oldr_n_wsr's alcoholic adventure

[loCAtek]

...because they keep patting themselves on the back?

I never envisioned PlanB as a therapy room, but I have to say, the range of advice, and level of support here is brilliant.

Sure some other poster s here are good friends but frankly, I didn't find them to be very good listeners.

[The Hen]

I'm sorry that you aren't getting what you want from here Lo. I could tell you what to do about that, but you wouldn't listen ... as usual.

Would you prefer to start you on thread on the matter or do you want to keep contaminating Oldr's thread with your issues?

[loCAtek]

In order for any advice to work Lo, you actually have to take it instead of just sending off more mails about all your " issues" and ignoring said advice.

: )

Speaking of ignoring Hen, how many times did I ask you not to try to fix me? Meaning, you knew from the get-go, I didn't want advice from you.
Surprise that I didn't take it, 'eh?

[The Hen]

BTW, Gob finding a positive point about Plan B does not equate to "both" of us patting ourselves on the back.

Why do you want to take on the role of Board Troll? Do you like negative attention that much? This could go back to your childhood you realise.

[Sean]

Well if that's how you pat yourself on the back I also would like to give myself a huge pat on the back in expressing how much pleasure it gives me to see how the membership here rallies around to help and support each other.

You've got your own agenda Lo and it really doesn't fit with the general ethos (look it up) of this place.

Oh and have you considered that what you deem bad listening might in fact be you being an ungrateful twat?

[loCAtek]

Added some above. Some rally, some don't, some unconditionally, some not.

[Sean]

So you weren't sending mails about your issues then?

[The Hen]

Lo, you wanted advice, assistance and love from me. All of which you got.

Peace be with you. You are very troubled if you are now fighting me after you received what you wanted.

[Sean]

You know what Lo?

Strop and Hen are two of the posters I am fortunate enough to know offline. I also know first hand of the huge generosity they both possess. This doesn't quite gel with the picture you are trying to paint of them.

Unfortunately I also have first hand knowledge of the way you twist things to fit your own agenda...

Now if you wish to continue this please start another thread!

[Sean]

Oldr, I apologise sincerely for my part in the deterioration of your thread.

I shan't be responding to any more trolling here mate!

[BoSoxGal]

Sorry lo, as someone who spoke with you offline about your alcoholism, I'm well aware that you weren't happy with anything that was offered you - certainly not by me. You just wanted to make excuses for yourself and your behavior, and to have those excuses validated - and I was not going to be an enabler, as I told you then and am reiterating now.

Here's a newsflash: Most of us who work through our issues, or lump the consequences, aren't up to listening to someone else whine endlessly whilst doing nothing proactive to address the root problem.

A certain amount of listening and pure sympathy? Of course any friend is entitled to that - and I think you've gotten it, from all the friends you sought it from offline.

But if you expect to keep getting that, over and over and over, without taking any proactive steps to follow ANY of the many helpful suggestions for how to deal with the addiction - well, then you are just an active addict/emotional vampire.

There is a reason that an intervention requires the folks who have enabled the addict to draw a line in the sand and say, NO MORE! If you will not get help, I will not continue to validate your present reality.

It is really sad to see you descending into the altered reality into which you've been falling the past few months in your posting here and on the CSBs.

If you're really 'over it' - why don't you STFU about it, already?

[BoSoxGal]

oldr, I too apologize - but given my own experience with lo, I couldn't sit by as she continued to use your thread as a way to attack Hen & Gob for failing to support her in her addiction.

I'm grateful for your willingness to share with us your experience of addiction and recovery. If lo should continue in the same vein, I promise I will not respond again and further disrupt your thread.

PS, if a job doesn't come your way in the very near future, please feel free to visit me in Montana - my garden needs a TON of work and I'm too busy prosecuting bad guys to get the work done.

[alice]

PS, if a job doesn't come your way in the very near future, please feel free to visit me in Montana - my garden needs a TON of work and I'm too busy prosecuting bad guys to get the work done.

I never thought of that - what a great idea!! I'm just a teeny bit further away, in Australia, but I've got heaps of jobs around the house and garden that would keep you occupied. Just to help you out, of course!!!

[BoSoxGal]

PS, if a job doesn't come your way in the very near future, please feel free to visit me in Montana - my garden needs a TON of work and I'm too busy prosecuting bad guys to get the work done.

I never thought of that - what a great idea!! I'm just a teeny bit further away, in Australia, but I've got heaps of jobs around the house and garden that would keep you occupied. Just to help you out, of course!!!

Hell, I'll come work on YOUR garden!

Could you spot me the airfare, though?

[MajGenl.Meade]

Hey Oldr, hope it goes well with you. How was Easter with the folks? (I don't think you told us yet??)

I'm pretty sure that I have a problem with wine. It's way too good and here it's way too cheap. My problem is compulsive behaviour which doesn't stop but has no particular target. Give me water and I'll drink glass after glass - same with tea, coffee, and unfortunately if it's around, wine. Don't have a spirits or beer problem oddly.

I was asked to prepare an Easter "event"? "happening" for 6 friends for Saturday 24th dinner - said friends including pastor and his wife. Last time the 8 of us got together, I had just a little too much wine and made a fool of myself, messing up guitar playing and then smashing a glass (by accident of course). So this time, in preparing a seder programme, I specified no wine for me and everyone else decided the same for themselves. We used Grapetizer for the four cups and that was that. It made a heck of a difference.

The guitar playing didn't get better though

God bless
Meade

[loCAtek]

Actually, I did say to Oldr, to be careful what you say to some people, through no fault of their own, they really don't know what you're going through and expect it to be over soon "If you'd just..." Interestingly, I noted a lot of similarities between alcoholism and PTSD; troops returning from the desert and their families are counseled 'not to expect someone to quickly return to normal.", you have to be patient. With alcoholism and PTSD - "Everyone's recovery is different" ...and relapse restart can and will happen at just about anytime. The most common mistake friends and family will make is to get frustrated and demand, "When are you going to get over it?" or "How long are you gonna be like this!?" or "I thought you were over this by now!?" or "You're just not trying, are you?"

In spite of the fact, that from the first, I repeatedly, politely asked Hen, and I quote, "Don't try to fix me, you'll only get frustrated" unquote. That she chose not to listen to that, is not due to my not trying with what I knew of my and others past experiences. Therefore, I accepted her and BSG's requests not to discuss issues with them last year, and I went on to other options over eight months ago. BSG and I remain friends, while once a month or so, Hen continues to try and tell me how I should fix myself. We could still be friends and she wouldn't be frustrated, if she would just listen to what I said in the first place.

On a good note, the only issue, I have right now is the drinking. Work is going well; finances are stabilizing; the BF and I are doing better than ever; I may have the time and money this year for a vacation and I have bunnies again [yay!] As an added extra bonus, owlito season is approaching!



Alpha Dog will possibly, maybe , could be back from the ME in the summer, and I noticed last R & R, he's started drinking Coronas ...and he's never liked beer much before except for social occasions. He's been very accepting of my alcoholism- even ribbing me with the nic 'Wineho' LOL I hope to be there for his PTSD, when he returns.

[The Hen]

How about you start your own thread Lo.

This one is oldr's.

Cheers.

[alice]

PS, if a job doesn't come your way in the very near future, please feel free to visit me in Montana - my garden needs a TON of work and I'm too busy prosecuting bad guys to get the work done.

I never thought of that - what a great idea!! I'm just a teeny bit further away, in Australia, but I've got heaps of jobs around the house and garden that would keep you occupied. Just to help you out, of course!!!

Hell, I'll come work on YOUR garden!

Could you spot me the airfare, though?

Sure, sure, no worries. You put the tickets on credit and we'll sort it out later.

... Less room and board, of course.
Hire costs for the garden equipment
Insurance and administrative fees
And ancillary costs.
etc...

Hey Oldr, hope it goes well with you. How was Easter with the folks? (I don't think you told us yet??)

I'll second this sentiment.

(By the way MajGenl.Meade, your picture is nothing like what I was expecting, if that's you. It shows how much I'm sucked in by the cybernames ... I guess I imagined you much older, as befitting a Major General!!)

[Sean]

Hmmm... I'm thinking that the Genl's pic wasn't taken in the last few days Alice...

In fact, everything about it screams 1970s to me...

[Gob]

1960's surely?