Best Obituary of This – or Any Other – Year

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Bicycle Bill
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Best Obituary of This – or Any Other – Year

Post by Bicycle Bill »

Wilmington - Rick Stein, 71, of Wilmington was reported missing and presumed dead on September 27, 2018 when investigators say the single-engine plane he was piloting, The Northrop, suddenly lost communication with air traffic control and disappeared over the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Rehoboth Beach. Philadelphia police confirm Stein had been a patient at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital where he was being treated for a rare form of cancer. Hospital spokesman Walter Heisenberg says doctors from Stein's surgical team went to visit him on rounds when they discovered his room was empty. Security footage shows Stein leaving the building at approximately 3:30 Thursday afternoon, but then the video feed mysteriously cuts off. Authorities say they believe Stein took an Uber to the Philadelphia airport where they assume he somehow gained access to the aircraft.

"The sea was angry that day," said NTSB lead investigator Greg Fields in a press conference. "We have no idea where Mr. Stein may be, but any hope for a rescue is unlikely."

Stein's location isn't the only mystery. It seems no one in his life knew his exact occupation.

His daughter, Alex Walsh of Wilmington appeared shocked by the news. "My dad couldn't even fly a plane. He owned restaurants in Boulder, Colorado and knew every answer on Jeopardy. He did the New York Times crossword in pen. I talked to him that day and he told me he was going out to get some grappa. All he ever wanted was a glass of grappa."

Stein's brother, Jim echoed similar confusion. "Rick and I owned Stuart Kingston Galleries together. He was a jeweler and oriental rug dealer, not a pilot." Meanwhile, Missel Leddington of Charlottesville claimed her brother was a cartoonist and freelance television critic for the New Yorker.

David Walsh, Stein's son-in-law, said he was certain Stein was a political satirist for the Huffington Post while grandsons Drake and Sam said they believed Stein wrote an internet sports column for ESPN covering Duke basketball, FC Barcelona soccer, the Denver Broncos and the Tour de France. Stein's granddaughter Evangeline claims he was a YouTube sensation who had just signed a seven-figure deal with Netflix.

When told of his uncle's disappearance, Edward Stein said he was baffled since he believed Stein worked as a trail guide in Rocky Mountain National Park. "He took me on a hike up the Lily Peak Trail back in the 90s. He knew every berry, bush and tree on that trail." Nephew James Stein of Los Angeles claimed his uncle was an A&R consultant for Bad Boy records and ran a chain of legal recreational marijuana dispensaries in Colorado called Casablunta. Niece Courtney Stein, a former Hollywood agent, said her uncle had worked as a contributing writer for Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm and was currently consulting on a new series with Larry David.

People who knew Stein have reported his occupation as everything from gourmet chef and sommelier to botanist, electrician, mechanic and even spy novelist. Police say the volume of contradictory information will make it nearly impossible to pinpoint Stein's exact location.

In fact, the only person who might be able to answer the question, who is the real Rick Stein is his wife and constant companion for the past 14 years, Susan Stein. Detectives say they were unable to interview Mrs. Stein, however neighbors say they witnessed her leaving the home the couple shared wearing dark sunglasses and a fedora, loading multiple suitcases into her car. FAA records show she purchased a pair of one-way tickets to Rome which was Mr. Stein's favorite city. An anonymous source with the airline reports the name used to book the other ticket was Juan Morefore DeRoad, which, according to the FBI, was an alias Stein used for many years.

That is one story.

Another story is that Rick never left the hospital and died peacefully with his wife and his daughter holding tightly to his hands.

You can choose which version you want to believe or share your own story about Rick with us at the Greenville Country Club on Friday, November 9, 2018 from 3:00-6:00pm.

For online condolences, please visit http://www.chandlerfuneralhome.com.
Published in The News Journal from Oct. 7 to Nov. 4, 2018
The comments left by visitors in his online guest book here are also worth reading.
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BoSoxGal
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Re: Best Obituary of This – or Any Other – Year

Post by BoSoxGal »

A man clearly very deeply loved. :cry:
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
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RayThom
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Best Obituary of This – or Any Other – Year

Post by RayThom »

I bet Frank Abagnale Jr. is envious of "Rick."
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Gob
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Re: Best Obituary of This – or Any Other – Year

Post by Gob »

Lovely, thanks for sharing.
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”

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Re: Best Obituary of This – or Any Other – Year

Post by Econoline »

To quote Paul Harvey...

And now you know...............the rest of the story.
  • The obituary that ran last week in Delaware Online is a mystery, the tale of a globe-trotting Renaissance man who disappeared in a single-engine plane over the Atlantic Ocean after learning he had cancer.

    It was written by Alex Walsh about her father, Rick Stein, 71, a man who she said had an endless appetite for comedy. The huge response on social media has been comfort to the mourning family, she said, as people who never knew her father have been sending condolences by the dozens.

    “All of this is bittersweet,” Walsh, 45, said in an interview with The Washington Post.

    [ ... ]

    Walsh ends it with an emotional final line that unravels the mystery:

    “That is one story. Another story is that Rick never left the hospital and died peacefully with his wife and his daughter holding tightly to his hands.”


    The truth about her father’s occupation, she said, is that he owned a jewelry and Oriental rug store with his brother for many years in Delaware, until he moved to Colorado and opened a few restaurants. The rest were just embellishments of interests and activities he shared with different family members.

    Walsh said she knows it is unusual to make an obituary humorous, and some people might have even been confused by it, but it was fitting for her dad.

    Her father was a devoted follower of all things comedy, and Walsh has vivid memories of watching Monty Python and various comedy specials with him every weekend when she was a kid. As she got older, the focus shifted to Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David. He also enjoyed “Breaking Bad.”

    “With his sense of humor and personality, it seemed the best way to entertain his friends,” she said of the obituary, adding it is full of inside jokes.

    The idea came to her to when she thought back to writing an obituary for her aunt in 2013 in which she said “some believe she died of disco fever.”

    Once the obituary, also posted on the Chandler Funeral Home and Crematory site, was published, dozens of friends and strangers alike joined the goof and wrote in about many fantastic and outlandish achievements they said belonged to Stein.

    They included Stein’s performance at the Metropolitan Opera, saving a man from a shark attack with a piece of chewing gum, fighting off a bear while wearing a Speedo, carrying a man down Mount Everest on his back, winning second place in the Boston Marathon and running whisky out of Canada over the frozen lakes.

    Walsh loved them all, saying they took her humor to a new level.

    “Finding humor in the darkest times is how our family copes with sadness and loss, and it is comforting to know people have found joy reading my dad’s story,” she said.

    The hardest part, she added, is knowing how much her dad would have loved it, too.

    “He is the one person I want to call and say, ‘Oh my gosh, did you see this one?' ”
And yes, of course...even knowing that, it is still The Best Obituary of This—or Any Other—Year.
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Lord Jim
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Re: Best Obituary of This – or Any Other – Year

Post by Lord Jim »

It looks like a very fitting send off that he would have appreciated; he sounds like he was quite a character... :ok
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RayThom
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Best Obituary of This – or Any Other – Year

Post by RayThom »

Read all the "Condolences" written about Rick, mostly funny and quite a few are really out there. Not one disrespectful.

I can only hope that I shuffle off this mortal coil as humorously.

FYI: Rick owned the Jewelry shop in Greenville DE across from the Starbucks that I stop at on occasion. I never met the guy but I truly wish I had. Joe Biden lives about two miles away from the shopping center and I have a feeling he may have known Rick Stein.
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Bicycle Bill
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Re: Best Obituary of This – or Any Other – Year

Post by Bicycle Bill »

The first entry in the "Best Obit of the Year" for 2019 —
Tim Schrandt, age 63, of Spillville, IA died on Friday, March 29, 2019 at Gundersen Health System in LaCrosse, WI after a short battle with cancer.

A funeral service will be held at 11:00 a.m., Thursday, April 4, 2019 at the St. Wenceslaus Catholic Church in Spillville with Deacon Pat Malanaphy presiding, burial will be in the church cemetery with full military rites.

Visitation will be from 3:00 – 7:00 p.m. on Wednesday, April 3, 2019 at the St. Wenceslaus Catholic Church in Spillville and also after 10:00 a.m. at the Church on Thursday morning.

Tim Schrandt (Lynyrd) made his last inappropriate comment on March 29, 2019.  If you are wondering if you may have ever met him, you didn't - because you WOULD remember.  For those of you that did meet him, we apologize, as we're sure he probably offended you.  He was world renowned for not holding back and telling it like it is.

Tim was born to William (Bill) Schrandt and Mary (Schrandt) Manning on June 11,1955 - 100 years too late.  Given Tim's demeanor he would have been the perfect weathered cowboy in the old west or rough and tough pioneer, or maybe he just should have been Amish.

Tim was the 4th of 8 kids, the bottom rung of the top tier (the big kids).  Instead of taking his place on that rung, listening to the older kids and doing as he was told by his older siblings, he decided to anoint himself "king" of the 4 little kids.  Tim spent his childhood and early adulthood ordering them around and in general, tormenting them.  He was a great orator, (not like Shakespear [sic], but more like Yogi Berra), as he always had something to say, and always had to get in the last word.

His position as "king" and orator was challenged by the nuns at St. Wenceslaus school in Spillville.  He may have met his match.  We’re not saying the nuns won, but they put up a good fight, we mean literally - he got into a fist-a-cuff [sic] with a nun.  In fairness, she probably started it.  You didn't take a swing at Tim and not expect one back.  Tim's fondness for authority (his own - not others) followed him to South Winneshiek High School in Calmar and later into the Army.  This provided for many interesting episodes and stories, detentions and demotions, and a few "run ins" with the law, not just locally, but globally.

Tim worked at Camcar/Stanley Black and Decker in Decorah as a tool and die maker for 30 plus years.  Tim worked with many friends and “a bunch of morons”.  His words, not ours.  Well not exactly his, words because that would have included a bunch of swear words.

Tim leaves behind a hell of a lot of stuff that his family doesn't know what to do with.  So, if you are looking for a Virgin Mary in a bathtub shrine (you Catholics know what we’re talking about) you should wait the appropriate amount of time and get in touch with them.

Tomorrow would be fine.

In addition to his stuff he leaves behind two great boys who he was extremely proud of, Cody (Jenny) Schrandt and Josh (Lydia) Schrandt were the product of his marriage to Crystal Hilmer.  He will be missed by his two granddaughters that he adored and taught to cuss, Peyton and MacKenna.  Also left to keep the stories alive (but damn, there won"t be any new material) are his mother Mary Manning and siblings Mike (Rita Dixon) Schrandt, Marty (Clint) Berg, Becky Schrandt-Miles, Bill (Grease) Schrandt, Pam (Rick) Barnes, Peter (Sandra) Schrandt and many nieces, nephews and cousins that wanted to hang out near him, because you just knew he was going to say or do something good.  It’s not that he was such a great storyteller, it’s that he WAS the story!

To his siblings amazement he was actually able to snag a good woman, Cheryl Murray, and hold on to her for the past 13 years, and as far as we know restraints were not used.  Tim also created great memories and stories for Cheryl’s kids Alex (Christina) Murray and Samantha (Evan) Luedking and grandkids Tatum and Grace.

He will be having a reunion with his infant daughter Ashley, his brother Duke, his dad Bill Schrandt, many aunts and uncles and a handful of cousins that passed before him.  Tim was in charge of getting the beer and ice for our family reunions, so they will be happy to see him.

A common line in obituaries is “He never met a stranger”, in Tim’s case he never met a rule he couldn’t break, a boundary he couldn’t push, a line he couldn’t cross and a story he couldn’t stretch.  Another common obituary phrase is “He’d give the shirt off his back”, well Tim was prepared to do that, and he could do it quickly, because he always wore his shirts unbuttoned ¾ the way down.  Tim was anything but common!

Despite his crusty exterior, cutting remarks and stubbornness, there is actual evidence that he was a loving, giving and caring person.  That evidence is the deep sorrow and pain in our hearts that his family feels from his passing.

Tim led a good life and had a peaceful death - but the transition was a bitch.  And for the record, he did not lose his battle with cancer.  When he died, the cancer died, so technically it was a tie!  He was ready to meet his Maker, we're just not sure "The Maker" is ready to meet Tim.

Good luck God!

We are considering establishing a Go-Fund-Me account for G. Heileman Brewing Co., the brewers of Old Style beer, as we anticipate they are about to experience significant hardship as a result of the loss of Tim"s business.  Keep them in your thoughts.
I just hope that obits like this don't start getting to be more and more the norm, because it's the relative rarity of such essays as this that makes them all the more delightful.
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Best Obituary of This – or Any Other – Year

Post by RayThom »

Tim Schrandt... yeah, crusty seems to fit.
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Spillville man didn't hold back, and in writing his obituary, neither did his family
https://www.desmoinesregister.com/story ... 370246002/
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“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.” 

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