Just been to the quack for a regular check up. He thinks my cholesterol may be playing up, so I've got to go for a bloods test tomorrow. Fasting bloods are enough of a PITA as it is, but, with a cheeky grin on his face, he put me down for a prostate exam too.
Two scenarios;
1) Examiner will be a big butch bloke, with a digit the size and texture of a telegraph pole.
2) It'll be some drop dead gorgeous little lady, and I'll embarrass myself.
One up the bum, no harm done
One up the bum, no harm done
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
Just as long as he doesn't steady you with a hand on each shoulder you'll be good...Gob wrote:1) Examiner will be a big butch bloke, with a digit the size and texture of a telegraph pole.
Why is it that when Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it's 'art' and 'edgy' but when I do it I'm 'drunk' and 'banned from the hardware store'?
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
Going in for that the second week of January... (Didn't see any reason to make it a part of the holidays)...he put me down for a prostate exam too.
My wife and my sister have been on my ass, (no pun intended) about this for some time....
They say it's because they love me...
(I'm convinced it's because they'd both like to see me tortured, and they've got some sort of insurance scam going....)
I've been very resistant to this, not just because it's so profoundly unpleasant...(I understand that for nearly a day in advance, I'm going to have to consume crap that is going to make my innards spin....where having uncontrollable diarrhea is a good thing...rather like eating the Queen Mum's mac and cheese...)
But because it represents a passage in life...
And not in a good way....
It's not like the first time you got laid...
It's one more step on the road to meet The Choir Invisible...
(Well, perhaps I'm being a bit over dramatic..
.)( If I don't agree to it, Lady Kelly has said she would get Tati involved...and I certainly don't want that....)
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
You're talking about a colonoscopy. Gob's talking about a finger up his bum.
There's quite a difference in preparation.
Gob will just be worried about width. You've got deeper concerns.
There's quite a difference in preparation.
Gob will just be worried about width. You've got deeper concerns.
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
Good news here.........http://www.oncologynurseadvisor.com/stu ... le/269324/
Your collective inability to acknowledge this obvious truth makes you all look like fools.
yrs,
rubato
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
What is it with straight men and all the drama about getting a finger up your ass? You'd think someone was trying to get the Hindenburg up there.
"Hang on while I log in to the James Webb telescope to search the known universe for who the fuck asked you." -- James Fell
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
I'll refrain...
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
Well, what Strop is facing is a finger up the bum....
What I'm looking at is more on the order of Roto-Rooter...
What I'm looking at is more on the order of Roto-Rooter...
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
So you'll be able to flush those troubles down the drain...
Sometimes it seems as though one has to cross the line just to figger out where it is
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
Lord Jim wrote:Well, what Strop is facing is a finger up the bum....
What I'm looking at is more on the order of Roto-Rooter...
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
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oldr_n_wsr
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Re: One up the bum, no harm done
After having a prostate cancer scare, I go every 4 months for a prostate exam. I also had a biopsy thingy which was worse than the finger, but it came back negative so I suppose it was worth it.
My doc wants me to go for a colonoscopy but with my past few years of no job, then new job (step and repeat) and insurance constantly changing I have not gone yet. Scheduled for a physical in January and I am sure he'll nag me to get one. Maybe in 2013 I'll break down and have it done. My wife went through it but then again, she went through childbirth also.
My doc wants me to go for a colonoscopy but with my past few years of no job, then new job (step and repeat) and insurance constantly changing I have not gone yet. Scheduled for a physical in January and I am sure he'll nag me to get one. Maybe in 2013 I'll break down and have it done. My wife went through it but then again, she went through childbirth also.
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
Gob, some things are best left unsaid. 
Hope things go just fine.
Hope things go just fine.
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
I have a hx of polyps so I get a colonoscopy every 5 years like it or not. Which I don't. They never get me knocked out sufficiently and I wake up before the tube is out. This can best be described and "not pleasant". The drugs they give are supposed to cause an amnesia, however I always recall every miserable second. Last time I got one I was very firm with the Doctor and told him, "make sure I stay out for the whole thing", he assured me he would be sure and give me adequate drugs to ensure I was in sleepy land for the whole trip. I didn't believe him so when the time came, me on a gurney, prepped and gowned with the IV in the back of my hand, I repeated my lecture on making sure I was given drugs in a quantity sufficient to knock me out for the whole thing. He patted my hand and said, "Don't worry, we never let the dust settle on the ambu bag in here." I got the joke. To his credit he did keep me out through the whole thing and I did not crash thus necessitating the use of the ambu bag.
Good luck Jim. Remember to have a backup plan.
Good luck Jim. Remember to have a backup plan.
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
I had a sigmoidoscopy a few weeks ago. They don't put you out or sedate you for that.
The single most miserable thing ever.
Gob you won't get any sympathy here for a mere finger up the bumber
The single most miserable thing ever.
Gob you won't get any sympathy here for a mere finger up the bumber
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
Ha, option two!
Kathy was a small, cute in a quirky sort of way, chatty little woman of about 35. Small slim fingers, and as far as I was concerned she could have kept it in all morning, and wiggled it about a bit.
And no I didn't embarrass myself by getting a hard on.
Kathy was a small, cute in a quirky sort of way, chatty little woman of about 35. Small slim fingers, and as far as I was concerned she could have kept it in all morning, and wiggled it about a bit.
And no I didn't embarrass myself by getting a hard on.
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
I'm sure the experience is different for everyone, but everyone I've talked to who have had the procedure, have had a much better experience than @w.
Including me.
The preparation is no big deal. The colonoscopy is not uncomfortable and you probably will sleep through it. But even if you don't, you feel nothing.
And the cool thing is they expect you to fart when it's all over, so you can let it rip if you want to and nobody will be offended.
I was prepared to blast away but didn't need to.
Bon voyage LJ. Take notes and post them
Including me.
The preparation is no big deal. The colonoscopy is not uncomfortable and you probably will sleep through it. But even if you don't, you feel nothing.
And the cool thing is they expect you to fart when it's all over, so you can let it rip if you want to and nobody will be offended.
I was prepared to blast away but didn't need to.
Bon voyage LJ. Take notes and post them
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oldr_n_wsr
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Re: One up the bum, no harm done
My urologist called yesterday (have an appoinment next tuesday). I have to go for another blood test as my PSA(H?) is way high again. Blood test was last saturday, guess he read the results and didn't like them. I have a history of it being high, then low then high again. No problems with peeing so I'm hoping it's just the way I am. 
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Sue U
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Re: One up the bum, no harm done
The PSA test is a terrible diagnostic tool, but it's the best one available. There are lots of things other than prostate cancer that can elevate PSA. In any event, a re-test sure beats a biopsy.
GAH!
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
I call bullshit. Have you ever awakened during a colonoscopy? I guarantee, having done so at least twice that you definitely will "feel something".The preparation is no big deal. The colonoscopy is not uncomfortable and you probably will sleep through it. But even if you don't, you feel nothing.
Maroon.
Re: One up the bum, no harm done
Good luck, I am sure it will all be fine.oldr_n_wsr wrote:My urologist called yesterday (have an appoinment next tuesday). I have to go for another blood test as my PSA(H?) is way high again. Blood test was last saturday, guess he read the results and didn't like them. I have a history of it being high, then low then high again. No problems with peeing so I'm hoping it's just the way I am.