oldr_n_wsr's alcoholic adventure

[Gob]

Alcohol, 5 things no one tells you about quitting.

It's from a humour site, so to be taken with a pinch of salt. I'd be interested what O-n-W and others have to say about it though...

[loCAtek]

Yeah, the most successful quitters, I encounter haven't quit due to therapy, but the because of the fact, that a doctor told them they were going to die.

This ain't true: "alcohol suppresses the appetite" An aperitif (a stiff drink) traditionally stimulated the appetite, which is why it sounds like appetizer. Less drink and more food, kinda balances out to the same amount of poo.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Incorrect (for me anyway). I lost about 30 pounds during my two years of real alcholism. Eating was secondary to drinking. On the weekend, I would go out to work on the yard at 10am, make an excuse to go to Home Depot so I could pick up a quart (or liter) on the way. The rest of the day was spent between drinking and workng in the yard until about 3pm then a nap was in order. Still haven't eaten anything that day only had a few cups of coffe in the morning. After the nap, found another excuse to go get a pint as I knew whatever I had left in the quart would not last very long. Got home with either a pint (or maybe a quart if I had the extra money) and did some more yardwork drinking. My wifen would have dinner ready around 6-7pm and that would be the first food I would eat that day.

Weekdays I would eat a sandwhich for lunch but not much for dinner. Too much food would take up hte room needed for alcohol.


My mom quit when she got the "warning". Me, I hope I have headed it off although I am sure between my drinking and smoking I have taken years off my life. But then again, the average age of my grandparents when they died is over 87 years. My dad is 79 this year and I would have to work out for 6 months to be in as good shape as him.

[Sean]

Alcohol is indeed a known appetite suppressant. Aperitifs serve not to stimulate the appetite but the palate. The word has nothing to do with appetiser either. It comes from 'aper' (French maybe?) meaning 'open' (as in aperture).

[oldr_n_wsr]

Alcohol is indeed a known appetite suppressant.

That's what I thought, as long as I was drinkking I was not hungry.

Having stopped drinking I seem to always be hungry and am eating a lot more sugary things than anytime before. I never really liked sugary things (cake, cookies, etc). Trying to satisfy that sugar craving with fruit rather than cookies and cakes. Ate alonst half a watermelon and last and did eat 3/4 of a cantelope tonight (would have ate the whole thing but my wife beat me to the last 1/4).

[Rick]

As for smell.

True alkies are not the most hygienic folks on the planet.

They always stank but when they sobered up a bit they noticed...

[Gob]

A lot of heavy drinkers will go without food deliberately as it speeds the alcohol flow to the brain. Alcoholics get Wernicke's disease and Korsakoff's syndrome caused by a deficiency of vitamin B1, also called thiamine.

[Gob]

Fish oil supplements have been hailed as a wonder treatment for conditions ranging from autism to dementia. Now new evidence suggests the omega 3 fatty acids could tackle alcohol abuse as well. Scientists from the Indian University School of Medicine made the discovery by chance when studying whether fish oil had any benefit for bipolar disorder. Lead author Dr Alexander Niculescu found that the fatty acid DHA, which is the main ingredient of fish oil, 'normalised' behaviour of mice with the condition.

'They are not depressed and when subjected to stress they do not become manic,' Dr Niculescu said. However, an unexpected finding of the research was that the fatty acid also reduced the desire for alcohol.
'These bipolar mice, like some bipolar patients, love alcohol,' Dr Niculescu said. 'The mice on DHA drank much less, it curtailed their alcohol abusive behaviour.'


The researchers then gave DHA to alcohol-preferring rats and noted a similar effect. 'We believe a diet rich in omega 3 fatty acids may help the treatment and prevention of bipolar disorder, and may help with alcoholism as well,' Dr Niculescu said. He said there was now substantial evidence at the molecular level that omega-3 fatty acids worked on the brain in a similar way to psychiatric drugs. He added that the next step would be clinical studies in humans. 'A lot more work needs to be done in this area,' Dr Niculescu said.

The study was reported in the online journal Translational Psychiatry.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic ... z1NbRBf8X0

[oldr_n_wsr]

my daily vitamin has omega-3
Anything that helps.

ETA
And due to a stunt I pulled while drunk and high on mescaline, I no longer have a sense of smell (haven't since October 31st, 1980).

[alice]

I knew then that mom had died. I smoked my cigarette and I slept until 10am the next morning and was the last one to wake up. By then everyone else knew and before they even told me I told them that mom was dead. My wife looked shocked and I told them the story from teh night before. They all thouhgt I was dreaming until I told them it happened around 3:20am and they realized dad had said mom died around 3:15am.

Think what you may, I know what I believe. So mom, thanks for your hand in helping me get through this, be it from the great beyond, from the lessons I learned from you or the insperation you were to me.

I think it shows what a strong bond you had with your mother. I don't know the AA steps and beliefs on this matter, but I really think she may be the third step 'higher power' that is helping you now. You have referred to her a few times and it is obvious that she continues to inspire you and motivate you - it seems in keeping with an 'invisible presence' higher power.

I drank, not through choice but entirely through accident. I wish I had had the urge to drink more after I took the gulp and a half and had fought off the urge but there was no urge at all. Now I have to fight off the thought that I could have a drink or two as I already did and didn't have the urge to have another drink. To the alcoholic one drink is too many and I have to remind myself that I cannot have even one drink.

I understand what you're saying, but isn't it also a good thing that you didn't have the urge to drink more? I thought it was great that as soon as you realised it was alcohol you spat it out and didn't drink more.
It seemed that something in you was already 'programmed' to reject the alcohol. Otherwise you wouldn't have been so quick to spit it out. So I took it that it was a good thing that your immediate response was that you were angry / upset about it and had no lingering feeling of pleasantness associated with the drinking experience.
So I thought it would mean that you could go somewhere where others were drinking alcohol and feel more confident that you won't have any. And in fact be annoyed if it was offered to you.

Having said that, I'm not addicted to alcohol and only know that my family members haven't been able to stop, even when it is medically advised that they cease immediately. So my comments are more that I'm trying to understand and support you, rather than intended as any knowledge on the subject.

I like what Crackpot said

So frame it keep it in it's proper reference and don't allow your ego a chance to believe that it is has power over your addiction rather that you were taken by surprise by something that you weren't expecting and didn't want.

[loCAtek]

Alcohol is indeed a known appetite suppressant.

That's what I thought, as long as I was drinkking I was not hungry.

Having stopped drinking I seem to always be hungry and am eating a lot more sugary things than anytime before. I never really liked sugary things (cake, cookies, etc). Trying to satisfy that sugar craving with fruit rather than cookies and cakes. Ate alonst half a watermelon and last and did eat 3/4 of a cantelope tonight (would have ate the whole thing but my wife beat me to the last 1/4).

Try the L-Glutamine, it takes care of the poo problem too.

[oldr_n_wsr]

I had been composing a story on this past weekend which included how bad it was going for me and then finding out two other families are having life and death decisions basically making my "weekend sorrows" pale in comparison.

I don't know if that experience has added to my malaise but I am feeling down today. Basically I am tired of staying sober. I am tired of going to AA meetings (but I still went tonight and got my hand up and shared this) and I am tired of going to outpatient therapy (which I will share with the counselor tomorrow as I was not tired of going when I went this morning).

Truth be told I did drink today and I have shared this at my AA meeting and will tell my IOP counselor/group tomorrow even if it means my discharge. It was only 1/2 pint but that is nothing but a rationalization.

I am tired. I am wiped out. This is harder than I thought it would be. I can stay sober for x number of days but then I just want to have a few. I know I cannot just have a few because as I am typing this I want, I need, I have to have more alcohol as I had some earlier. But the stores are closed and the only thing around is wine and I don't want wine (although if I went "postal" on the wife she would tell me where the 1/2 gallon of vodka is hidden, but I am not "that" far gone YET!!!).

Don't know what else to say. I have shared all this with both my sponsors and the recommendations are the usual, "call me before not after", "identify the triggers and remember them for next time", "keep going to meetings". I know they care and want me succeed but I am the one who has to want to succeed and right now I don't know if I want to. I have discussed this with my wife and I am scaring her. I said "deep down I really just want to disappear, to get on my bike and ride til I can't ride anymore and then ride some more".

I have no sense of worth having not had a job since february and being in AA and IOP since then. My whole lifes job is staying sober and the "work" is the same day after day after day. At least when I had a job, things changed. Sure it was still eletrical design, but the specifics changed. Here, the "job" is just staying sober, and the way one does it is the same every day. It get tedious and tiresome.


Sorry for the downer, but I am feeling down and puting this down in ascii has helped.

[Gob]

I'm glad it helped mate.

Is there anything yuou are doing to fill the gap that quitting has left? Have you taken on any new challeneges or activities?

[dales]

This is from your heart and that is WHAT IS IMPORTANT now.

There are times when all the AA Platitudes seem like rubbish. I've been there.

The unemployment situation is a monster and if it brings any comfort, you are not alone in doubting your self-worth in an economy that is far from ever recovering.

I've had a few re-lapses, the allure of getting drunk/high is sometimes just too strong. I understand this and so should any sponsor.

As far as therapy group is concerned, I believe if you were discharged, that would be very detremental to your recovery. Group is a very powerful motivator toward healing and self-discovery, I don't know what parameters are involved in your participation in the group, they seem a little too black and white for my tastes.

Having been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and participated in Group Therapy, I can attest to the efficacy to the group process dynamic. Along with personal psychotherapy and medication for my own recovery.

I've been on all the most common SSRI's and SNRI's for over a decade and battled with substance abuse for almost as long. A failed marriage, extended unemployment, and other personal sebacks have a way of taking the wind out one's sails.

I know there are people here that are pulling for you, I am one of them.

[oldr_n_wsr]

thanks to all especially your experiences dales (not discounting anything anyone else says as all suggestions/remarks/advice are useful). As they say, it takes one to know one. Just feeling a little down today as I have in the past but a little more so today. Tomorrow I'll probably be fine as I found a picture I really want to put on a piece of wood with the wood burning I have been doing. I should have started it tonight, but started looking around the planb and haven't started it yet. And I am ready for sleep now.

[loCAtek]

Don't worry dude, it really ain't easy. Doing it overnight isn't likely, so recover your own way. Fork the judgementalists, who haven't been, where you've been.

Just fork'em, and be who you are.

[The Hen]

I must have missed the posts from oldr where he had posted about being judged.

Never accept judgements from those that are irrelevant.

[Rick]

Tomorrow I'll probably be fine as I found a picture I really want to put on a piece of wood with the wood burning I have been doing.

Theres ya a start.

A little cottage industry, proly won't get rich but a small web site & who knows.

I had an uncle that made fishing lures and sold them online...

[Guinevere]

Oldr, I wonder if it would help your perspective any to think of this time when you aren't working as a gift, not a burden. It is not very often that mid-career (or later) professionals have the opportunity to take a step back and work on themselves and their lives, without the stresses and demands of work. I understand not being employed has its own stresses, but I hope you can find your way to joy and happiness in yourself. You are not your work, you are a person who works. And for the moment, your work is all about you.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Fork the judgementalists, who haven't been, where you've been.

As Hen pointed out, I have not seen nor interpreted anyones posts to be judgemental of me and my "circumstances". In fact I have found everyone here to be supportive even in the face of my restarts. I could see where, if the restarts continue, the support would diminish as people would get fed up with my "not serious commitment" to sobriety. And I wouldn't blame them. But I have no intention of that.

Oldr, I wonder if it would help your perspective any to think of this time when you aren't working as a gift, not a burden. It is not very often that mid-career (or later) professionals have the opportunity to take a step back and work on themselves and their lives, without the stresses and demands of work. I understand not being employed has its own stresses, but I hope you can find your way to joy and happiness in yourself. You are not your work, you are a person who works. And for the moment, your work is all about you.

Excellent observation Guinevere I have thought along those lines for these past few months. That maybe it is better, in the grand scheme of things,for me not having to juggle recovery and job pressures both at once. Doesn't help the financial picture any, but thankfully we have been pretty frugal savers and spenders all our lives/marriage so it's not like we are anywhere near destitute.

Keld
People have mentioned that to me. Only problem is it takes time to produce, too much to be profitable. But seeing as I am not making any money, some is better than none. There is a "country" store around here that sells things like these that I could possibly approach and perhaps rent some "shelf space" for displaying my wares. I also have made wishing well flower pots and christmas ornament sleds that were the biggest hit a couple of years ago at my moms side of the families Christmas party. Voted best ornament ever by my cousins and Aunts.