on the two sides of the Great Divide. Homosexuals are actively, sexually attracted to other men. But lesbians are more defined by a lack of attraction to men and a desire to seek “love” and affection “someplace else.” Sexual attraction to people of the same gender is not the defining aspect of lesbianism as it is for homosexuality, and in may not even be present in most “lesbians.” Lesbians experience a personal attraction, seasoned by the prospect of occasional sex play. That’s it.
Lesbian is not the equal counterpart of homosexual. They are completely different orientations, united only by abnormality and bizarre social organizations on college campi.
What exactly does it mean when they now say they are lesbians? Did they change? Did they finally admit that they were living a lie? Did they recently discover something about themselves?
None of the above.
On the other side of the Great Divide, there are men who, for one reason or another, have mis-directed libido’s, causing them to have the same kind of “horny” reactions to “attractive” males that normal males have to attractive women. These reactions can be – and often are - psychological, physiological, and emotional. Specifically, when a normal man encounters, for example, a young woman who looks like Gwynneth Paltrow, he will likely make positive assumptions about her personality and her intelligence; he may have an instantaneous physical reaction to her propinquity (get a “woodie”), and one might suspect that he might even “fall in love” with her, given even the least amount of encouragement from her. Without question, he will consider what it would be like to copulate with her, probably even fantasizing extensively (if you know what I mean) about that unlikely eventuality.
Homosexuals can have the same sorts of reactions when encountering a man that they find attractive. Indeed, this is what it means to be homosexual. But for a normal guy, it just ain’t happenin’.
My impression is that the female side of the Great Divide is quite a bit different. Correct me if I’m wrong.
In the normal case, a woman who encounters a man whom she considers to be attractive does not instantly have a desire to copulate with that man. She may imagine sharing other affectionate acts and experiences with the “object of her affection,” but copulation is not the first thing that comes to mind. Indeed, were it not for the (desirable?) prospect of having children, many -, if not most – women could live with a long-term relationship with an “attractive” man that involved some intimacy and lots of acts of affection, but NO sex, and be perfectly satisfied with that. How many women would have gladly had “platonic” relationships with Rock Hudson? (That concept is unthinkable to a man, gay or straight).
And our culture has evolved to a point where the heterosexual relationships that are generally available to single adult women (let’s say, over 30) are uniformly unacceptable. Adult single men (assuming such things exist) are selfish, unclean, uncouth, and uncaring, yet they expect sexual intercourse as a virtual quid pro quo for their time and attentions. And there is no guarantee whatsoever that the sexual intercourse will be the least bit gratifying to the woman. And the longer a relationship goes on, the more the woman is taken for granted and the less satisfying the relationship becomes. Take away the cultural and psychological “need” for a “secure relationship,” and there is no reason whatsoever for an adult woman to even consider consorting with her male counterparts. All the desirable men are off the market by the time they are 35.
So you are Kelly McGillis. You are two-or-three-times divorced. You are getting older and are not as attractive as you used to be to men; the heterosexual relationships that present themselves are conspicuously undesirable. In fact, you see no reason to play that particular game any more.
But you still crave “love” and affection (as any human does), and find that the people you have most in common with – the people with whom you could have the most fulfilling overall relationships at this time of life – are other women about your age. Sex is not really a part of the equation, but it would not be too repulsive to engage in an occasional session of mutual masturbation, in order to achieve some well-deserved sexual gratification. There is nothing wrong with the Parts, after all.
Lesbians? “Out of the closet”? I don’t buy it.
There is, I submit, no equivalence on the two sides of the Great Divide. Homosexuals are actively, sexually attracted to other men. But lesbians are more defined by a lack of attraction to men and a desire to seek “love” and affection “someplace else.” Sexual attraction to people of the same gender is not the defining aspect of lesbianism as it is for homosexuality, and in may not even be present in most “lesbians.” Lesbians experience a personal attraction, seasoned by the prospect of occasional sex play. That’s it.
Lesbian is not the equal counterpart of homosexual. They are completely different orientations, united only by abnormality and bizarre social organizations on college campi.
