Did I tell you I had a rat problem?
No?
That's because I don't. Whatever my Geekmates tell you, don't believe them. They're just trying to blame me for their cats committing Geek-O-cide. It's the least my roomies could do, after all I've done for them this past year, 'eh?
Contrary to whatever geekgossip you may have heard, it wasn't my fault, I swear. If I had done it, you'd never have heard about it; I keep those kinda things on the down-low.
You know, what I had said was- I'd sell the geekkats for medical experiments; I did not say, I'd snuff them outright. I may be desperate enough to do anything for dinero, but the assassination of dumb animals? ... not profitable enough.
No, the kitties had died of TSTL Too Stupid to Live – not their own flat-headed feline brand of stupidity, which they had plenty of, but from the excessive amounts oozed out by the Geek family.
Yeaaaaaa, they're still here; well, most of them. The geekkats are down to three: Cat3 and Cat5 - the legally blind cat, have both punched out of their ninth life and headed to that big litter box in the sky.
In order to blame me; it was the Geek mates who wanted to think that I had a rat problem, when the story was: I'd found ONE rat that had gotten into the kitchen, a YEAR before they'd ever arrived in 2009.
Hell, I thought it was an amusing anecdote about fluke animal intrusion, that I'd relayed, which went like this;
<flash back harp chords here>
While I was still working at Home Depot and my favorite bunny was still alive, I'd returned home quietly one night to hear rattling in the kitchen. [?] Was my house rabbit in there? She didn't normally like linoleum, and so had never ventured forth into the kitchen before, but there was some small, wascally wodent in the woom, uh room, that night.
Flicking on the light switch, inspired a frantic scamper behind the recycling; then a fleeing to the back of the refrigerator, and proceeded to cause manic squeaking help me! in terror. A second check of the housebunny ('Hey, how ya doing?) had me believing this was a rattling caused by a rat!
Donning oven mitts, and wielding a broom and a trash bin; I had hoped to roust him from behind the fridge; sweep him into the can and throw him back outside where he belonged. The small, gray, roof rat wholeheartedly agreed; he wanted to be outta there pronto!
What I didn't know was how well rats can jump, ya know? You think bunnies are the highest hoppers, but rattus rattus gets the Silver medal in the long jump, particularly when they're panicking. He just had to get through La Loca and me looney bin first!
Just a few well placed pounces and he was past me, scrambling for his exit – which was a crack between the cabinets. I hadn't thought to close the cupboards; but what did I know about home rodent invasion? ...and before I knew it, the rat had dived down a drawer and dashed out the backside, to freedom below the foundation.
Good enough! Out was out, and I slammed the drawer shut tight, coZ I didn't want to see that ne'er-do-well ever again...
And, I never did see him ...alive.
Fast forward to when Jimmy the Geek and co. had moved in, in 2010, and I'm threatening him with bodily harm to clean up his junk outside the yard, where we find a small bucket accidentally filled with rainwater ...and one drowned rat. <yuck>
There was no knowing if this was the same rat I'd spooked out of the kitchen, but it was the only one we'd ever found since the geek had been staying here ...and it was plainly devoid of life. Shoot, I get possum, skunk, squirrel (grey and black), raccoon and homeless sapien; a regular rat ain't that unusual- so we unceremoniously tossed him in the garbage.
Which later, somehow made me, La Loca, to blame for Cat3 dying. [?]
I didn't even know I was the culprit, until weeks after she was dead, and her tiny little urn was decorating the entertainment center; that I was supposedly the one guilty of Geek-O-cide.
Seems the roomies had been consoling themselves that Cat3 hadn't died of malnutrition, anemia and overexposure to Ultraviolet-Geekiation, no.
No, they were saying, she must have eaten some poison left out to deal with my rat problem. [!?] Oh sweet, first I killed their cat, and now I have an invisible rat problem!
Do I have ghost termites too? Are there shadow mice in the attic? Do I have an attic!?
Maybe, I have an apparition of an attic that's a poltergeist portal for the phantom pests?
...and somehow, unbeknownst to me, I was demon-possessed and left out phantasmal poison for the invisible ghost rats and one geeky cat, who decided to eat that instead of her healthier/yummier allotment of normal, visible, catfood. And so, that's what killed the cat - grandiosity. 'Cha. While...
Cat5 was a victim of his balls.
I'd told the Geekmate, that Cat5 shouldn't have'em, that none of his tom cats should still have an intact sack, as it could lead to yowling, spraying, scratching, fighting, illegitimate kittening and/or dying But did he listen to me? Does he ever listen to me? And so the CatNutZ stayed, until it was too late, of course.
With Cat2, he had become quite the bully, wielding his testes with a vengeance, and wrecking havoc on the household; until he was exiled to the outdoors where he could disrupt the harmony of the entire neighborhood with his huevos' hormones. He seems happier that way, but it did lead to smelly poo in the garden and stray kittens <d'oh!>. Yup, the second worst thing that could happen, but I've hogtied Jimmy and held him over a slow roasting fire to make him promise to catch those wildcats, and fixing every last one of them, including the dead-beat dad.
Cat5, the legally blind cat, wanted nothing less than to listen to his balls, and follow in his brother's footsteps. Ergo: He wanted OUT! Sadly, poor Cat5 couldn't even navigate down stairs very well, so he had to be imprisoned indoors, for his own personal, sightless safety, but oh, how he wanted out! He would tell you that every morning, and every time he heard a door opening.
<me-OOOUT! me-OOOUT!>
Plus, he's spent the summer forcing open heavy windows; pushing out screens and in the case of the carport; he busted a hole through that screen door entirely.
I tried to insist that the GeekMate repair that, but I forgot to apply the hot coals, and so he did the lamest thing imaginable; he laid a piece of scrap board across the outside of the door frame and wedged it in place with a three foot metal stake, which stuck out like the world's ugliest trip hazard.
No, even I can't believe, that he really did that.
Going into denial, that this was not the requested repair, but just a temporary solution, I tried to ignore the ghettoness of it all... However, I couldn't get past the visions of one of his geekkids tripping over that jacked-up board; tumbling down the porch steps and being impaled onto the concrete by the metal rod that had come loose in the mayhem. ...or worse yet, that happening to me. That was not worth keeping a sex-starved, handicapped cat housebound, no matter how he howled his unhappiness.
Explaining this, this time to JTG, with the aid of duct tape and heated pliers; the fix had to be acceptable to the Homeowners Association (me) ...and/or Get a baby-gate, I strongly suggested, and it would help if he had Cat5 fixed!
Naturally, neither was done. The board came down, but the Geeks just stopped using the screen door and kept the main door closed all of the time, no matter how hot it got; whilst poor Cat5 continued to cry. <me-OOOUT! me-OOOUT!>
Finally, last week it culminated in a furry, Cat5, freak-out: he and his hormones just couldn't take it anymore and he made a break for it, from every possible opening. Unfortunately, this was taking advantage of washing day, where I have to use the screen door to let the steam out. While, what I tried was blocking the hole with a rabbit cage wall section ...Cat5 was so desperate for luv, he squeezed himself under that as well.
Meanwhile after the Geek family had caught him, (he doesn't usually get very far) his thirst for freedom was unquenchable. Each hour, he was sneaking out a window, slipping out a screen panel and spiriting himself through the drywall, it seemed somehow. Cat5 couldn't be contained, any longer. Eventually, the geeks gave up, as per usual, and went back to watching TV.
What occurred was inevitable Geek-O-cide, the neighbors and I agreed; it was bound to happen:
Shortly after darkness fell, Cat5 met his doom because he couldn't see the offending car coming.
Only yards from his home: the feckless feline was mowed down in his prime to became spattered road pizza. Thankfully, demise was swift and he didn't suffer much from the crushing wheel of a speeding suburban auto, that flattened him post hastily.
Oh, there were tears, mourning shreds and ashes, but that cat was heavenwardily gone! to darken the screen door no more.
More importantly; Has Jimmy the Geek, learned form this experience?
I dunno, one can hope..
With Friends like These cont.
Re: With Friends like These cont.
Despair ye, and abandon all hope!
The Geek has learned nothing! Ask him for action, and all I've gotten are excuses; the neutering of Cat2 has never happened.
Hounding him everyday to catch the wayward kittens of Cat2, resulted in four feral cat catches (including the breeding female), who were all shipped to the (over-extended) animal shelter.
Huzzah, at least, they'll get sterilized there, although I hear there's an overload of adoptable felines this season. On their website, they're offering '2-for-1 Furry Friends', to get them the fork outta there!
As for the Father-cat? He's still got his sack of fertile firepower, fuming to be foisted upon the focality. Fuck.
And why hasn't he been fixed, yet?
The geek earnestly informs me that if Cat2 is neutered at the height of his hormone cycle, he'll stay horny for life. When that height is, or when it ends, he doesn't know but he's sure that means he shouldn't fix Cat2 now.
Tell me that's BS, and I'll take Cat2 to the clinic myself and just send the Geek mate the bill.
The Geek has learned nothing! Ask him for action, and all I've gotten are excuses; the neutering of Cat2 has never happened.
Hounding him everyday to catch the wayward kittens of Cat2, resulted in four feral cat catches (including the breeding female), who were all shipped to the (over-extended) animal shelter.
Huzzah, at least, they'll get sterilized there, although I hear there's an overload of adoptable felines this season. On their website, they're offering '2-for-1 Furry Friends', to get them the fork outta there!
As for the Father-cat? He's still got his sack of fertile firepower, fuming to be foisted upon the focality. Fuck.
And why hasn't he been fixed, yet?
The geek earnestly informs me that if Cat2 is neutered at the height of his hormone cycle, he'll stay horny for life. When that height is, or when it ends, he doesn't know but he's sure that means he shouldn't fix Cat2 now.
Tell me that's BS, and I'll take Cat2 to the clinic myself and just send the Geek mate the bill.
Re: With Friends like These cont.
My Flips have Flipped: Part II
The other night I had a dream about the Geekmate, and a pretty graphic one at that.
So, be advised: this post is rated 'R' – Minors under 17 will not be allowed to read it without a parent or adult guardian...
…
Why did the Motion Picture Association of America put 'parent' in there?
Who in their unright mind as a teenager, wanted to see a 'R' rated movie with their parents?
We all know, you'd rather have snuck into those kinds of movies, than be seen doing anything that remotely resembled a family outing, in front your friends, right?.
Not to mention, your parents probably didn't want to go with you either.
A 'R' movie had either explicit sex or extreme violence in it.
If the rating was for sex- your parents definitely were made uncomfortable by watching things they didn't want to discuss with you until after you were married, and well after you'd been given any smidgin of sex education by the public school system … but not by them, no!
Which meant: sending you to cinder-blocked schools to watch 8mm films about the pistils and stamens of orchids; and NOT sharing the experience watching of soft-core, human porn on the silver screen, with you. Heaven help us from that kind of bonding, that could get us arrested outside of the movie theater.
If it was violence, your P & M might be persuaded to go to something starring Clint Eastwood (his coolness factor was that high!), but the Charles Bronson levels of carnage and Fu-Manchu, mustached brutality were not worth the price of admission and an expensive bucket of popcorn with an over-sized wax cup of Coke™; hot-buttered-flavored-oil topping or not.
Gore was not kid-friendly in my day, and they knew it. Adding over-charged, super-sized, candy bars not intended to be consumed in one sitting, (but we did it) did not help the situation at all
...from there, the MPAA, just made it worse.
They decided: 'Horror movies' could be rated 'R' (instead of X) and if enough copious amounts of fake blood and synthetic flesh could be sprayed and flayed per frame, and still pass the censors; then gosh-darn-it; cinematic portrayals of common, garden-variety street violence with complications from stabbing, shooting and smashing, which had an adverse effect on the prolonging of life; were tame by comparison.
Gratuitous, fantasy, spatter-porn just made it easier to circumvent the ushers, ya see.
That was why you spent so much time with your 19-year-old cuzzin, from the South Side, the one with the tenuous relationship with soap and water, and a face bubbling like the La Brea Tar pits.. It was easier put to up with the monumental BO and just avert your eyes, than submit to the social stigma of exposing yourself to adult themes with parental supervision.
...but, I digress.
The Dream already;
I, La Loca, dreamt I was leaving the light rail train on an elevated platform, only to be met by my ultra-geeky roommate Jimmy, upon exiting. He proceeded to regale me with tales of the most tediously boring, that I was numbed by the nerdiness, and failed to tell him that the train that he was leaning on was leaving. Instead, I watched as he was swept off his feet and onto the rails of the now-moving, ten-ton train...
~crunch/ouch~
Wish I'd thought-a-that in the first place, but since I hadn't, my attempts at retrieving/reviving him were completely futile as he lay on the tracks in sections; his final moments thrown across several ties ...repeatedly, as car after car ran over his carcass. Ick. (Wot? I warned you)
All I could do was call his name, like in one of those melodramatic movie moments when the hero WANTS to help, but he's not gonna throw himself onto that fire; into those jaws; or off that building, just to save your sorry ass.
No, he's heroic, not suicidal.
You're doomed dude, but I cared, you got that much.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
...Thus so, the Geekmate was dead.
The End, roll credits.
Meanwhile, back in Real Life; The Geek, seriously, is dead. No, not dead-dead, just dead to me.
Well, not to me, but to his WifeFriend.
While I don't write much about her she's always been there... I dunno, maybe because she's normal and therefore by nature- boring? ...is why I've not had much to say about her before?
The totality of her existence was: She took care of the Geekmate; the geekkids and the geekkats and that seemed to be about the gist of it: Wife, mother and... and... <shrug>
Outside of the context of the Attention Deficit, Alpha Geek-a-Zoid , she was average, yawn and pretty uninteresting. I mean, would you rather hear about her latest laundry load, or how The Geek was risking life an limb, by being an Über-loser extraordinaire?
Thought so.
I'm not saying, I don't like her ...I can like normal; but I'm just not used to it. That's not even PG-13. My regular social circles are filled with deviants, psychos and ice pick-murderers; how does an average, overweight, white trash gal trying to be a good mom to her kids, fit into that Vida Loca, huh?
Well, I'm here to say, she found a way.
She snapped and killed the Geek-E-O, in one take.
Stabbed him through the heart, by breaking-the-fork-up with him. Not cleanly either, it was slow torture by the 'It's-not-you-it's-me-and-I-hope-we-can-still-be-friends-?' ...variety of agonizing pain.
IMHO, I think he would have preferred the dismemberment by train, at least his dignity would have remained intact.
SoZ instead, she's awarded an 'R' rating for figuratively, raking his manhood over hot coals, in a manner I'm still impressed with; damn I wish I coulda done that!
Thus, she delivered death/divorce to the Geekmate, in one bilateral Chess execution and unceremoniously dumped him off the board.
...and oh yeah, and she's still here; I'll take rent wherever I can get it.
Regardless, that she never really married him the WifeFriend is now single, and shall henceforth be known as the Red Queen.
She's a chillin' villainess, now.
The Geek is dead, long live the Queen!
Ding Dong! The Geekmate's dead.
Ding Dong! The Geek is dead.
Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Geeky-mate is dead. He's gone where the goblins go,
Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.
Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know
The Geeky-mate is dead!
Damn girl, that's hardcore! Props!
The other night I had a dream about the Geekmate, and a pretty graphic one at that.
So, be advised: this post is rated 'R' – Minors under 17 will not be allowed to read it without a parent or adult guardian...
…
Why did the Motion Picture Association of America put 'parent' in there?
Who in their unright mind as a teenager, wanted to see a 'R' rated movie with their parents?
We all know, you'd rather have snuck into those kinds of movies, than be seen doing anything that remotely resembled a family outing, in front your friends, right?.
Not to mention, your parents probably didn't want to go with you either.
A 'R' movie had either explicit sex or extreme violence in it.
If the rating was for sex- your parents definitely were made uncomfortable by watching things they didn't want to discuss with you until after you were married, and well after you'd been given any smidgin of sex education by the public school system … but not by them, no!
Which meant: sending you to cinder-blocked schools to watch 8mm films about the pistils and stamens of orchids; and NOT sharing the experience watching of soft-core, human porn on the silver screen, with you. Heaven help us from that kind of bonding, that could get us arrested outside of the movie theater.
If it was violence, your P & M might be persuaded to go to something starring Clint Eastwood (his coolness factor was that high!), but the Charles Bronson levels of carnage and Fu-Manchu, mustached brutality were not worth the price of admission and an expensive bucket of popcorn with an over-sized wax cup of Coke™; hot-buttered-flavored-oil topping or not.
Gore was not kid-friendly in my day, and they knew it. Adding over-charged, super-sized, candy bars not intended to be consumed in one sitting, (but we did it) did not help the situation at all
...from there, the MPAA, just made it worse.
They decided: 'Horror movies' could be rated 'R' (instead of X) and if enough copious amounts of fake blood and synthetic flesh could be sprayed and flayed per frame, and still pass the censors; then gosh-darn-it; cinematic portrayals of common, garden-variety street violence with complications from stabbing, shooting and smashing, which had an adverse effect on the prolonging of life; were tame by comparison.
Gratuitous, fantasy, spatter-porn just made it easier to circumvent the ushers, ya see.
That was why you spent so much time with your 19-year-old cuzzin, from the South Side, the one with the tenuous relationship with soap and water, and a face bubbling like the La Brea Tar pits.. It was easier put to up with the monumental BO and just avert your eyes, than submit to the social stigma of exposing yourself to adult themes with parental supervision.
...but, I digress.
The Dream already;
I, La Loca, dreamt I was leaving the light rail train on an elevated platform, only to be met by my ultra-geeky roommate Jimmy, upon exiting. He proceeded to regale me with tales of the most tediously boring, that I was numbed by the nerdiness, and failed to tell him that the train that he was leaning on was leaving. Instead, I watched as he was swept off his feet and onto the rails of the now-moving, ten-ton train...
~crunch/ouch~
Wish I'd thought-a-that in the first place, but since I hadn't, my attempts at retrieving/reviving him were completely futile as he lay on the tracks in sections; his final moments thrown across several ties ...repeatedly, as car after car ran over his carcass. Ick. (Wot? I warned you)
All I could do was call his name, like in one of those melodramatic movie moments when the hero WANTS to help, but he's not gonna throw himself onto that fire; into those jaws; or off that building, just to save your sorry ass.
No, he's heroic, not suicidal.
You're doomed dude, but I cared, you got that much.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
...Thus so, the Geekmate was dead.
The End, roll credits.
Meanwhile, back in Real Life; The Geek, seriously, is dead. No, not dead-dead, just dead to me.
Well, not to me, but to his WifeFriend.
While I don't write much about her she's always been there... I dunno, maybe because she's normal and therefore by nature- boring? ...is why I've not had much to say about her before?
The totality of her existence was: She took care of the Geekmate; the geekkids and the geekkats and that seemed to be about the gist of it: Wife, mother and... and... <shrug>
Outside of the context of the Attention Deficit, Alpha Geek-a-Zoid , she was average, yawn and pretty uninteresting. I mean, would you rather hear about her latest laundry load, or how The Geek was risking life an limb, by being an Über-loser extraordinaire?
Thought so.
I'm not saying, I don't like her ...I can like normal; but I'm just not used to it. That's not even PG-13. My regular social circles are filled with deviants, psychos and ice pick-murderers; how does an average, overweight, white trash gal trying to be a good mom to her kids, fit into that Vida Loca, huh?
Well, I'm here to say, she found a way.
She snapped and killed the Geek-E-O, in one take.
Stabbed him through the heart, by breaking-the-fork-up with him. Not cleanly either, it was slow torture by the 'It's-not-you-it's-me-and-I-hope-we-can-still-be-friends-?' ...variety of agonizing pain.
IMHO, I think he would have preferred the dismemberment by train, at least his dignity would have remained intact.
SoZ instead, she's awarded an 'R' rating for figuratively, raking his manhood over hot coals, in a manner I'm still impressed with; damn I wish I coulda done that!
Thus, she delivered death/divorce to the Geekmate, in one bilateral Chess execution and unceremoniously dumped him off the board.
...and oh yeah, and she's still here; I'll take rent wherever I can get it.
Regardless, that she never really married him the WifeFriend is now single, and shall henceforth be known as the Red Queen.
She's a chillin' villainess, now.
The Geek is dead, long live the Queen!
Ding Dong! The Geekmate's dead.
Ding Dong! The Geek is dead.
Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Geeky-mate is dead. He's gone where the goblins go,
Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.
Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know
The Geeky-mate is dead!
Damn girl, that's hardcore! Props!
Re: With Friends like These cont.
So, now I have catZ....
Before, I had just lived with them, but now that the Geekmate is gone; they're all mine. yay.
Yup, just one more thing he can't responsibly take care of. The Geek's left behind a host of damages and repairs; barely gave me any departure notice, and left saying he'd be back for the GeekKatZ when he'd settled his move into HIS new house. Which of course, never happened.
All his talk last year, of saying the Flip family house was his, was always hinged upon the contingency that his parents (both of them) would die and leave it to him as his inheritance, ...after their unknown expiration, ...to be released at a later date ... completely unascertained ... Okay Whadda great financial plan, I know …which also never happened.
Unfortunately, not before his intimate relationship of pseudo-shack-up died a dweeb's death, at the hands of the hormonal significant other-sex.
Thus so, the wifefriend Queen had mercy killed the sham, for all the obvious reasons, and lastly; the last straw; the death of Cat5 by vehicular manslaughter. Orale', she too, like the rest of the trailerhood, firmly blamed that untimely execution upon unnecessary Geekiness.
The flag on the play said; Cat5 didn't have to die; he was innocent collateral damage- where/when would it end? Heretofore, the GeekKarnage had to stop. No geekKitty had to be left behind.
So, it ended with her ...leading to the Geek's ultimate expulsar, and ultimately a halt to Geek-O-cide and all otherwise Crimes to Cats.
So, now I have catZ.... help me.
Before, I had just lived with them, but now that the Geekmate is gone; they're all mine. yay.
Yup, just one more thing he can't responsibly take care of. The Geek's left behind a host of damages and repairs; barely gave me any departure notice, and left saying he'd be back for the GeekKatZ when he'd settled his move into HIS new house. Which of course, never happened.
All his talk last year, of saying the Flip family house was his, was always hinged upon the contingency that his parents (both of them) would die and leave it to him as his inheritance, ...after their unknown expiration, ...to be released at a later date ... completely unascertained ... Okay Whadda great financial plan, I know …which also never happened.
Unfortunately, not before his intimate relationship of pseudo-shack-up died a dweeb's death, at the hands of the hormonal significant other-sex.
Thus so, the wifefriend Queen had mercy killed the sham, for all the obvious reasons, and lastly; the last straw; the death of Cat5 by vehicular manslaughter. Orale', she too, like the rest of the trailerhood, firmly blamed that untimely execution upon unnecessary Geekiness.
The flag on the play said; Cat5 didn't have to die; he was innocent collateral damage- where/when would it end? Heretofore, the GeekKarnage had to stop. No geekKitty had to be left behind.
So, it ended with her ...leading to the Geek's ultimate expulsar, and ultimately a halt to Geek-O-cide and all otherwise Crimes to Cats.
So, now I have catZ.... help me.
Re: With Friends like These cont.
I say MY cats, because the Red Queen doesn't want them.
She had made that clear, when the GeekMate was catching the feral kittens; the Queen had wholeheartedly made the decree; 'No more cats!' -meaning: he was not to keep any of them!
The Geek had dutifully replied with a 'yes, dear' as he tearfully surrendered the baby cats, he'd already fallen for. ...Keeping one of course, at a friend's house.
You'd think his being so spineless swift as to answer the Queen's every beck and call, would have prevented him from being dumped, wouldn't you? Well, it was his way of doing his duty, but not really doing anything that I think was the reason for the heave-ho.
For with booting him out, another declaration to the Geek was: 'Take your cats with you!'
That didn't happen; as obviously they're still here. [d'oh]
At least, it's down to a manageable two cats.... of the original five; two have died and one exiled herself. The ones remaining were my favorite ones, fortunately- Cat1 and Cat2.
Cat4 was a catty, little pussy, who never liked anything. So, when she escaped the house shortly after the break-up, no one ever tried to go find her. Hey, if she didn't want our care, then we didn't have to give it. She had her sight intact, so if that's what she wanted, then she could take care of herself, andale pues?
Not that she really left, she just hung about the yard, to sneak dry catfood left out for the CatZ 1 & 2.
Of the misc. junk, toys, televisions and one broken, non-mobile, automobile the Geek had left behind for ME to clean up; that was his one true allegiance ...to his female-feline was revealed. It was she, he would rescue of his own volitional.
See: The Geek hadn't take his catZ with him in the first place, because he'd retreated to his FlipParent's castle, as I said before; and they over-ruled ALL. The High Emperor and His Empress mandated that henceforth there would be no foreign catZ brought to their fiefdom! Ever! .
..and that was that. There was no more to the discussion. The only way to defy their law was to wait until after they were dead; and banking on that, had had a high failure rate before. Juss sayin'
So now, while the Red Queen was assertive, she wasn't cruel. Since the GeekKatZ had nowhere else to go, then they could be her 'guests'; if the Geek formerly known as The Roommate, could provide food for them. (...and get Cat2 neutered [yeah, right])
So, it was on one of his minimal effort deliveries of jumbo sized, dry kibble, bags that he finally noticed Cat4 wasn't in residence, anymore.
After he texted me, I assured him, she was fine; we'd see her in the backyard from time to time.
...and, That was it;
If he couldn't take of his carZ
If he couldn't take of his woman
If he couldn't take of his kidZ
If he couldn't take of his petZ...
...then at least, he'd do right by this one kitty.
Just this once, he'd do it himself.
He came and called her to him, one afternoon ...where finally his applying himself was acknowledged; by a little, lonely cat who missed her daddy. She came right up to him, where he lovingly took her into his arms ...and drove her straight to someone else who could take care of her; his ex-wife, since he couldn't do it. <sigh>
Good riddance.
Cat1 and Cat2 aren't so stupid; they have no problem with allying themselves with the current humans, in fact they seem happier for it. They no longer have the competition, so who's to complain? Cat1 and Cat2 have food every morning and a lap to lounge in every evening. Life is good!
As well as; La Loca brings them treats of tinned tasties once a week.
No wonder, they're happier with being MY catZ.
She had made that clear, when the GeekMate was catching the feral kittens; the Queen had wholeheartedly made the decree; 'No more cats!' -meaning: he was not to keep any of them!
The Geek had dutifully replied with a 'yes, dear' as he tearfully surrendered the baby cats, he'd already fallen for. ...Keeping one of course, at a friend's house.
You'd think his being so spineless swift as to answer the Queen's every beck and call, would have prevented him from being dumped, wouldn't you? Well, it was his way of doing his duty, but not really doing anything that I think was the reason for the heave-ho.
For with booting him out, another declaration to the Geek was: 'Take your cats with you!'
That didn't happen; as obviously they're still here. [d'oh]
At least, it's down to a manageable two cats.... of the original five; two have died and one exiled herself. The ones remaining were my favorite ones, fortunately- Cat1 and Cat2.
Cat4 was a catty, little pussy, who never liked anything. So, when she escaped the house shortly after the break-up, no one ever tried to go find her. Hey, if she didn't want our care, then we didn't have to give it. She had her sight intact, so if that's what she wanted, then she could take care of herself, andale pues?
Not that she really left, she just hung about the yard, to sneak dry catfood left out for the CatZ 1 & 2.
Of the misc. junk, toys, televisions and one broken, non-mobile, automobile the Geek had left behind for ME to clean up; that was his one true allegiance ...to his female-feline was revealed. It was she, he would rescue of his own volitional.
See: The Geek hadn't take his catZ with him in the first place, because he'd retreated to his FlipParent's castle, as I said before; and they over-ruled ALL. The High Emperor and His Empress mandated that henceforth there would be no foreign catZ brought to their fiefdom! Ever! .
..and that was that. There was no more to the discussion. The only way to defy their law was to wait until after they were dead; and banking on that, had had a high failure rate before. Juss sayin'
So now, while the Red Queen was assertive, she wasn't cruel. Since the GeekKatZ had nowhere else to go, then they could be her 'guests'; if the Geek formerly known as The Roommate, could provide food for them. (...and get Cat2 neutered [yeah, right])
So, it was on one of his minimal effort deliveries of jumbo sized, dry kibble, bags that he finally noticed Cat4 wasn't in residence, anymore.
After he texted me, I assured him, she was fine; we'd see her in the backyard from time to time.
...and, That was it;
If he couldn't take of his carZ
If he couldn't take of his woman
If he couldn't take of his kidZ
If he couldn't take of his petZ...
...then at least, he'd do right by this one kitty.
Just this once, he'd do it himself.
He came and called her to him, one afternoon ...where finally his applying himself was acknowledged; by a little, lonely cat who missed her daddy. She came right up to him, where he lovingly took her into his arms ...and drove her straight to someone else who could take care of her; his ex-wife, since he couldn't do it. <sigh>
Good riddance.
Cat1 and Cat2 aren't so stupid; they have no problem with allying themselves with the current humans, in fact they seem happier for it. They no longer have the competition, so who's to complain? Cat1 and Cat2 have food every morning and a lap to lounge in every evening. Life is good!
As well as; La Loca brings them treats of tinned tasties once a week.
No wonder, they're happier with being MY catZ.
Re: With Friends like These cont.
Well, all this care I've given the Geek's catZ; have finally pissed him off.
Why? Because it became something of an emergency- Cat2, still having not been neutered, went out one night and came back with a laceration below his left ear, plus minor cuts and scrapes, from yet another CatFight. It didn't seem so serious at first, but I planned on using the injury as an excuse to MAKE the Geek take Cat2 to the vet, where he should get a full check-up, shots, microchip and FIXING. (the cat I mean)
The Queen beat me to it, by texting the Geek, after Cat2 started scratching his wound and leaving the kitchen all bloody <yuck>. She and I absolutely agreed, a professional veterinarian had to clean that cut out, and Cat2 had to be fitted with a 'Cone of Shame', for his own good!
Textually, the Geek also agreed, and since he believes the CatZ are still his; he said he'd be by the next day to take Cat2 to the doctor.
Nope, didn't happen.
He came by alright ...and dropped off his bio-daughter to visit with her former-step-sisters (I have to admit, that was sweet) and her former cat, but any sort of medical attention was not to be. I thought they were leaving for the vet, when the Geek announces he's taking the girlZ to the mall ...okay.
When he returns it's just to leave his bio-daughter to spend the night, and he drives off sans pussy[!?] ...swiftly, fleeing out of the range of my combat crowbar.
Thanks to cellular technology, I was able to lambast him, long-distance, 'When are you taking him to the vet?'
Real reply; 'Maybe Thursday, need money to do all that stuff.'
My real response; 'It's $200, if you don't have that, I'll treat him but then he's my cat.'
A cellfonic snit ensued with his saying I had no right to take his daughter's cat, and my saying his cat's health couldn't wait for him to get around to it. The hormonal defense doesn't work with it being the middle of winter!
Take care of Cat2 or else he's mine- I'll not stand by while a kitty bleeds all over my freshly cleaned kitchen for no reason! And I'll NOT be having more kittens in the Spring!
Why? Because it became something of an emergency- Cat2, still having not been neutered, went out one night and came back with a laceration below his left ear, plus minor cuts and scrapes, from yet another CatFight. It didn't seem so serious at first, but I planned on using the injury as an excuse to MAKE the Geek take Cat2 to the vet, where he should get a full check-up, shots, microchip and FIXING. (the cat I mean)
The Queen beat me to it, by texting the Geek, after Cat2 started scratching his wound and leaving the kitchen all bloody <yuck>. She and I absolutely agreed, a professional veterinarian had to clean that cut out, and Cat2 had to be fitted with a 'Cone of Shame', for his own good!
Textually, the Geek also agreed, and since he believes the CatZ are still his; he said he'd be by the next day to take Cat2 to the doctor.
Nope, didn't happen.
He came by alright ...and dropped off his bio-daughter to visit with her former-step-sisters (I have to admit, that was sweet) and her former cat, but any sort of medical attention was not to be. I thought they were leaving for the vet, when the Geek announces he's taking the girlZ to the mall ...okay.
When he returns it's just to leave his bio-daughter to spend the night, and he drives off sans pussy[!?] ...swiftly, fleeing out of the range of my combat crowbar.
Thanks to cellular technology, I was able to lambast him, long-distance, 'When are you taking him to the vet?'
Real reply; 'Maybe Thursday, need money to do all that stuff.'
My real response; 'It's $200, if you don't have that, I'll treat him but then he's my cat.'
A cellfonic snit ensued with his saying I had no right to take his daughter's cat, and my saying his cat's health couldn't wait for him to get around to it. The hormonal defense doesn't work with it being the middle of winter!
Take care of Cat2 or else he's mine- I'll not stand by while a kitty bleeds all over my freshly cleaned kitchen for no reason! And I'll NOT be having more kittens in the Spring!
Re: With Friends like These cont.
Well, that worked miserably.
I was surprised the Geek even showed up, but did anything get accomplished?
Of course not, this is the Geek we're talking about here, com'on. Where normal human beings would plan ahead, maybe call the veterinarian beforehand and make an appointment, and ...oh I dunno, make sure that the cat would be here to pick up; these are the kind of things that just don't occur to the Morbidly OGeese.
He didn't even call, just let himself in [Dammit, I gotta get that key back] and nearly got himself shot in the process. Luckily, for him he'd brought along his son as a human shield, and I ALWAYS know my targets- GeekKids are close, but not the true objective.
No, really I was back in the bedroom, blogging with you guys, [Hi guys!] when I heard him come in. The breaking and entering didn't bother me so much, because I have nothing worth stealing anywayZ. So, I figured whoever it was violating the sanctity of my home, probably had a good reason. ...and I recognized his voice; hey, I know my targets by sound too! Target acquisition doesn't always happen in optimum light conditions, ya know.
The Geek really did bring his son over, with him, too. I dunno what for, but I'm glad he did.
That boy instinctively headed straight for the bathroom, and just as naturally, I heard him exclaim, "It's so CLEAN!" Yes, my son, this is what is known as 'housekeeping' some day with further training, you too may obtain this level.
I'm happy he finally got some exposure to it; we can hope it made a lasting impression on his young mind.
This is why it's important to identify first and shoot later, otherwise he might have missed out on the positive influence of proper hygiene, which at times, I have to admit, can be a better motivation than ballistic trauma.
After that shining moment, everything else went downhill.
Cat2, somehow knowing his balls were in the balance, had gone missing hours before.
Not even the cat carrier was to be found, because it wasn't here. The Geek had conveniently forgotten that he'd never brought it back, from when he'd spirited Cat4 away, months ago. The former Geekmate just flustered and whined into his cellphone that, 'Cat2 isn't here!' 'The carrier isn't here!' without asking me, La Loca, feet away in my room, anything, because I might know where that sh!t was ...before making a hasty retreat from his responsibilities as a GeekKat Daddy.
FWIW his bio-daughter did attend to Cat2's wound, it looks a lot better.
I may neuter the damn thing myself anywayZ, it's really not that expensive if you shop around. The Geek is so clueless he'll probably never even notice the difference in his cat. It'll eat, poop and sleep here, but no, it'll still be HIS cat.
I was surprised the Geek even showed up, but did anything get accomplished?
Of course not, this is the Geek we're talking about here, com'on. Where normal human beings would plan ahead, maybe call the veterinarian beforehand and make an appointment, and ...oh I dunno, make sure that the cat would be here to pick up; these are the kind of things that just don't occur to the Morbidly OGeese.
He didn't even call, just let himself in [Dammit, I gotta get that key back] and nearly got himself shot in the process. Luckily, for him he'd brought along his son as a human shield, and I ALWAYS know my targets- GeekKids are close, but not the true objective.
No, really I was back in the bedroom, blogging with you guys, [Hi guys!] when I heard him come in. The breaking and entering didn't bother me so much, because I have nothing worth stealing anywayZ. So, I figured whoever it was violating the sanctity of my home, probably had a good reason. ...and I recognized his voice; hey, I know my targets by sound too! Target acquisition doesn't always happen in optimum light conditions, ya know.
The Geek really did bring his son over, with him, too. I dunno what for, but I'm glad he did.
That boy instinctively headed straight for the bathroom, and just as naturally, I heard him exclaim, "It's so CLEAN!" Yes, my son, this is what is known as 'housekeeping' some day with further training, you too may obtain this level.
I'm happy he finally got some exposure to it; we can hope it made a lasting impression on his young mind.
This is why it's important to identify first and shoot later, otherwise he might have missed out on the positive influence of proper hygiene, which at times, I have to admit, can be a better motivation than ballistic trauma.
After that shining moment, everything else went downhill.
Cat2, somehow knowing his balls were in the balance, had gone missing hours before.
Not even the cat carrier was to be found, because it wasn't here. The Geek had conveniently forgotten that he'd never brought it back, from when he'd spirited Cat4 away, months ago. The former Geekmate just flustered and whined into his cellphone that, 'Cat2 isn't here!' 'The carrier isn't here!' without asking me, La Loca, feet away in my room, anything, because I might know where that sh!t was ...before making a hasty retreat from his responsibilities as a GeekKat Daddy.
FWIW his bio-daughter did attend to Cat2's wound, it looks a lot better.
I may neuter the damn thing myself anywayZ, it's really not that expensive if you shop around. The Geek is so clueless he'll probably never even notice the difference in his cat. It'll eat, poop and sleep here, but no, it'll still be HIS cat.
Re: With Friends like These cont.
The Queen and I were comiserating about the craZy catZ togther, when we finally started comparing notes about the real source of the problem: the former GeekMate.
Since that one attempt at picking up Cat2 for whatever reason (it wasn't for a veterinarian's appointment because he hadn't made one...) the geek hadn't called, texted or ever come back. I finally texted him, because I wanted to know why not and he said he didn't have the money [?]
Hearing that, the Queen retorted incredulously, "What? Isn't that why he moved back in with his parents ...to save money?"
"Well, you know how the Geek is; if he has any money he spends it."
To which, she gave a long, knowing sigh. However the Queen has a right to start insisting on something being done; it's been four months that we've been caring for catZ that aren't ours. She was telling me that she had a boyfriendGOOD FRIEND, no, not a boyfriend [In spite of the fact, that I've never heard her giggle so much during her entire stay, as when he comes over; and that they kiss loudly good-night when he leaves] ...it was not to her boyfriend, just a friend, that she had to explain how complicated the relationship we had with the GeekCatZ was. As she put it, "How can I start dating, if I still have step-catZ?"
Oh well, it may be too late to do anything about Cat2 now anywayZ. I guess, he overheard all our plans, and he's made himself scarce for quite a while; we have't seen him for over ten days. Off hoarding the family jewels, from testosterone treasure takers! That wiley cat!
He knows it would bad enough to lose his nads, but his feline fate would be made even worse by being forced to relocate to where the Geek had dumped all of his other living liabilities, that he couldn't care for: his Ex-Wife's house. This is the woman he was once legally married to, and the bio-mother of his children. The one who used to share custody with the Geek, but now has been given ALL the kids!
So yea, you thought it was crowded here, in humble Casa de Loca?
At his ex-Wife's house, with her new husband, thier two bio-kids, the five cats she already had; the total number of residents under that roof after the Geekmate's finished handing all of his family responsiblities over to her, will be: eight humans and eight cats. Many of whom don't get along well with each other.
Is this what he wants to do? Nope. Will he try anything else? Not likely, it's just not in him to make that kind of effort.
The biggest thing he has to a future plan, and he has one, one that isn't going to work: is moving back HERE.
Yeah, all based on the assumption, that I wanted him to come back, he never even so much as asked, ya see. He told me; "When the Queen moves out, I'll just move back in with you." This was all immediately after the break-up, and I haven't had the heart to tell him, No, that's not gonna happen. I'm hoping he figures it out, when I take the key back. In the meantime, what I thought he'd use the key for was clearing the last of his stuff out [he didn't - I did] and picking up Cat2 for neutering ...so, that's where we are now, folks.
Since that one attempt at picking up Cat2 for whatever reason (it wasn't for a veterinarian's appointment because he hadn't made one...) the geek hadn't called, texted or ever come back. I finally texted him, because I wanted to know why not and he said he didn't have the money [?]
Hearing that, the Queen retorted incredulously, "What? Isn't that why he moved back in with his parents ...to save money?"
"Well, you know how the Geek is; if he has any money he spends it."
To which, she gave a long, knowing sigh. However the Queen has a right to start insisting on something being done; it's been four months that we've been caring for catZ that aren't ours. She was telling me that she had a boyfriendGOOD FRIEND, no, not a boyfriend [In spite of the fact, that I've never heard her giggle so much during her entire stay, as when he comes over; and that they kiss loudly good-night when he leaves] ...it was not to her boyfriend, just a friend, that she had to explain how complicated the relationship we had with the GeekCatZ was. As she put it, "How can I start dating, if I still have step-catZ?"
Oh well, it may be too late to do anything about Cat2 now anywayZ. I guess, he overheard all our plans, and he's made himself scarce for quite a while; we have't seen him for over ten days. Off hoarding the family jewels, from testosterone treasure takers! That wiley cat!
He knows it would bad enough to lose his nads, but his feline fate would be made even worse by being forced to relocate to where the Geek had dumped all of his other living liabilities, that he couldn't care for: his Ex-Wife's house. This is the woman he was once legally married to, and the bio-mother of his children. The one who used to share custody with the Geek, but now has been given ALL the kids!
So yea, you thought it was crowded here, in humble Casa de Loca?
At his ex-Wife's house, with her new husband, thier two bio-kids, the five cats she already had; the total number of residents under that roof after the Geekmate's finished handing all of his family responsiblities over to her, will be: eight humans and eight cats. Many of whom don't get along well with each other.
Is this what he wants to do? Nope. Will he try anything else? Not likely, it's just not in him to make that kind of effort.
The biggest thing he has to a future plan, and he has one, one that isn't going to work: is moving back HERE.
Yeah, all based on the assumption, that I wanted him to come back, he never even so much as asked, ya see. He told me; "When the Queen moves out, I'll just move back in with you." This was all immediately after the break-up, and I haven't had the heart to tell him, No, that's not gonna happen. I'm hoping he figures it out, when I take the key back. In the meantime, what I thought he'd use the key for was clearing the last of his stuff out [he didn't - I did] and picking up Cat2 for neutering ...so, that's where we are now, folks.
Re: With Friends like These cont.
Changing the lock might get the point across....I'm hoping he figures it out, when I take the key back.
