Ladies, Want Bigger Breasts? Pay a Thai Woman a Lot of Money To Slap Your Boobs!
By Luis Prada
FunnyCrave
Hey, here’s a weird question: have you ever wanted to punch a tit? Like, when you’re looking at a pair of voluptuous bosoms, do you ever feel the sudden urge to give them suckers an stern wallop with an open palm? Perhaps many times over, just ‘cause?
Probably not. You’re probably a regular person that, when confronted with breasts, does not feel the need to start an impromptu titty Fight Club.
Strangely enough, this type of non-titty punching outlook on life does not exist in Thailand, where you ladies out there can pay a woman to punch your tits in to a bigger cup size.
Meet Khemmikka Na Songkhla…
As you may have seen in the video, Khemmikka likes to punch your back fat in to your tits, which sounds like an odd threat you’d hear in a drunken brawl between to beefy female pugilists. It’s not only back fat, it’s all your fat. Instead of going under the knife and having your fat shifted around by a surgeon with years of training and a careful hand, Khemmikka karate chops your face, neck, sides, and, of course, boobs, until they get bigger. Apparently, her patients actually do see results, but whether those results are from the shifting of fat or from the swelling and bruising that comes from getting punched in the tits for extended periods of time by a woman that looks like some kind of parrot goddess remains to be seen.
At one point in the video, things get even sillier when one of Khemmikka’s students starts talking about why she likes to slap people across the face for health reasons. At that point it seems like a pro-abuse PSA, or a late night infomercial promoting domestic violence. You heard her testimonial, “it is a one-million percent natural beauty treatment.” Sure, rubbing creams on your face and rubbing various oils and such on your sink does a decent job of making you look better, but those methods are so old timey and lack a certain getting-pummeled-with-frantic-angry-Asian-fists quality that you can only get when your face and/or tits get pummeled with frantic, angry Asian fists.
If I were a woman that was not blessed with much the breast department, I would wonder how many times I have to get my tits throttled before I look like Christina Hendricks.
Look at her! She must have had the shit beaten out of her.
If you want to look like Christina Hendricks, there’s probably some sort of gang-style jump-in punchfest consisting of multiple assailants, fractured eye sockets, and, ultimately, high self-esteem.
So, ladies: are you willing to get punched for the sake of beauty?
Also, and this is kind of a non-sequitur, how much longer do you think we have to wait until we receive news from Thailand about how black eyes, bruised tits, and just generally looking like a rape victim are all the rage?
