All Creatures of Our God and King

All things philosophical, related to belief and / or religions of any and all sorts.
Personal philosophy welcomed.
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Scooter
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Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:04 pm
Location: Toronto, ON

All Creatures of Our God and King

Post by Scooter »

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.
White privilege doesn't mean your life isn't hard. It means your skin colour isn't making it harder.

What goes on in a woman's uterus is none of your fucking business.

Equal rights for others does not mean less rights for you. It's not pie.

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MajGenl.Meade
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Location: Bloemfontein

Re: All Creatures of Our God and King

Post by MajGenl.Meade »

The old ones are the best!
"I don't have dreams. Either in dreams or life."
- Bert Kibbler

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dales
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Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2010 5:13 am
Location: SF Bay Area - NORTH California - USA

Re: All Creatures of Our God and King

Post by dales »

:ok LOL! :ok

Your collective inability to acknowledge this obvious truth makes you all look like fools.


yrs,
rubato

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