Commencement Address, 2012

[dgs49]

Distinguished graduates,

It is appropriate today for you to take a bit of pride in your accomplishment of graduating from this fine institution, so take a moment to pat yourself on the back.

But keep in mind that in the Big Picture - to use a vulgar colloquialism - you don’t know shit. As a young, twenty-something recent college grad, you are not going to change the world or make it a significantly better place, at least in the short term. It will be sufficient, for the first few years, if you just don’t make it any worse. Clean up after yourself. The world is not your mother.

The most valuable commodity in life is integrity, and it doesn’t cost a dime. Tell the truth; don’t bullshit. Try hard. Respect other people – especially your family - and their possessions. Don’t waste too much of your time, and don’t waste anyone else’s time without their consent. And there is a place for loyalty in life - be loyal to your friends and relatives - but as for your employer, look out for yourself. He's looking out for himself, that's for sure.

Recognize that the mountain of "friends" you have accumulated on facebook and other social media are not truly friends. If you have a half dozen real friends in life you are a rich person indeed. Figure out who they are, and cultivate those friendships; they will come in handy later.

Nobody owes you anything. Not your parents, not the government, not your prospective employers, or society at large. You are only entitled to what you personally earn. Don’t take, damage, or destroy anything that is not YOURS.

“Fairness” is the state of being when people generally succeed by a combination of hard work, exploiting their native talents, and taking intelligent risks. The flip side is that it is also "fair" when people fail because they are lazy, stupid, and choose to do self-destructive things. Believe it or not – like it or not - life is generally fair. If you are like most college students, you have been indoctrinated to have a certain unreal understanding of the concept of “fairness.” In spite of what you have been told, there is nothing “fair” about taking money from people who earned it and giving it to those who didn’t. It might be “compassionate,” it might even be a good idea, but it’s not “fair.” Just because someone else has more stuff or money than you do, that (a) does not make them BAD, (b) does not make life unfair, and (c) does not entitle you to any more than you have earned. Don’t focus on the few people who get rich by being cheats or bastards, but the many people who succeed through merit and hard work. Those are the ones you should be watching.

You are graduating into a crappy job market, but that is the norm, so don’t feel sorry for yourself. It is a rare year when the job market is good for current-year grads. If you have to spend time living with your parents as an “adult,” keep in mind that they are NOT required to support you after college. Respect them, respect their time, respect their home and their possessions, and help out where you can. Use this time wisely and save as much money as you can. You will need it when they toss your lazy ass out on the street.

When it comes to your career ambitions, anyone who tells you not to “settle” is giving you bad advice. By all means, look for the Situation of Your Dreams, but recognize that you probably won’t find it or even if you do, someone else will probably get it. Everyone “settles,” all the time; that’s life. Get whatever position you can and make the most of it. It is better to work than not to work, just keep in mind that if you are forced to take a lousy job, you might want to find one that allows you to keep looking for something better.

There is no free lunch. Neither the Government nor any insurance company has any money. Anyone who tells you that “The Government” is paying for something is either a fool or a liar. Same for people who insist that "The Insurance Company" pays for things. Every dollar that The Government spends comes out of some taxpayers pocket, either now or in the future, and every dollar that an insurance company pays out comes out of the pockets of its customers. It is astounding how many people fail to grasp this.

One final bit of advice: Don't use graduate school as a means of delaying adulthood and responsibility. You have already wasted enough money on education.

Welcome to adulthood; Now pay off those fucking student loans!

[rubato]

It's a pity that you weren't born into a species you liked.

Maybe god made you to be a really great baboon and somethingw
Went wrong at the last minute

Damn shame.

Yes
Rubato

[Jarlaxle]

It's a pity that you weren't born into a species you liked.

Maybe god made you to be a really great baboon and somethingw
Went wrong at the last minute

Damn shame.

Yes
Rubato

Are you baked?

[oldr_n_wsr]

Seems like a very good and informative commencement speech. A lot of it sounds like things my parents taught me and what I tried to pass down to my children.