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The holy towel
Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 11:06 pm
by Gob
A towel claimed to be used by Jesus Christ to dry his face - and which now bears his image - will be one of the star attractions at an exhibition of Christian relics to be held in the UK this summer.
The Holy Towel Of Jesus - otherwise known as the Mandylion Of Edessa - is normally kept at the Pope's private chapel in the Vatican. But the British Museum has acquired the relic as the centrepiece of its Treasures From The Vatican display, which opens in London in June. Self portrait: The Mandylion of Edessa was formed when Jesus wiped his face on a towel , some scholars claim.
There is some scholarly dispute over the provenance of the towel. Some experts claim that it is a copy of the original made in about 400AD.
Nevertheless, British Museum bosses have described the acquisition as 'extraordinary'.
Read more:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z1Imrcxeiq
FOLLOWERS: ...Look! Ah! Oh! Oh!
ARTHUR: He has given us a sign!
FOLLOWER: Oh!
SHOE FOLLOWER: He has given us... His shoe!
ARTHUR: The shoe is the sign. Let us follow His example.
SPIKE: What?
ARTHUR: Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.
EDDIE: Yes.
SHOE FOLLOWER: No, no, no. The shoe is...
YOUTH: No.
SHOE FOLLOWER: ...a sign that we must gather shoes together in abundance.
GIRL: Cast off...
SPIKE: Aye. What?
GIRL: ...the shoes! Follow the Gourd!
SHOE FOLLOWER: No! Let us gather shoes together!
FRANK: Yes.
SHOE FOLLOWER: Let me!
ELSIE: Oh, get off!
YOUTH: No, no! It is a sign that, like Him, we must think not of the things of the body, but of the face and head!
SHOE FOLLOWER: Give me your shoe!
YOUTH: Get off!
GIRL: Follow the Gourd! The Holy Gourd of Jerusalem!
FOLLOWER: The Gourd!
HARRY: Hold up the sandal, as He has commanded us!
ARTHUR: It is a shoe! It is a shoe!
HARRY: It's a sandal!
ARTHUR: No, it isn't!
GIRL: Cast it away!
ARTHUR: Put it on!
YOUTH: And clear off!
SHOE FOLLOWER: Take the shoes and follow Him!
GIRL: Come,...
FRANK: Yes!
GIRL: ...all ye who call yourself Gourdenes!
SPIKE: Stop! Stop! Stop, I say! Stop! Let us-- let us pray. Yea, He cometh to us, like the seed to the grain.
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 11:20 pm
by MajGenl.Meade
Forget the shoe! Back in the day more than one church actually claimed to have the holy foreskin. Charlemagne was fond of handing it out to popes and others. But apparently on the way to Italy the real one got mixed up with a consignment of calamari and well.... it's a shame because the BritMus would have loved to have displayed one of the dozen or more claimants.
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 11:23 pm
by Gob
ROTFLMCO!!
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 7:58 am
by thestoat
Moving on to my bible (aka the book of Blackadder)
Baldrick: Moving on to relics, we've got shrouds, from Turin; er, wine from the
wedding at Cana; splinters from the cross (his finger gets a sliver
from one of the splinters); er, and, of course, there's stuff made by
Jesus in his days in the carpentry shoppe: got pipe racks, coffee
tables, coatstands, bookends, crucifixes, a nice cheeseboard, fruit
bowls, waterpoof sandals... (picks up a piece of wood that's partly
carved) Oh, I haven't finished that one yet.
Percy: But this is disgraceful, My Lord! All of these are obviously fake!
Edmund: Hah, yes!
Percy: But, but how will people be able to tell the difference between these
and the real relics?
Edmund: Well, they won't! That's the point!
Percy: Well, you won't be able to fool everyone! Look (he takes a red cloth
from his sleeve): I have here a true relic.
Edmund: What is it?
Percy: (unwraps the cloth) It is a bone from the finger of Our Lord. It cost
me 31 pieces of silver.
Edmund: Good lord. Is it real?
Percy: It is, My Lord. Baldrick, you stand amazed.
Baldrick: I am -- I thought they only came in boxes of ten. (he opens a box
of finger bones)
Percy: What?!
Baldrick: Yeah, yeah -- fingers are really big at the moment. Mind you, for
a really quick sale, you can't beat a nose. For instance, the
Sacred Appendage Compendium Party Pack: you get Jesus' nose, St.
Peter's nose, (??) of St. Francis' nose, and (picks up a pair of
false breasts) er, no -- they're Joan of Arc's.
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 12:04 pm
by The Hen
Gob wrote:A towel claimed to be used by Jesus Christ to dry his face - and which now bears his image - will be one of the star attractions at an exhibition of Christian relics to be held in the UK this summer.
It obviously has blue eyes?
I will NOT believe it to be a true towel of Christ unless it has blue eyes.
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 7:13 pm
by dgs49
We natives of Western Pennsylvania are wont to employ a magical device we call The Terrible Towel. It has recently been evidenced on the television program called, "Dancing with the Starrrrs," in which it is used to enhance the prospects of a dancer (Pittsburgh Steeler) named Heinz Ward.
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:37 pm
by Gob
JERUSALEM (Reuters) – Could two of the nails used to crucify Jesus have been discovered in a 2,000-year-old tomb in Jerusalem?
And could they have mysteriously disappeared for 20 years, only to turn up by chance in a Tel Aviv laboratory?
That is the premise of the new documentary film "The Nails of the Cross" by veteran investigator Simcha Jacobovici, which even before its release has prompted debate in the Holy Land.
The film follows three years of research during which Jacobovici presents his assertions -- some based on empirical data, others requiring much imagination and a leap of faith.
He hails the find as historic, but most experts and scholars contacted by Reuters dismissed his case as far-fetched, some calling it a publicity stunt.
Many ancient relics, including other nails supposedly traced back to the crucifixion, have been presented over the centuries as having a connection to Jesus. Many were deemed phony, while others were embraced as holy.
Jacobovici, who sparked debate with a previous film that claimed to reveal the lost tomb of Jesus, says this find differs from others because of its historical and archaeological context.
"What we are bringing to the world is the best archaeological argument ever made that two of the nails from the crucifixion of Jesus have been found," he said in an interview, wearing his trademark traditional knitted cap.
"Do I know 100 percent yes, these are them? I don't."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110412/lf_ ... esus_nails
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 11:00 pm
by The Hen
How do you trace back a couple of rusty nails to the crucifixion?
Did the carpenter leave a bill?
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 11:03 pm
by Gob
They glow in the dark and cure herpes...
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:34 pm
by MajGenl.Meade
Nah, they're stamped "Romani ite domum"
Which gives a good way to date them
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:56 pm
by Gob
Centurion: What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?
Brian: It says, "Romans go home. "
Centurion: No it doesn't ! What's the latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on !
Brian: Er, "Romanus" !
Centurion: Vocative plural of "Romanus" is?
Brian: Er, er, "Romani" !
Centurion: [Writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti] "Eunt"? What is "eunt"? Conjugate the verb, "to go" !
Brian: Er, "Ire". Er, "eo", "is", "it", "imus", "itis", "eunt".
Centurion: So, "eunt" is...?
Brian: Third person plural present indicative, "they go".
Centurion: But, "Romans, go home" is an order. So you must use...?
[He twists Brian's ear]
Brian: Aaagh ! The imperative !
Centurion: Which is...?
Brian: Aaaagh ! Er, er, "i" !
Centurion: How many Romans?
Brian: Aaaaagh ! Plural, plural, er, "ite" !
Centurion: [Writes "ite"] "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion towards, isn't it?
Brian: Dative !
[the Centurion holds a sword to his throat]
Brian: Aaagh ! Not the dative, not the dative ! Er, er, accusative, "Domum" !
Centurion: But "Domus" takes the locative, which is...?
Brian: Er, "Domum" !
Centurion: [Writes "Domum"] Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.
Brian: Yes sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
Centurion: Hail Caesar ! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 2:47 am
by eddieq
My daughter is taking Spanish in high school. Every now and then I tell her, "Conjugate the verb 'to go'" and she does but also gives me a "why do you keep asking me that?" look.
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 3:13 pm
by @meric@nwom@n
Eddieq, how go the dog and diet? Kids still cute?
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 5:42 pm
by eddieq
@meric@nwom@n wrote:Eddieq, how go the dog and diet? Kids still cute?
Dog's cute, kids are cute. I'm in "restart" mode on the diet. Bulked back up. No excuses. Just lazy. I joined a weight loss challenge group with prizes, so I have some motivation (besides wellness, of course).
Gratuitous photo of el perro
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 6:30 pm
by @meric@nwom@n
Still a cutey-wooty-puppy-wuppy-doggie-woogie!
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 12:38 am
by loCAtek
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww~
I be puppy-pacified 
Re: The holy towel
Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 12:49 am
by loCAtek