Plan B Forum

An Advice column in a local newspaper carried a letter from a 15-year-old girl from a religious family. Some time ago her "family" had given her - and she had enthusiastically accepted - a silver ring which symbolized her commitment to remain a virgin until her marriage. You know what's coming.

At a recent party, a boy she liked showed some interest, and the evening ended with the two of them doing the old "in & out."

"I don't know how this happened."

Right.

The girl wants to renew that commitment, still endorses and feels bound by it, but, it would appear, she ain't a virgin no more. What to do?

In any event...

That is not the point I'd like to explore with this thread, but it is related. My question to the board is, Why not fcuk?

Historically, the main reason why girls were told to refrain from sex was because they might get pregnant and ruin their lives. More recently, the justification has been modified to include the threat of an STD. But honestly, this is a minimal risk when you are talking about HS friends, and is undoubtedly considered no risk at all by the fcukers themselves.

So by virtue of the availability of effective Birth Control - including legal abortion - the fear of pregnancy is, if not totally gone, at least "manageable."

Why should a sexually mature young woman not have sex with anyone she likes? Taking appropriate precautions, of course. I mean, let's face it, it's fun, it's easy, and it might even make you more popular!

And use arguments that a teenage girl would find understandable and credible.

Inquiring minds want to hear it.

As a neurotically-obsessive Catholic Conservative (who has never had a daughter), my approach would be to talk about the "special" nature of marriage, or at least the need to restrict sexual intimacy to committed relationships. Not saying she would buy it, but that would be my approach. I might also threaten to dis-own her and put an "A" tattoo on her forehead if I ever found out she was being promiscuous. But that's just me.

outercourse?

dgs49 wrote:As a . . . (who has never had a daughter)

That explains soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!

dgs49 wrote:
Why should a sexually mature young woman not have sex with anyone she likes? Taking appropriate precautions, of course. I mean, let's face it, it's fun, it's easy, and it might even make you more popular!

And use arguments that a teenage girl would find understandable and credible.

Inquiring minds want to hear it.

Change that to "emotionally mature" and you have a deal. Sex is about more than the physical act.

Gobster, my understanding of "emotionally mature" is, "able to make a personal commitment."

When do youngsters reach this point in your part of the world?

In the u.s., it is somewhere between 25 and retirement.

Guin,
Based on my informal survey, men WITH daughters have no idea how to communicate with young women either, so my lack of female progeny doesn't break me out from the masses.

dgs49 wrote:Gobster, my understanding of "emotionally mature" is, "able to make a personal commitment."

When do youngsters reach this point in your part of the world?

From my perspective, rather than "in my part of the" world, somewhere between 18 and 22 years old is the norm for reaching sufficient emotional maturity in order to enjoy a sex life and some sexual adventure..

Think "pre-frontal cortex" vs. "gonads".

dales wrote:Think "pre-frontal cortex" vs. "gonads".

LMAO

That's a mis-match if ever there was one.

Along the lines of Justin Bieber vs Mike Tyson

Why not write 'fuck' if you mean fuck?

What is all this French Connection Unity Kingdom shite for?

If you mean it, say it. It is only a word.

He's just acting the cnut...

Sean wrote:He's just acting the cnut...

dgs49 wrote:Guin,
Based on my informal survey, men WITH daughters have no idea how to communicate with young women either, so my lack of female progeny doesn't break me out from the masses.

Having to live with and being exposed to a daughter would advance your understanding of the gender a thousandfold.

Considering another aspect of it, I've lived with my wife since 1973; by all indications she was a "girl" at one time, and she doesn't understand them either.

But since you imply that you have some knowledge in this area, why not respond to my initial question rather than making snide comments?

I agree that emotional immaturity is the best reason to wait on fucking.

For most young women (even reasonably well-adjusted ones) there is profound confusion of sex with love, which generally results in emotional pain that would be avoided absent that level of intimacy.

Well said BSG, very good point.

(This one is rather "close to home" for me and Hen at present.)

Hopefully they learned the things you taught them BEFORE they reach the teen years because once teens, you become the stupidist people on earth who know nothing about being a teenager. Then, magically, when they reach their twenties, you start getting smart again.

If only they understood:

Boys give affection because they want sex; girls give sex because they want affection.

Oh for Christ's sake. Do you *really* believe that crap?

Still you have not learned that females have sexual desire, all in and of itself, and act on that desire, too. Nor have you learned that the male of the species is and can be an affectionate creature in the absence of sexual desire.

I honestly feel sorry for you Dave. It seems as if your life and experiences are rather lacking in love, in all its many forms.

the male of the species is and can be an affectionate creature in the absence of sexual desire.

I can attest to that given my recent prostate problems and continuing testosterone problems.