oldr_n_wsr's alcoholic adventure

[Gob]

I take whatever concept I have of spirituality from the beauty I see all around me. I do not thank anyone for it, as I do not believe there is anyone to thank, but it is still spiritually uplifting just to appreciate it.

[dales]

If looking at a gorgeous scene from nature keeps one sober just one more minute, that in itself is a victory.

[Jarlaxle]

I find dealing with most religious a**holes gives me an overwhelming desire for a DRINK!

(Sorry, I am dreading the Catholic wedding I have been collared to attend. We now return to our regularly-scheduled thread, already in progress.)

[dales]

Well, you've just had the misfortune of dealing with the wrong kind of religious assholes.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Nothing to drink over but I am bummed and feel really bad for my cousin Lori as she is the sole survivor of the family.

My Uncle Bob died yesterday. He wasn't a "blood" uncle but my dad and Uncle Bobs first wife, Helen (who died a few years ago) knew each other since they were 4 yo and grew up together. They were my parents best friends and our families did everything together. Went went on vacations together, went out on Uncle Bobs boat fishing and partying. I went hunting and fishing with their remaining son Ricky. Our parents would put the two of us on a bus to a hunting camp or up to Connecticut to his grandparents house in the woods. Up there (and elsewhere) we would catch frogs and snakes and turtles in the summer and hunt rabbits in the winter. His family and mine would rent houses on the outer banks of NC and do deep sea fishing, and parasailing and jetsking and water skiing together.

That family had more than a few bad things happen to them over the years. Bobby junior (less than a year older than me) was hit by a car and killed way back in 1970 when he and I were both 12yo. Bob and Helen got divorced. The other son Ricky died of pancreatic cancer back in 2006 when he was only 46 or 47. Then Helen fell in the bathroom and hit her head and died trying to get to the phone to call for help (brain hemmorage or something like that). Now it's only my cousin Lori left of the family. My dad is her Godfather. Tried calling her last night but got her machine. I'll try again tonight and already sent an email to her. I told her we are adopting her into our family so now she has two new brothers a new sister and her kids have new aunts and uncles and grandfather.

Uncle Bob is being creamated and a ceremony is being held down in Florida (he lived down there with his second wife Dee) then another ceremony and burial of his ashes will be held up here at a later date. He has to be buried in his military grave (Uncle Bob was a Navy veteran) as his first son is buried there. If his ashes are not buried there his first son will be dug up and need to be moved. And we secretly buried some of Ricky's ashes there last year which was Ricky's wish. We also scattered some in the ocean as he was a big time fisherman, and Lori has some of his ashes. Ricky was a world traveler so it's fitting his ashes are all over the place.

I'm bummed


Thanks for listening.

[Gob]

Commiserations Bob sounds like a hell of a guy.

[Rick]

Sorry oldr.

I have been thinkin of firin up a fatty here lately ain't thought of that in a long time.

I won't of course, but the thought was there all the same...

[Gob]

Funny that, me too Rick.

[dales]

Me three?

[oldr_n_wsr]

Got another whammy yesterday. Called up a guy I usually give a ride to on meetings on Wednesday (and monday's and fridays) and he's drinking again. He had stopped for about a month and now he's out there again. He's on probabtion for a felony DWI and his PO has been pretty lenient on him through his relapses. He completed a 9 month outpatient stint late last year and then drank. PO didn't kknow about that race. He was due to get his license back in June. He stopped around Jan. 1 and then he started again. PO found out about that and "open ended" when he would get his license back and had him go back to counseling. He had stopped but he picked up again tuesday. Talked to him last night and he wondered why he keeps doing it. I told him 'cause he's an alcoholic. Told him I would keep in touch. All I can do is keep my hand extended in help, he has to take hold of it (for a hand up, not to drag me down).

I'm bummed again


And I haven't heard from another guy I usually give rides to. Hopefully he''s working long hours and not out there also.

Maybe it's me?

[dales]

No, its the nature of the disease.

[oldr_n_wsr]

No, its the nature of the disease.

I know.
I can only control me, no one else.
And even controlling me is not a certainty.

[oldr_n_wsr]

An update
My buddy is upstate NY in a 28 day rehab center. The day before mothers day he calls me and says he needs to go somewhere to get help. I call around and there are no beds but at this hospital detox center out in Greenport LI. I pick him up and make the 90minute drive out there. Only problem is they won't take him as he blows a 3.7. They will only take him when he is detoxing. (I'm supposed to be at the inlaws for mothers day that saturday as we were celebrating a day early to avoid the rush)

So he wants me to check him into a hotel to sleep it off (right next door to the hospital) and he promises go to the hospotal the next morning. On mothers day (also my 29th anniversary) the wife and I take a ride out east to Greenport as it's a nice little town on the peconic bay. So we wonder around the toown and she buys some plants and flowers at the greenhouse on the way out there. While we are there we stop in at the hospital to see if my buddy checked hiself in. Patient confidentiality laws does not permit them to tell yes or no. So I go over the hotel and find out he did check out around 9am that morning.

A few days go by and I find out from his ex-wife that he did check into the hospital and spent 5 days there detoxing then they sent him upstate for rehab.

All's well that ends well. that is of course if he decides to stay sober this time

The other friend has been working a lot these past few weeks and is sober. He came to the meeting last night and says his work has slowed (he's a carpenter and Sandy work is in full swing) a bit so he'll be coming to more meetings.

All is going well for me although I seem to be developing a couple of resentments against a couple of people in my group. One is a lady who was dating another member of the group and they broke up as she relapsed (not her first) and he told her he couldn't be around her. He used to take her to/from the meetings and now she doesn't have a ride, besides being wacked out about the breakup. So she asked me to give her a ride and now I have become her taxi service. If I can't give her a ride, she doesn't make a meeting. Now I don't mind giving her a ride as she is on the way, but how is it I am her only sorce of rides? Added to that she has a complex and thinks everyone is shutting her out. Honest truth is she has that affect on people. I told her to call between 5 and 5:30pm if she needs a ride. So she calls at 5:01 and my wife tells her I'm not home yet and that I will call here when I get in. But that's not good enough, she will call at least 4 more times between then and when I get home. I've been getting home later lately as I am a little backed up at work.

I told her she only has to call once that I will call her back and won't "blow her off". She appologizes but within a few days she does it again. My sponsor says to cut her loose, but I can't......yet. They say in AA don't not help another alcoholic, but it is getting to that point. Last night I told my wife I was running late and that if she called to tell her I was running late and that when I got home I was going to ride my motorcycle to the meeting. Did not go over well. She accused me of "blowing her off" and I said, I did not get to ride my MC over the weekend as it rained and I wanted to ride that night, that I cannot and will not be her only ride to meetings. She seemed to calm down after that and she ended up finding another ride to the meeting and then appologized to me and I told her I woudl try and give her more time to find a ride in the future.

Another resentment I am getting is for another member of the group. He's a 17 yo guy and he lives out of the way if he needs a ride to a meeting. Another person who seems to put all his eggs in oldr's taxi service. I don't mind once in a while, but again, every group meeting? He takes me 20-30minutes out of my way to get him to the meeting. That and I told him he needs to call between 5-5:30pm so I can set up who I have to pick up and what time I need to leave to get everyone there on time. Also, I do things around the house before going to the meetings so if he calls for a ride I need to plan what I can and cannot do before going.

But does he call when I tell him? of course not. He calls at say 6:15pm, and I say I'll pick him up, and we all get there late as he just added 1/2 hour ot the trip. I told him from now on, if he calls later than 5:30 that he should not bother as my answer will be "no, I'm not picking you up."


But I did have some kind of "clarity". About a week ago I realized that the obsession to drink is gone. It had been gone for about a week before I realized it as I had to think back to the last time I obsessed over it. But it's gone now. Thanks to whom/what-ever. Sure I still have the thoughts about how nice a beer would beor a nice T-N-T (right after cutting the lawn) but they are fleeting and not obsessions.

All for now.
Thanks for listening.

[Gob]

But I did have some kind of "clarity". About a week ago I realized that the obsession to drink is gone. It had been gone for about a week before I realized it as I had to think back to the last time I obsessed over it.

That is really good news mate!

[dales]

But I did have some kind of "clarity". About a week ago I realized that the obsession to drink is gone. It had been gone for about a week before I realized it as I had to think back to the last time I obsessed over it. But it's gone now. Thanks to whom/what-ever. Sure I still have the thoughts about how nice a beer would beor a nice T-N-T (right after cutting the lawn) but they are fleeting and not obsessions.

All for now.
Thanks for listening.

There's the "numinous moment" that Carl Jung spoke of when he wrote to Bill W.

ONE DAY AT A TIME.....DON'T WORRY ABOUT WANTING A DRINK

[Lord Jim]

Only problem is they won't take him as he blows a 3.7.

Oldr, I'm assuming you mean a .37 (Which would be pretty bad, even for an experienced drinker; but I've got to think that a person with a 3.7 BAC would probably be dead.)

[dales]

Good catch, Jim......

[oldr_n_wsr]

Only problem is they won't take him as he blows a 3.7.

Oldr, I'm assuming you mean a .37 (Which would be pretty bad, even for an experienced drinker; but I've got to think that a person with a 3.7 BAC would probably be dead.)

OOOOPPPPPS!!!!
Yes 0.37. And above 0.3 is not that rare for alcoholics who have been daily drinking for many years.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Having reconciled with steps two and three, (sponsor agrees) I am starting on the forth step.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
I am rereading the Big Book and the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions book, making notes and highlighting and basically looking inside myself.
Drinking is but a symptom of deeper problems. but I also did like to drink. I liked the taste, I liked the warmth, I liked the "head", I even liked the sneaking around. I did not like the "have to drink" part nor the feelings afterward (remorse, guilt, uselessness, self pitty, etc).

I am much calmer and peaceful now and want to stay that way. The obsession is gone, now I need to work on being a better person and then pass what I have found on to others similarly afflicted.

[dales]

I am much calmer and peaceful now and want to stay that way. The obsession is gone, now I need to work on being a better person and then pass what I have found on to others similarly afflicted.

Pour yerself a nice cold iced tea!