Thinking about death

[loCAtek]

Very provocative, I mean that in the thoughtful way; the way it makes you think.

I haven't seen a lot of death, but I hear many accounts and have had many discussions with two great friends who claim they're not afraid of passing. They've both been in many harrowing situations in the military that could have killed them dead. One has a lot of faith that sustains him, the other is just an agnostic adrenaline junkie and they both enjoy a great deal of Joie de vivre -barely a hint of PTSD on them.

I have no forkin' idea how they do it. I believe there's an afterlife; I just don't know which one I'm going to get- the good, the bad or the boring one. So, I'm open to suggestions?

[Miles]

I have seen death in all it's forms. The horror of war as well as the peace of a dear friend quietly drifting away. I have also seen the distruction of life as a result of man made accidents as well as mother nature reminding us of our fragile nature.

My own health has caused me to consider my mortality more and more. I do not fear dying but do have concerns about just how that will be accomplished. My biggest fear is becoming a burden by having to be 'taken care of' while I linger in some severely incopaciated state. Life can be a cruel task master but then death, while inevitable, is not, at least for me, an attractive alturnative.

[The Hen]

Being a burden before death is something I definitely do NOT want to be.

I do not want the Hatch to be responsible for feeding or changing me. Life shouldn't need to play in reverse at the end.

[Gob]

Thanks for sharing those experiences guys.

My first experience of death was when I was 17. We were at a holiday camp (Butlin's) with our youth club, the camp ran a table tennis tournament, the first prize being a week's holiday. My mate, Tapping, got to the final, and was playing his heart out for the prize, with all us club members cheering him on. His opponent was a family man, mid forties I guess, one hell of a player, and was wiping the floor with Tapping. His wife and two small kids were his only supporters. Next thing he clutches his chest,. falls to the floor, and no one could bring him around.

I've never seen anything so shocking in all my life.

What people like Miles have experienced I couldn't imagine in my worse nightmares.

[Miles]

What people like Miles have experienced I couldn't imagine in my worse nightmares.

Strop that is what nightmares are made of. My life after Nam is one giantic nightmare. I have suffered insomnia that has lasted for more than ten years. During that time I have slept only two hours in twenty four because I was afraid of the nightmares and the flashbacks. The insomina occurs at different times in my life. Currently I am sleeping well. But there are days when I am filled with the dred of my past. If were not for the love of my wife I would perhaps be a lost soul. I also apperciate the friendship of my online friends.

[The Hen]

Wow. My 'nightmares' about spiders in my bed seem so insignificant ....

[Crackpot]

My uncle Didn't have the best coping mechanisms before he went to Nam and after he really couldn't cope.

[Miles]

My uncle Didn't have the best coping mechanisms before he went to Nam and after he really couldn't cope.

Crack, is your uncle still alive?

[Miles]

Wow. My 'nightmares' about spiders in my bed seem so insignificant ....

Hen, whatever you nighmares are they are significant. They are what you most fear and what makes you the most fearfull. Mine are what I have experienced yours are what you fear will happen. They are not that far apart in reality.

[Crackpot]

My uncle Didn't have the best coping mechanisms before he went to Nam and after he really couldn't cope.

Crack, is your uncle still alive?

No

I am unsure if I should elaborate it's not a happy tale.

[Andrew D]

From too much love of living,
From hope and fear set free,
We thank with brief thanksgiving
Whatever gods may be
That no life lives forever,
That dead men rise up never,
That even the weariest river
Winds somewhere, safe, to sea.

Then star not sun shall waken,
Nor any change of light,
Nor sound of waters shaken,
Nor any sound or sight,
Nor wintry leaves, nor vernal,
Nor days, nor things diurnal,
Only sleep eternal
In an eternal night.

-- A.C. Swinburne, The Garden of Proserpine

[Rick]

Just thought I'd post this link (Miles hinted around PTSD without mentioning it)

[dales]

"O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY? O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?"

1 Cor. 15:55

[Gob]

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[Miles]

Just thought I'd post this link (Miles hinted around PTSD without mentioning it)

Yes Keld that,PTSD, it part of the problem. However my main concern is my own difficuily dealing with my problems and fears. I was trained for war I spent 4 and one half years doing my job. Over that time I experienced things that hardened me and desinsetized me to human suffering. As the years passed I became more and more aware of what I had experienced and it has made me much more aware of just what my actions have meant to not only me but others. You have seen my sig line on the CSB, that is my resignation of life. I have no expectations of redemption. I do not express remorse as that would be hypocritical because at the time I did what I did I totally believed in what I was doing. That is the life I chose, good or bad that is what we do and have to live with.