http://www.vice.com/read/what-the-rest- ... -party-622
COLOMBIA
The thing about Republicans is they remind me of that bigot uncle we all have but can't manage to hate as much as we feel obliged to. Yes, their stances on issues like immigration and foreign policy is kind of a slap in the face to all of us south of the Rio Grande, but they are also a great reality check, especially for us millennials.
The Republican Party reminds us that not everyone is down with gay marriage, open borders, legalization of drugs, and a redistribution of wealth. And in a world where most conversations with your liberal "we are the 99%'' friends end in an agreement about how much the current world order sucks and how corporations, the military, and "The Man" are to blame for it all, the Republican's "let Uncle Sam and the free market handle it" agenda is a welcome challenge.
Republicans are also a great example of what being a world power really means: I mean, what's the point of getting up there if you're not going to remind the rest of the world that you've got them by the balls from time to time?
GERMANY
The Republican Party is a bit tricky.
For us, it stands for a lot of things that many Germans loathe about the US: moronic gun laws, homophobia, and a foreign policy that combines heavy weaponry, extreme paranoia, and a blissful ignorance of what people in other countries actually think.
A lot of the time, the Republican Party reminds us of Eric Cartman, and we would not like to live in a country run by Eric Cartman. Sometimes it's actually quite hard to understand why you'd even need a Republican Party when even your Democrats are fans of the downright scary NSA surveillance program, support fracking, and think assassinating people in foreign countries with drones is cool.
On the other hand, the Republicans also stand for a lot of things that are great about the US: corn dogs, getting drunk, and shooting guns in the woods (I know this directly contradicts what I said earlier about the gun laws, but it does sound really fun), big pickup trucks, and Britney Spears. At least, I hope that's what they stand for. Those things certainly sound more Republican than Democrat.
But yeah, mostly,
the Republican Party seems completely nuts from where we stand. Like, whenever someone says something really wacky, misogynist or dangerous, it's either a Republican politician or Putin.
UNITED KINGDOM
The Republican Party is one of those organizations that never fails to reaffirm my identity as a European lefty. If I ever feel my faith in socialized healthcare, economic redistribution, or exotic brands of hummus weakening, I know that all I have to do is read about the latest Republican plan to give assault weapons to teachers or privatize American oxygen and I'll be OK again.
The party didn't always seem quite as insane as it does now. When I was growing up, we looked across the Atlantic and saw country club Republicans: old white guys who didn't like paying taxes, called their wives "Mother," and locked up minorities "for their own good." They were a bit like the Conservatives we had then. Now it seems as though those guys are moderates staring in open-mouthed disbelief at an army of shock jocks, Christian fundamentalists, and oil company stooges.
Perhaps in Britain we've always been comforted by the thought that our right-wing guys aren't quite as right wing as your right-wing guys. And as our right-wing guys have become more right wing, so too have your right-wing guys, and so the balance is preserved. The emergence of Donald Trump somehow seems like the inevitable next step in this process. The Republicans may as well have someone who doesn't believe government can or should do anything as their leader. Does the party even care about the presidency anymore? Or are they just happy to win Congress and fuck shit up from there?
I once went—for this magazine—to see Trump talk alongside motivational guru Tony Robbins. One of his key lines was: "I always hang around with people who aren't successful because it makes me feel better." The rest of the show was full of lazy platitudes and clichés about how to exploit people to make money. The whole thing lasted about an hour before he hopped back on a private jet with a fat check in his pocket. It seems like that's what the Republican Party has become: a nightmare collection of lazy, thieving bastards who just want to cash the check and clock out. Our Conservatives aren't too dissimilar, to be honest. It almost makes me miss George W. Bush. But then again, it's probably all his fault.
NETHERLANDS
The Republican Party is like that racist, sexist uncle you see three times a year at family gatherings—you expect him to turn polite conversation about that new apple pie recipe your mom tried out into a rant about how civilization as we know it is going to end "because IMMIGRANTS," but it never fails to shock you when it actually happens.
Except the Republican Party is not your sweaty uncle, but half of your governing body.
It's a delight to see the GOP struggling to appear sane while all the individual crazies try to out-crazy each other in its name. But, all glee aside, why, for the love of all that is holy are you people still letting all these old white guys decide on what women get to do with their uteruses? There is no excuse. Please get it together and either ignore them, or start policing their penises. Honestly, these people wouldn't recognise a uterus if it slapped them in the face and told them it was pregnant. They aren't equipped to make any decisions on the matter by themselves. ... "
I'll post the rest later but to save some time, if you scroll down Serbia actually said nice things about Republicans. These are the people who practiced a genocidal war, you will recall, and they are still bitter that Clinton bombed them and made them stop. And they were the only ones.
yrs,
rubato