Commitment (a tangent on "Submission")

[Gob]

Bugger, spotted!

[Sean]

However I disagree, having run into/and deflected these gigolo types before. A powerful first attraction is easy; and easy to manipulate for the cavalier serial.

He is a perennial student?
Good work, if you can get it; just find a GF to support your studies in exchange for sex, and you're in like flint.

If the daughter knows she's in for just a fling, more power to her, but tell her to not get her hopes up for anything resembling long term commitment; she's just providing a service for the time being.

Alternatively, you could be doing a great disservice to somebody you know nothing about. Isn't it possible that these two young people have been lucky enough to find each other and have a long and happy future ahead of them?

[The Hen]

The romantic in me would like to think so.

[Joe Guy]

If we only go by the 'facts' as dsg wrote them, the Scot left a six year relationship for the woman.

Does that mean the woman needs to worry because this 'gigolo type' will probably leave her in six years?

[The Hen]

I left a 15 year relationship purely on speculation just to be with Gob.

Without doubt THE best move I have made.

We were meant to be together..

[Joe Guy]

We were meant to be together..

Your sig line explains how those things work out...

[Guinevere]

The romantic in me would like to think so.

I'm with HennyPenny. My swede and I were friends for over a decade, first, and then pow -- right in the kisser

[rubato]

these gigolo types

... "

An interesting side note is that the lyric "life goes on without me" was required by the censors of that time. 1930s. It still works.

yrs,
rubato

[Sean]

If we only go by the 'facts' as dsg wrote them, the Scot left a six year relationship for the woman.

Does that mean the woman needs to worry because this 'gigolo type' will probably leave her in six years?

So he should have stayed in his relationship no matter what?

The facts as dgs wrote them are sketchy at best (with no offence to dgs meant here). I am not quick to judge people without knowing a bit more about the situation. Those who have judged him, I'm glad you'll never be on my jury!

[The Hen]

Dgs: Regardless of your issues with commitment, if you do not allow your daughter to follow her heart, your relationship with her will be damaged.

Time will only show if it is irreparable.

[loCAtek]

However I disagree, having run into/and deflected these gigolo types before. A powerful first attraction is easy; and easy to manipulate for the cavalier serial.

He is a perennial student?
Good work, if you can get it; just find a GF to support your studies in exchange for sex, and you're in like flint.

If the daughter knows she's in for just a fling, more power to her, but tell her to not get her hopes up for anything resembling long term commitment; she's just providing a service for the time being.

Alternatively, you could be doing a great disservice to somebody you know nothing about. Isn't it possible that these two young people have been lucky enough to find each other and have a long and happy future ahead of them?

Possibly ...but I doubt it.

They're spending more time apart than they ever have together [He in Scotland, and she in the US] while they romanticize the ideal image of each other, rather than dealing with the day to day reality. It's not an uncommon phenomenon that happens a lot in the military. As well as in Japan, there is a rash of divorces after 'salarymen' retire and have to finally spend extended time at home with thier wives [as opposed to with thier 'bar-hostess'].

It's always easier to be apart, than be together.

As stated: if the daughter is just out having fun, and she knows it- cool.

Personally, I believe that you have to get to know someone intimately for at least two years, before you get to know the real 'them'. After that, it's hard to fake sincerity/love, and then you have to start resorting to emotional manipulation ... if you just don't honestly leave.

But 'Love at first sight'? Nah.

Lust, sure; but love takes time to grow.

[Scooter]

They're spending more time apart than they ever have together [He in Scotland, and she in the US]

they will live together while she is in school in Scotland, with the thought that if they find themselves compatible, he will return with her to the States and possibly even get a job while she goes to Med School

[loCAtek]

While at a gathering with friends the other day, one of the mutual friends related the following summary of her daughter's social situation.

While vacationing in Scotland with friends last year...


The daughter thereupon applied for a 1-year Grad program in Scotland (I won't go into the specifics).

Did the application go through?

[loCAtek]

From He's not cheesed off

4. I am working in the cheese department with my back to the counter. I hear a man and a woman talking about cheese at the cheese case.

“Do you want to get a Camembert?” the man asks.

“No.”

“How about some Oregon Blue?”

“You know what I like?” she says. “I like the Gorgonzola that is already crumbled.”

Silence.

The woman speaks again. “By the look on your face I can tell that you think that’s not very good.”

“It’s just that what I like isn’t the same as what you like. It’s not better or worse, it’s just taste.”

From this I can tell that the two of them haven’t been dating very long.

How long does one date to know your SO's cheese preferences?

[loCAtek]

I left a 15 year relationship purely on speculation just to be with Gob.

So, how long were you dating your Ex before you married him?

[loCAtek]

...because we're talking about youthful folly, here - not relationships we've had after we've learned better.

FWIW My father said to me [a year] after the divorce, 'Good! I never liked that guy!'

I wanted to say to my dad, but didn't actually, "Could you have told me that in the first place?"

[The Hen]

I left a 15 year relationship purely on speculation just to be with Gob.

So, how long were you dating your Ex before you married him?

Sixteen years.

[loCAtek]

Okay sorry, I'm trying to follow; You dated for sixteen years, then married the man for fifteen years?

[Gob]

I left a 15 year relationship purely on speculation just to be with Gob.

[The Hen]

Lo, don't worry about following anything to do with me or my past relationships.

Thanks.