oldr_n_wsr's alcoholic adventure

[Lord Jim]

1960's surely?

Or very early 70's....

I date it to somewhere between '67-'72.....

[Rick]

Floppy hat, long hair, beard.

1970...

[Gob]

Mead is actually Ritchie Blackmore! I claim my $10.

[Rick]

[Lord Jim]

Floppy hat, long hair, beard.

1970...

Definitely got that Woodstock thing goin' on....

[The Hen]

Meade looks like an old beau of mine.

Is that you Tony?

[Sean]

Do I hear 1950's?

1960's going once...

[MajGenl.Meade]

F**k y'all! It was 1974. I was on holiday from the UK and sleeping for three months in a cupboard in Cleveland Hts OH, one of those long under the stairs (except no stairs) kind of cupboards with a mattress in it. One night after a wild game of "Passout" (I made up cards - 'exchange underwear with the person on your left') in which there was way too much alcohol consumed by all four players (thread link made? - yep - continue talking about self) I collapsed in my cupboard and my friend Mick tossed Michelle Monro (actually Freeman) in on top of me. And I was too dumb to move a muscle. She left. I am sorry Michelle wherever you are. My loss. Mind you, there was some foxes hanging out at 1961 Ford. Nikki.... oh I wrote a poem

Nikki's thumb

Strange that so small a thing
that travelled all the way to Indiana
turned down my offer
to travel further

Meade

PS I drank too much even back then

[Crackpot]

Just to make you feel old.....

74? I was born that year.

[Rick]

OK ignore the post on the other thread...

[Lord Jim]

Separated at birth?

[Sue U]

1960's surely?

Or very early 70's....

I date it to somewhere between '67-'72.....

F**k y'all! It was 1974.

Then again, in most of Ohio it was still 1972 when it was well into the '80s everywhere else. (Apologies to Stiv Bators and Chrissie Hynde.)

[Long Run]

Separated at birth?

A couple of heroes to be sure.

[loCAtek]

Ya attention-seekers; all a youse Bastards!


LOL

[Sean]

Just to make you feel old.....

74? I was born that year.

...and I turned 1 that year!

[Timster]

Well, I wasn't going to mention it. Especially so when Mr. Meade has been so kind to me in my orgasmic orgy of self indulgence in my vacation thread, and elsewhere. But Damn!@ I knew that he was one of us!

Jim nailed it as usual. *cough* except for that Ronald Reagen thing*

Dude! Now I know how you found God! Under the Non-existent stairs! You Rock! But I still think that you should have nailed that slut when you had the chance. I know; hind sight and all of that rot. Love the hat!* Never wear it again!@

Hey. I use to have hair also. Now I say; 'do you ever see grass growing on a ...playground...

But I digress/ and so did the thread/ Hey older! More power to you.

Stick to your guns and damn the torpedos! What ever works for You is cool by me.

*However, the "wife beater" shirt is workin' for you...

[Rick]

Hey. I use to have hair also. Now I say; 'do you ever see grass growing on a ...playground...

You have kids playing on your head?

Couldn't help it...

[oldr_n_wsr]

Where to start, where to end????
First off,
From loCatek

to be careful what you say to some people, through no fault of their own, they really don't know what you're going through and expect it to be over soon "If you'd just..."

Well, I haven't gotten any of that here nor in RL. Everyone has been supportive of me to the point of minor annoyance. Not really annoyance, but people don't have to tell me how proud they are of me, or keep it up, 5 times in a day. The extra tight hugs from the ladies are a different story. But I will keep that in mind, thanks.

The most common mistake friends and family will make is to get frustrated and demand, "When are you going to get over it?" or "How long are you gonna be like this!?" or "I thought you were over this by now!?" or "You're just not trying, are you?"

I doubt if I will get any of that from the family especially since my mother was an alcoholic (AA, outpatient, the whole nine yards) so my family knows it is not something you "get over", that it takes constant vigilance and work on the part of the alcoholic. One of my good friends (been friends since grammar school) and is one of my sponsors is 4-5 years clean, still active in AA so my circle of friends are on board with the "process" (for lack of a better word) of recovery and what it takes. I receive emails weekly from friends asking how things are going and some invites to get togthers. So far I have not gone out with them, but I'm sure they will keep the invites coming, and sonner or later I will be ready, just not yet.

Some day, things will move into a "new normal" where friends and family can have parties and get togethers without being proud of oldr_n_wsr and just enjoy celebrating whatever the occasion is. That anyone and everyone can enjoy an alcoholic beverage if they choose to without worrying if it bothers or triggers me.

As far as advice being offered (whether I asked for it or not, matters little), one can either take it and use it or not, but I would always thank the person offering the advice and would keep it in the back of my head as you never know when it might come in handy. Now I didn't see any advice (other than loCatek's "be careful") offered, but if there was any other and I missed it, thank you to whomever.

I did not start this thread asking (nor expecting) any advice, sympathy or support (but support is always welcome). It's just a way of me coming to grips with the road ahead which is being traveled in one day chunks and looking back on the paths of life that got me here. The stories of my life also go into a journal (actually they start there) I am keeping, these editorial comments and other posters posts do not. If I read something from another poster that I would like to include in the journal, I would first ask if I could. I do not intend this journal to ever be published nor released in any type of public way (other than here at PlanB). Maybe my kids will find it after I am dead and read it and wonder who you all are.

Well that's where I am going to end this "editorial" type post. I am working on a more "on topic" post which I will post shortly. first I have to go back and see where I left off

[oldr_n_wsr]

Sorry it's so long but what can I do, I start writing and it just comes out this way.

Easter Sunday started just like any other Sunday, heck it's just like any other day for us out of work people. We are non practicing, non hippocritical Catholics. By non hippocritical I mean we never go to church on any sunday nor religious observance day. Not on Christmas, not on Easter not even on May 8th.
The only difference I see about any Sunday that sets it apart from other days of the week is the newspaper is much larger and Apollo (my black lab) has trouble sometimes fetching it from the driveway and carrying it into the house. And when he has trouble, he starts tearing it up til it is a more managable size for him. This means that I have to go out with him and make sure I don't end up with confetti all over the property. But Apollo is really great, I tought him to fetch the newspaper and he considers it his and only his job. I love that dog. There are days the newspaper delivery guy is late or the guy didn't throw the paper over the fence (chain link) and Apollo will sit at the end of the driveway either waiting for the guy or for one of us to go outside the fence and get the paper for him to bring in. Don't even try and carry it in yourself.
Anyway, I get up, start the pot of coffee and go outside with Apollo and he gets the newspaper. We come back in and I sit at the table and drink coffee and read the newspaper when the wife comes in and says Happy Easter to me. I respond in kind and then realize that it's the big day, that we are going over my brothers and my first exposure to "open" alcohol drinking. as I have said, we have alcohol in my house, but most bottle are unopened or not my taste I feel a little anxiety flutter in the stomach/chest area. Oh Joy. Well that's a few hours away and there are things to do first, finish the newspaper, drink coffee, shower, shave get ready. Also, we are first going over to the In-Laws.
on a side note, having grown up children (21 and 25) with one away at school and the other having to work Sundays, there is no more Easter Egg hunt, so calm it is

We go over the In-Laws for Easter visit and my MIL had a stroke a year and a half ago and we have not told her about my alcoholism. She is a little fragile in body and mind so they thought it would be best not to inform her. But being the great italian mom she is, her first question to me is "oldr, you want a beer?" as this is how she has greeted me since I have dated her daughter some 27+ years ago. I politely decline preffering iced tea. She rushes to get it and the anxiety "tickle" is back. For the next couple of hours, thiking the alcohol at my brothers is giving me flutters and shortness of breath.

How will I react? will I have to leave early? what will people be saying to me? will they unintentionally say something that triggers me? All these questions and more.

Then the time comes to go to my brothers. My wife asks if I'm ok and being the "macho man" that I am I say I am fine. I had bought a pack of cigarettes in anticipation of needing something, anything, even if it doesn't really do anything for me physically because of the Chantix. At that moment, I just needed some type of pacifier and the cigarette fit the bill. My wife says, "oh yeah, you're all right" <==sarcasm, but she leaves it at that.

We arrive, brain running on turbo boost, millions of thoughts (what I like to call the "squirrels") are running around. We get into the house, everyone (about 20 people in all) greets us with hugs and "I'm proud of you" and "way to go" and "are you going to be alright?" and other words of encouragement and cheer. I ask my brother "where's the Henkell (German sparkling wine)?" and his jaw hits a floor and the place goes silent. "Nobody can take a joke anymore" I say and everyone breaths a sigh of releaf.

My anxiety disappeared, my squirrels went back to their nest and there was no trigger. There was no yearning for a drink. He even had scotch, vodka and other hard stuff out on the bar. While I did think to myself, "in an earlier time I would be all over that stuff, but not now, not today" and it wasn't that hard. I drank ginger ale (Canada Dry) and made sure I used a different type of glass from that of the wine, Henkell and beer drinkers so I could tell my glass and not make a mistake.

We left around 7pm so I could make my AA meeting and my wife could go visit with her sister, her sisters kids and grand kids. Shared my success (survival?) with my Sunday group and everyone was happy for me and it started others sharing about how they made out both that Easter and at other occasions. Strength in numbers and experiences.

Wasn't so bad/hard and I was proud of myself, that day anyway.

[Rick]

I had a Lab once.

She dug holes and ate 2x4s.

It hurt my feelings when she died...