Bridal Shower Redefined

[dgs49]

When I was young, most married couples were coming directly from their respective parents' households. As a result, when they first set up housekeeping they needed a lot of little things like flatware, towels, pots & pans, etc. These things were seldom given as wedding gifts, so the idea of the "Bridal Shower" was born. The female friends and relatives of the bride would throw her a party, and everyone would bring an inexpensive gift of something that the couple would need when they first set up housekeeping.

Fast forward 40 years.

Now most engaged couples have either been living together already, or at least one of them has been out on his own for a period of years, and they already have the kinds of household items that used to be given at bridal showers. So bridal shower GIFTS have largely evolved into more expensive, luxury-type items like a place setting of the Bride's chosen set of fine China, or an expensive food processor, or an espresso maker.

Some women have grown - shall we say - a bit resentful of the expense of it, and the tedium of watching the prospective bride open each present in front of the group, and comment on each - a process which can take hours.

A few recent showers in my neck of the woods have instructed the guests to bring their gifts UNWRAPPED, and to place them on display tables with identifying cards, so that the shower-goers can look at them (or not) at their leisure. The party is then actually a party, where people can enjoy themselves for 90 or 120 minutes, without having to endure the tedium of the opening the gifts.

By why leave the men out of it?

Yesterday, I attended a "Couples' Shower," at which a hundred or so couples each brought an unwrapped gift and placed it with an identifying card on one of several display tables. It was held at a Country (golf) Club. There was an open bar and socializing for an hour and a half, followed by a three-course sit-down dinner. All with live entertainment. Parenthetically, I will mention that the couple has been living together for three years and own a home. The groom is a doctor-in-residency, and the bride recently completed her graduate course of study to be a physician's assistant.

There was a "head table," where the future bride & groom were seated along with the rest of the wedding party, in casual attire. A minimalist "ceremony" was held during which everyone at the head table was introduced, and the parents and grandparents of the Happy Couple were asked to stand and be applauded. And Oh Yeah, they thanked us for coming and for our "wonderful" gifts.

Lacking only a priest, this event was nicer than most of the weddings I have attended over the past 40 years. I can only imagine what the actual wedding will be like.

WTF?

There was no rational reason to have this shower. The Happy Couple needed NOTHING, and to "shower them with gifts," which is the essence of a "shower," was absurd. Coming from relatively wealthy families (both are debt-free) they are already better off financially than most of the people who attended. This was nothing more than an ostentatious preview of the wedding.

I personally have the happy coincidence of a neice/God-child getting married on the same day in September as this couple, so I can simply send a check for "$25" and not have to endure the outrageous spectacle that this wedding will undoubtedly be.

I have become my father.

[Gob]

A few recent showers in my neck of the woods have instructed the guests to bring their gifts UNWRAPPED, and to place them on display tables with identifying cards, so that the shower-goers can look at them (or not) at their leisure. The party is then actually a party, where people can enjoy themselves for 90 or 120 minutes, without having to endure the tedium of the opening the gifts.

"Get fucked", would be my reply.


"Bring your presented unwrapped and labeled so we can embarrass you into trying to spend more than each other."

I have become my father.

I know the feeling.