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Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 11:04 pm
by Gob
The thing I love about Scotch whisky, apart from drinking it, is the modest sense of superiority associated with drinking it.
You see, Scotch is a serious beverage often being served in a very grown up cut-crystal glass. And ordering a whisky is a statement of intent in any bar – it says you have sophisticated tastes but without the snobbery that often accompanies wine aficionados. The whisky drinker is self-assured and making it in the world – but is not too precious to rub shoulders and share a yarn at a busy bar.
Another great thing about whisky is that there is plenty of room for bluffing. Order a malt and you're half way there. Becoming a whisky drinker and in turn a more distinguished member of society can be achieved with a relatively small amount of knowledge. It's my hope to arm you with this lore here and set you on a path to discovering this delightful grain spirit.
What is whisky?
Whisky is spirituous liquor distilled from fermented cereal grains, aged and often blended.
The word whisky is derived from the Scottish Gaelic uisge beatha which literally translates as 'water of life'. As a 15th century Scot would have been near on impossible for an Englishman to understand (let alone one dosed up on uisge beatha), the term was anglicised to whiskybae before eventually being shortened to whisky.
What is 'single malt' Scotch whisky?
Originally all Scotch whisky was made from malted barley (the same grain used in most beer around the globe), but as commercial realities set in other grains like wheat and rye were introduced.
The huge majority of Scotch whisky on the global market today is blended Scotch whisky – a mixture of whiskies from different distilleries made from malted barley and other grains. This isn't necessarily a bad thing – blending whisky has been a big business since the early 19th century and it takes quite a lot of skill to make a consistent house style of the quality of Johnnie Walker or Chivas Regal.
Single malts, as the name suggests however, are all malt whiskies produced by batch distillation in old fashioned pot stills coming from a singular distillery. Blending is still often involved. Different barrels, depending on the wood type, their condition, and their position in the aging warehouse will alter the flavour profile of the spirit considerably over an extended period of aging. For a distillery to produce a consistent house style they must employ a blender. The distillery will draw on stocks from different years to produce their bottling. The age statement on the label (if there is one) is the youngest malt in the bottle.
A word on peat
An important determining factor on the flavour of the whisky coating your glass comes from how your barley was 'malted'. To malt barley it must first be soaked in water for a time to germinate. This releases enzymes that break down starches in the grain to convert them into sugar. Once the desired level of germination has been achieved the barley must be dried using heated air. Many distillers use peat – fuel dug from bogs – to provide the heat needed for malting. This also imparts a smoked, earthy and medicinal quality to the resultant malt whisky.
How to order a whisky
There's no right or wrong way to order a whisky – however you enjoy drinking the stuff is how you should order it. When dishing out big bucks on a single malt however you should consider trying it neat before adding anything to it. Should your malt need a little taming add a few drops of still cool (not chilled) water down the side of your glass. This will lower the proof a little and allow the flavours to 'open-up' a little. If it's still a little rough by all means add a lump of ice.
Talking about whisky
When talking about the flavour of a whisky there's really very little you can say wrong. Say the first thing that comes to your mind should you be put on the spot – your nose and sense of taste is as good as anyone else's. It really comes down to vocabulary. For example; a peaty whisky that you might describe as smelling 'medical' can also be described as having aromas of iodine, seaweed, bracken and bandages.
If in doubt about flavours and aromas start using more abstract terms like inimitable, ethereal, unmistakeable, and penetrating. You can also talk about the structure of a whisky and how well it is put together. For example, I referred to a Japanese single malt I was drinking the other night as impeccably balanced like layers of finely honed folded steel – a katana compared to the claymore of a Scotch whisky my companion was drinking.
In sum, bluffing your way in whisky is all about a confident delivery.
Read more:
http://www.smh.com.au/executive-style/t ... z1wm3zl6BM
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 11:38 pm
by Lord Jim
In sum, bluffing your way in whisky is all about a confident delivery.
As is so much in life...

Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 11:42 pm
by rubato
Affecting a taste in scotch whiskey is one of the most pathetic forms of phony sophistication known to human kind.
I like it, mind you, but enjoying Lagavulin (et al) is no level of sophistication worthy of the name.
yrs,
rubato
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 12:01 am
by Gob
I agree with rubato; inasmuch as acquiring a palate for enjoying any drink, from coffee to wine to tea to Whisky is a good thing, the pretense of owning one is not.
Or is that not what he was saying?

Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 12:05 am
by Lord Jim
Affecting a taste in scotch whiskey is one of the most pathetic forms of phony sophistication known to human kind.
Oh I don't know...
I'd say pretending to have a knowledge of topics about which one has repeatedly demonstrated a singular and embarrassing level of ignorance...(say history, religion, and economics for example...to name but a few...)
Would represent a
far more "pathetic form of phony sophistication...."
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 12:14 am
by Gob
What? Like trying to lecture a person with a 30+ year involvement in Sherlockian lore and who owns a massive collection of Sherlockian items (including the original Strand magazines,) on the subject, or telling a mountaineer and rock climber that the highest rock face in the world is in the USA, or telling someone that the cervical cancer vaccine (developed by a Scot in Australia) was a gift to the world from America, or telling someone who has lived and studied martial arts in Japan that you know more about the country and its traditions and codes as you visited a Shinto temple in California as a child?
That the sort of “phony sophistication” thing you mean Jim?
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 12:20 am
by Lord Jim
Well, speaking entirely hypothetically of course Strop, (and not aiming that at anyone in particular...) I would say those would represent good examples...
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 12:05 am
by rubato
Gob wrote:What? Like trying to lecture a person with a 30+ year involvement in Sherlockian lore and who owns a massive collection of Sherlockian items (including the original Strand magazines,) on the subject, or telling a mountaineer and rock climber that the highest rock face in the world is in the USA, or telling someone that the cervical cancer vaccine (developed by a Scot in Australia) was a gift to the world from America, or telling someone who has lived and studied martial arts in Japan that you know more about the country and its traditions and codes as you visited a Shinto temple in California as a child?
That the sort of “phony sophistication” thing you mean Jim?
Lying richly and elaborately does not an argument make.
You're pathetic.
yrs,
rubato
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 12:10 am
by rubato
I had not mentioned this as a US-invention before (that is one of your lies) but it appears that 3 of 4 institutions are in the US (another one of your lies)
weak sister.
________________________
History
In work that was initiated in the mid 1980s, the vaccine was developed, in parallel, by researchers at Georgetown University Medical Center, the University of Rochester, the University of Queensland in Australia, and the U.S. National Cancer Institute.[72] In 2006, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the first preventive HPV vaccine, marketed by Merck & Co. under the trade name Gardasil. According to a Merck press release,[73] in the second quarter of 2007, it had been approved in 80 countries, many under fast-track or expedited review. Early in 2007, GlaxoSmithKline filed for approval in the United States for a similar preventive HPV vaccine, known as Cervarix. In June 2007 this vaccine was licenced in Australia, and it was approved in the European Union in September 2007.[74] Cervarix was approved for use in the U.S. in October 2009.[75]
________________________
yrs,
rubato
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 12:12 am
by rubato
Only pathetic losers think that some acquaintance with scottish whiskey is a form of sophistication.
yrs,
rubato
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 12:20 am
by Gob
Which no one has done, only pathetic losers think that calling others pathetic losers is some form of worthwhile comment.
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 12:31 am
by Gob
rubato wrote:I had not mentioned this as a US-invention before (that is one of your lies) but it appears that 3 of 4 institutions are in the US (another one of your lies)
Unfortunately I do not have access to the thread I started on the CSB about the roll out of the free vaccine in Aus, and how my daughter was to receive it, the one to which you replied, and I think I am quoting this verbatim;
"You should thank America for giving it to you."
Given what you yourself have posted, and seeing a the medication was developed by an Israeli, a German and a Scot, with the final work and breakthrough happening in Aus, now who would be so stupid , gauche and a “pathetic loser" so as to try and claim some reflected glory, by wrongly claiming
"America gave it to the world"? There is only one person who uses this website who would be so childish, trite, and wonderfully wrong as to do that, and that's you.
But thanks for the opportunity to laugh at you again.
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 3:30 am
by dales
As long as one can get drunk on the stuff, who cares?

Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 3:56 am
by Sean
You can get drunk on the vaccine too?
Well that one was definitely developed by a Jock!
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 11:40 pm
by Gob
Nice drop of wine anyone?
The world's most expensive bottle of wine has gone on sale for a staggering £109,000 - making the cost of just one small 150ml glass of this rare tipple a bank-breaking £21,000.
Australian winery Penfolds has released 12 special bottles of the 2004 Block 42’ Cabernet Sauvignon - a rare single-vineyard wine which is only released in stellar vintages.
The Block 42 vines were transported from France to Australia in the 1830s and are now located in South Australia's Barossa Valley, northeast of Adelaide.

Penfolds said the vines are thought to be the oldest continuously producing Cabernet Sauvignon vines in the world.
Penfolds chief winemaker Peter Gago said: 'There is something really magical about the 2004 Block 42 Kalimna Cabernet.
'It has an ethereal dimension and a saturated blackness on the palate, it's extraordinarily perfumed with layer upon layer of flavour.'
The rare vintage has been encased in specially-designed hand-blown 'ampoule' by famous Australian glass artist Nick Mount. The ampoule has no cork or screw cap, and can only be opened by a trained wine expert.
Apart from Mount, scientific glassblower Ray Leake was employed to fashion the ampoule, while silversmith Hendrik Forster added the silver bands and cap to the ornament and cabinet maker Andrew Bartlett designed and made the accompanying jarrah wood cabinet.
The ampoule is designed to provide the ideal environment for the wine - and even the most cavalier of millionaires cannot just whip the top off the bottle and quaff the contents.
Penfolds’ chief winemaker Peter Gago said that if any buyer wished to drink the exclusive wine, an expert would travel to wherever the buyer was in the world and open and decant the ampoule using bespoke equipment in a special ceremony.
He said: 'The Ampoule Project is typical of the pioneering philosophy behind Penfolds’ winemaking evolution.
'The collaboration with South Australia’s finest artists has been a fitting tribute for one of South Australia’s finest wines.'
A normal (albeit limited-edition) bottle of the 2004 Block 42 costs around £400.
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 8:57 pm
by rubato
That classic aphorism of commerce:
Shiny Shit Sells.
yrs,
rubato
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 4:34 am
by loCAtek
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 8:41 am
by The Hen
The only whisk(e)y I am interested in is Heston's Whisk(e)y Gums.

Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 2:56 pm
by dgs49
Many, many years ago, I was visiting my married sister and watching her prepare her ritual morning glass of Scotch & water. I asked if I could taste it. It was horrible, a fact that I rapidly expressed to my sister. She acknowledged the truth of it.
I asked, "Why do you drink this shit?"
She responded, "To get drunk."
The concept of an "acquired taste" is one that sometimes denotes nothing of value. Forcing oneself to drink this vile brew so that one day you might gain a tolerance for it, and consider yourself better for it, strikes me as something quite close to stupidity.
But then again, not having acquired a taste for it, I don't suppose I can say for certain.
Re: Bluffers guide to Whisky.
Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 3:21 am
by BoSoxGal
When my friend Linda passed away, I drank a toast of 20 year old single malt with her son & daughter in law. It was smoky and peaty and if I were inclined, I could develop a taste for the stuff.
I prefer a nice glass of Cab any day of the week - but the tannins trigger migraines, so anymore I'm a beer gal who mostly lives sober.