oldr_n_wsr's alcoholic adventure

[Guinevere]

Me either. Although I'm a more laid back and hip version of a type A than LJ

[oldr_n_wsr]

Spoke at a meeting in Stony Brook last night. I may go back as the ride there was a nice backroad trip. I took the car as i had no idea where it was. I checked the map and wrote down a few road names and made it. Next time I'll take the motorcycle.

might have picked up another protege, time will tell. He's a chronic beginner like I was but after talking to him I wonder if he is "done yet". Told him to give me a call either today or tomorrow and we'll set a plan of action that fits our schedules.

My other protege is doing well. Longest I ever had one to show the program to. We meet either saturday night after a meeting or sunday night before a meeting for an hour or two and go over the program. I'll be doing the steps along with him as it's good for me to review the program and to show him how I did it.

Uncharted waters, but the sailing is smooth for now.

[Gob]

Good on yer mate!

[oldr_n_wsr]

Son of a bitch. Another young person OD'd and died over the weekend.
Her dad is in the rooms (a member of our group) and he has been trying to get her to stay in the program.
I met her a couple of times.
Her husband od'd and died 5 years ago.
She leaves behind a 7yo son who has been in the custody of the grandparents (the guy in my group and his wife).

I am bummed out again.
Prayers to her and all who have passed, to their families left behind and for those still suffering out there. There is a better way, please come and get it.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Another empty chair.
His name is Ben.
He overdosed at Hope House Ministries this past Saturday night.
He was 22yo.
His wake was yesterday.

Talked to a cop at the wake. He said he sees at least 3 people a week die from overdoses in his precinct alone.

Too many. Too often.

[Long Run]

Sorry to hear this. We have to come up with a better way to address the drug epidemic.

[oldr_n_wsr]

In the span of 48 hours last weekend there were 22 heroin and/or fentanyl overdoses (with one fatality) here on long island (nassau and suffolk counties).
Out of control. Wish I had a way to fix it all, but all I can do is show them the way I got sober. If they don't want help, there is nothing we can do.
We do need more "after care" places. Not sober houses, many of which are anything but sober. The landlords usually care more about how many they can pack in (thus more DSS money) than the tenants staying sober.
We need more places like Hope House ministries, and even in that facility there have been od's and resultant deaths (like Ben two weeks ago and Andrew a year ago.....). But at least they have rules and behaviour expectations and teach how to cope without the alcohol and drugs AND host daily aa and na meetings where one possible solution can be found.

Oh, and I was wrong about Bens age, he had just turned 25.
Sorry Ben.

Spoke at a big book meeting last night. There was a "chronic beginner" there (much like I was early in aa ). He asked for my phone number (and I gave it to him). Hope he calls.

[BoSoxGal]

Overdose - now the LEADING cause of death for persons under 50 years of age!

And, more Americans dead of overdose in one year that the entire Vietnam War American death toll.

2015 was the worst year for drug overdose deaths in US history. Then 2016 came along.

Meanwhile the media obsesses over the real life Apprentice and the news barely talks about the plague of overdoses, and how few the resources being invested in treatment and prevention. And maybe we should talk a little bit more about how our new AG wants to go back to incarcerating everyone in possession of drugs to the tune of billions per year, instead of treating and rehabilitating them at a fraction of the cost - like the rest of the developed nations do.



Condolences on your losses, oldr.

[datsunaholic]

This is the reason when the ER docs prescribed me Vicodin a couple weeks ago I never opened the freaking bottle. I'd rather live with the pain than get addicted to a narcotic. And it was the worst pain I've ever had in my life, worse than the pain I had after 2 episodes requiring stitches, and worse than both times I broke bones in my foot. 11 freaking days of blinding, pound the floor can't sleep pain, and I didn't touch the stuff. I know too many people who pop the stuff like candy for "everyday aches and pains".

[oldr_n_wsr]

Condolences on your losses, oldr.

Thank you.

Another OD.
Right in front of my neighbors house. I had just let the dog out as a ups truck stopped to deliver a package. My dogs "job" is to get deliveries be it the newspaper, mail or packages. And he does his job. Don't ever get in the way of his appointed rounds I go to the backyard and get my motorcycle out of the shed and all the while the dog is barking. I figure he's "talking" to the delivery guy and ride my bike to the driveway. I notice a car stopped in front of my neighbors wiht 3 police cars lights flashing and all that. I go to the end of the driveway and the cops are "bagging" some young lady who is laying in the street. No movement, no nothing from her. They administer narcan (nasal spray version) as the ambulance pulls up. The young lady then "pops" awake and starts fighting with the cops. They get her calmed down and into the ambulance and away she goes.

Cops search her fellow passengers (driver, and two other passengers) and confiscate something (I couldn't see exactly what), then they are all picked up by friends/relatives/whomever and someone comes and drives the car away.

Anyway, turns out suffolk county (maybe the state?) has a good samaritan type law where they don't bust people for calling in a possible OD. It was eneacted after a number of users died of od's when people should have called it in but didn't for fear of being busted.

This young lady was saved. I hope she gets the help she probably needs.

As bsg's post shows (and thanks for that) od's are more deadly than ever before. I think fentanyl has a lot to do with it
While I hear of some people who are thankful for being jailed (mostly just to detox and spend time away from the drug) this can be accomplished at dedicated detox centers, of which we need more of. Then we need better insurance coverage that actually covers a month or more at in-patient rehab and then continued monitoring and care be it NA, AA, out-patient or all of the above.

After meeting with my sponsee for an hour or so (on step two) we went to an anniversary meeting. Mother/daughter both celebrated one year. What a loving pair of celebrants. The daughter had come into the rooms and was so taken by what she experienced, she urged her mother to come and mom did come in within days of her daughters first attendence. Their whole family was there with them along with the daughters boyfriend. They each spoke for the other. I have seen other parent/sibling pairs in the rooms but never with such a similar anniversary date.
Warms the heart and hopefully makes an impact on a newcomer or even an old time chronic relapser who sees there really is a better way of life.

[Big RR]

Getting beyond an addiction is possible, but as you have shown oldr it takes a lot of determination and hard work. I've seen some people turn their lives around, and others relapse again and again (usually insisting they have "no problem"). Glad to hear of a success story.

[oldr_n_wsr]

others relapse again and again (usually insisting they have "no problem").

I was a chronic beginner*, although I realised I had a problem. I just thought I could do it "my way". That I was just "weak willed". I have since learned different.


*I didn't consider not drinking for a week or a month then drinking again a "relapse". Others may have a different opinion on that.

And on another note, any update on that young lady you spoke of months ago Big RR?

[Big RR]

Last report is that she is doing well in her inpatient program; she has a few more months before she will be discharged, but she appears determined. After discharge she should have intensive outpatient services to follow up and I believe is participating in an NA group now. I'll let you know if I hear more.

BTW, if you didn't consider it a "relapse", what was it? Perhaps a test to prove you weren't addicted, only needed to detox?

[oldr_n_wsr]

I believe (and this is only my opinion) that if it is only "dry time" and a short period before the next drink it is not a relapse. One needs to have some sober time (restored to sanity, soundness of mind, etc) and possbily work on the steps (if in the program) before the that drink is considered a relapse.

On another thought, a relapse starts before you take the drink. When the stinking thinking returns.

My own journey was 2-1/2 years of cronic beginnerism. That is 1day drink, 1 week drink, 1 month drink, 1 day drink......
When I finally went and did the work and had peace of mind and a return to sanity, then picked back up after 15 months, that I consider a relapse. And my relapse started 5 weeks before I picked up the drink (drinking only lasted 2 weeks) for a total of a 7 week relapse. There are some that say my relapse ended the day I picked up the drink and only was 5 weeks long.

Of course it took some time and work (and reworking of the steps and lessons learned) after that to return to sanity (some may say I am not sane and never was, but that can be discussed) .

Other's may differ on this view, and that is ok by me.
My way (or thoughts) is not the only way (or thinking).

[oldr_n_wsr]

Perhaps a test to prove you weren't addicted, only needed to detox?

The big book would define them as a "heavy drinkers".
Drinkers who do not suffer from the mental obsession AND/OR those who can stop on their own or can stop when sufficently motivated like a spouse/family/job/law. All they need is some time away from a drink and when they do pick back up they can moderate.
Me, when I picked back up either during the early years and afer 15months, I went right back to over a quart a day with the obsession every waking moment (and even dreaming about it sometimes).
I could not stop on my own and forever thank the program of aa for the solution.

But as RayThom's example shows, aa is not the only answer/solution. and I do believe he is a "real" alcoholic

[RayThom]

... But as RayThom's example shows, aa is not the only answer/solution. and I do believe he is a "real" alcoholic

My recurring blackouts were a strong motivator towards considering sobriety. AA made me realize how strong my alcohol addiction was but the "churchy," forced participation, scared me away. I knew I could do better on my own, especially once I was totally clean and sober -- about four months later.

Staying busy was the key for me, so between work, school, theater, and flying, I had little struggle sailing over my sea of troubled waters.

My wonderful and loving daughter NEVER had to experience any of my drunken behavior and considers me to be her best influence in her life -- family or professional -- and that makes me an extremely happy man.

November 15, 1981 was the best day of my life even though the journey from then to now never went totally as planned and, I suppose, that's life, right?

I did the right thing. Life is good.

[oldr_n_wsr]

I did the right thing. Life is good.

You're a hero in my book too.

I have two types of days now, Good days and Great days.
Good days are days when everything goes right and I don't think about a drink
Great days are days when everything goes wrong and I don't think about a drink.
heard that at a meeting and decide I would "borrow" it

[BoSoxGal]

Here's an interesting piece for those who believe the medical profession is blameless re: the opiod crisis:

https://www.vox.com/2017/6/5/15111936/o ... t-virginia

[oldr_n_wsr]

There are a few (maybe more than a few) doctors here on long island who have been arrested/charged for over prescribing opioids (I think that ended in the death of at least one patient).
Suffolk county filed suit against a number of big pharmacy companies (Purdue Pharma and Endo were two) last year and Nassau county just filed suit yesterday. I believe Erie and Broome counties also have suits filed. They are all trying to recoup money the counties have layed out battling the opioid crisis.

There is no magic bullet that will "fix" this. I hear kids in meetings "bragging" that it took four doses of narcan to bring them back.


I pray I don't hear of nor see any more od's. I am getting tired of it.
I fear of becoming desensitized to it as many of the kids I meet have become.
I pray they all find whatever help they need.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Saw my buddy Stan last night (I probably mentioned him in past posts but I am too lazy to go back and see when). He was leaving a meeting and I was going to the meeting after the one he was leaving.
He came in to the rooms around the time I did. Actually there were 5 of us that came in around the same time (summer of 2010). Of those, only 2 of us have stuck around. A ver nice lady Sabrina and I. She took to the program right away and has 6 (or 7) years clean now. (i'm coming up on 3 years).

But Stan is back.
He's been drinking daily/hourly for the last year or so. Fell down and knocked himself out 10 days ago. Ended up in the hospital with a heart not beating correctly (de-fib???) and almost died. Doc told him if he drinks anymore he will be dead. Hope he listens this time. He's got 10 days without a drink. Still shakin-n-bakin though.

He says he has a sponsor and is starting on the steps. I'm supposed to go to a meeting with him tonight. If he doesn't call I'll give him a call. He could probably use a friend and meeting "mate" until he gets back into the swing of things.

I heard another "saying" that I liked at a meeting the other day:
"We are spiritual beings on a human journey"