Two pols enter, one pol leaves!FARCICAL AQUATIC CEREMONIES
Crocodile-On-Chicken Savagery To Determine Australia’s Next Ruler
We already know that the Australian election coming up this weekend is just a way to kill time until the death of Elizabeth II unleashes anarchy on the country — anarchy that can only end in “Thunderdome Law.” But now the civilized world has learned exactly how the Aussies intend to determine the winner of this election: not by casting “votes” in a dignified fashion like the good people of Florida or Iraq, but in accordance with the outcome of an act of brutal slaughter.
You are of course familiar with Paul the Octopus, the psychic German cephalopod who predicts the outcome of World Cup matches and insults Islam. Reflecting the peace-loving nature of the German people, Paul makes his predictions in a calm, thoughtful way, removing a flag from a plastic box. Australia, which wants in on this clairvoyant-beast action, does things a little differently.
By “chooses,” of course, we mean that Harry will leap up out of the murky swamp, clamp onto the hapless chicken with his powerful jaws, and devour it while it is still alive and squawking for mercy. This spectacle will take place in the presence of hordes of hooting, drunken Aussies pelting the croc, the chickens, and each other with bottles of Tooheys.A saltwater crocodile called Harry is to use his alleged psychic powers to pick the winner of this weekend’s general election in Australia. His keepers in Darwin say the huge reptile has a good track record.
…
He will put his powers to the test when two chickens of equal weight that bear photographs of the main party leaders are dangled over his enclosure. Whichever the 5m (16ft) croc chooses will, according to his handlers, win this weekend’s election.
Proponents of the ceremony argue that it’s an improvement over the procedure that was in place until 1996, in which the candidates themselves were dangled over the crocodile’s enclosure, with the traumatized survivor becoming prime minister. [BBC]
Aus goes to the polls
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Sue U
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Re: Aus goes to the polls
The decision is in, so back to your beer you go:
GAH!
Re: Aus goes to the polls
My first vote as an Aussie citizen today, I'm really looking forward to it.
I'll let you know how I got on...
I'll let you know how I got on...
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Aus goes to the polls
The school where we will be voting will be having a sausage sizzle and various cake stalls to raise funds.
I love the party atmosphere on election day.
I love the party atmosphere on election day.
Bah!
Re: Aus goes to the polls
Heh... It'll be a hoot. 
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Aus goes to the polls
I tried to talk him into going to the Tally Room as we'd be bound to bump into the pollies there, and Man Mountain Oakes.
Look. He is almost bigger than Parliament itself.
Look. He is almost bigger than Parliament itself.
Bah!
Re: Aus goes to the polls
That's something that we in the West too often fail to appreciate...I love the party atmosphere on election day.
In many parts of the world, election day is anything but a "party"...
There are places where people risk their lives for the opportunity....
We are truly blessed....
Re: Aus goes to the polls
Well said Jim, very well said!
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Aus goes to the polls
With about 70% of the vote counted, it's tight as a tic....
ABC, (the Australian Broadcasting Corp.) says that as of now it's 69 seats for Labor, 69 for The Coalition, (the conservatives) 1 Green Party seat and four "others"....
Who those "others" are will probably loom very important...
The ABC is predicting a final tally of 73 for The Coalition, 72 for Labor, with 76 needed to form a majority....
A better than expected showing for the conservatives based on polls in the closing days, but who will form the government is likely to be up in the air for a while...
For any non-Aussies wishing to follow this, (I'm assuming the Aussies already know about it) this is a pretty good website (lots of live analysis, and real time tally updates):
http://www.abc.net.au/elections/federal/2010/
(Man, I'm such a hardcore political junkie that when there's nothing going in this country, I start focusing on elections in others to get my fix....I need help....
)
ABC, (the Australian Broadcasting Corp.) says that as of now it's 69 seats for Labor, 69 for The Coalition, (the conservatives) 1 Green Party seat and four "others"....
Who those "others" are will probably loom very important...
The ABC is predicting a final tally of 73 for The Coalition, 72 for Labor, with 76 needed to form a majority....
A better than expected showing for the conservatives based on polls in the closing days, but who will form the government is likely to be up in the air for a while...
For any non-Aussies wishing to follow this, (I'm assuming the Aussies already know about it) this is a pretty good website (lots of live analysis, and real time tally updates):
http://www.abc.net.au/elections/federal/2010/
(Man, I'm such a hardcore political junkie that when there's nothing going in this country, I start focusing on elections in others to get my fix....I need help....
)Re: Aus goes to the polls
Oh great, I turned on the streaming video coverage, and now I'm hooked...
apparently of the four independents likely to win three are conservatives, one is a lefty...
There's also one projected Green Party winner....
So if it winds up 72 Labor and 73 Coalition, it would seem that the conservative Coalition would have the better chance of forming the next government, though just barely....
They also have two vote tallies...
One that they call "the primary vote" which includes the tallies for all the parties and independents and determines the seat allocation (Coalition currently leads that vote 43.7% to 38.1%....the Greens have also done well, pulling 11.6%, largely from disaffected Laborites)
then there's a second head to head vote, (I'm not sure what if any significance this has in terms of allocating seats) between Gillard and Abbott, and Abbott leads that by 50.3% to 49.7%...
This has come as a fairly big surprise because apparently the the last 10 polls taken all had shown Gillard with between 51 and 53 per cent.
(New tally: Coalition 72, Labor 69)
apparently of the four independents likely to win three are conservatives, one is a lefty...
There's also one projected Green Party winner....
So if it winds up 72 Labor and 73 Coalition, it would seem that the conservative Coalition would have the better chance of forming the next government, though just barely....
They also have two vote tallies...
One that they call "the primary vote" which includes the tallies for all the parties and independents and determines the seat allocation (Coalition currently leads that vote 43.7% to 38.1%....the Greens have also done well, pulling 11.6%, largely from disaffected Laborites)
then there's a second head to head vote, (I'm not sure what if any significance this has in terms of allocating seats) between Gillard and Abbott, and Abbott leads that by 50.3% to 49.7%...
This has come as a fairly big surprise because apparently the the last 10 polls taken all had shown Gillard with between 51 and 53 per cent.
(New tally: Coalition 72, Labor 69)
Last edited by Lord Jim on Mon Aug 23, 2010 4:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Aus goes to the polls
Just watched Gillard and Abbott speak to their supporters...neither one is conceding or claiming victory....
I have to say that Abbott has a couple of hottie daughters....
I have to say that Abbott has a couple of hottie daughters....
Re: Aus goes to the polls
Well now this sucks...
I just went back to catch the latest update and the totals screen won't update past where it was before, and when I try to turn on the streaming video of the TV broadcast, I get this message:
"Sorry
Due to copyright reasons, this video can only be viewed by people in Australia."
BLOODY FASCISTS!!!
I just went back to catch the latest update and the totals screen won't update past where it was before, and when I try to turn on the streaming video of the TV broadcast, I get this message:
"Sorry
Due to copyright reasons, this video can only be viewed by people in Australia."
BLOODY FASCISTS!!!
Re: Aus goes to the polls
Anybody here watch The Wire? C'mom! It's a dead-ringer!
Re: Aus goes to the polls
Oh christ, I hope we don't get Abbot, the man's a religious nutbag. He'd drag a truly liberal country back into the dark ages.
BTW, excellent summaries Jim, you're better than local news.
BTW, excellent summaries Jim, you're better than local news.
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Aus goes to the polls
I really enjoyed watching the streaming video of the ABC TV election coverage...
I watched over an hour of it, (before the Net Nazis cut off all non-Australian viewers) and as a hopeless political junkie, (who is also very interested in how other electoral systems work, and also what issues are involved) I found it really fascinating...
Part of what held my interest was the fact that the vote was so close; but also making comparisons with how our networks cover elections in this country....
A little analysis on that score (particularly from an effective television standpoint, but also from an informational standpoint:
There were some things about the Aussie coverage that were very familiar:
They had two discussion panels, with reps from both sides on one, (on the second panel they also included a rep from the Green Party)
We have discussion panels with folks from both sides offering their analysis here on Election night as well...
But that was basically all they had....
They just kept going back and forth between these two groups, one which was part of the hard news anchor desk, giving updated numbers and results, and the other that was pure analysis...
Nothing wrong with that, as far as it goes...(certainly much more compelling television than having a single stiff pasty faced "news reader" reading off numbers ala 60's era British elections)
And the folks they chose to be involved in the groups weren't hopeless stiffs...most of them seemed to be reasonably at ease with being on TV, they were articulate, communicated well, and got off the occasional humorous line...
But there were a lot of elements that from the standpoint of an American political junkie who has been watching the evolution of US election night coverage since he was 12 years old, (that would be 38 years...yeah, I know I'm weird) that were lacking...
This is not meant to be a slam at the ABC, they may just not have the resources to do this kind of coverage...they did a perfectly adequate job...We've got five major networks in this country with enormous direct and affiliate resources, operating in a highly competitive environment.
But with those caveats, just to give the comparison:
On a national election night in the US, one would expect to see some of the following:
1. Exit polls. Apparently this isn't done in Australia. These are polls that are done with random groups of voters after they have voted that give us indications about things like:
How many women versus men voted a certain way? How did people vote based on race, ethnicity, age, income, education, etc....
In the US this is done extensively, and information about it is not only informative, but it also helps to break up the "let's go to the analysis group" stuff.... and it also gives them more to talk about....
2.Interviews with political folks not on the panels.
When I was watching the ABC coverage, I saw one interview conducted...
With an Independent Conservative candidate who was likely to be one of the four who would decide the next Government...a great "get" and very informative...his main issue was which party would be more attuned with him on issues affecting the rural farming community...but it was one interivew, over a phone line...
In the US on election night, you have numerous in studio and on location interviews with candidates, party movers and shakers, office holders, former office holders, all giving their take on the direction of the night's events...
Again, breaking up the non-stop coverage of the discussion panels, and giving them more to talk about....
3.Man-in-the-street interviews with non politicos.
In typical US national election night coverage, there are camera crews and interviewers out on the street, and in diners and bars, etc. getting reactions from the night's events...
There was none of this in ABC coverage I saw...
Again, this sort of thing helps to liven up the in studio talking head stuff...
4.Election Day footage...
Video footage from earlier in the day from various polling places, and interviews with people waiting to vote, to capture the election day atmosphere....
I didn't see any of this either...
I have a few others to add later...
I watched over an hour of it, (before the Net Nazis cut off all non-Australian viewers) and as a hopeless political junkie, (who is also very interested in how other electoral systems work, and also what issues are involved) I found it really fascinating...
Part of what held my interest was the fact that the vote was so close; but also making comparisons with how our networks cover elections in this country....
A little analysis on that score (particularly from an effective television standpoint, but also from an informational standpoint:
There were some things about the Aussie coverage that were very familiar:
They had two discussion panels, with reps from both sides on one, (on the second panel they also included a rep from the Green Party)
We have discussion panels with folks from both sides offering their analysis here on Election night as well...
But that was basically all they had....
They just kept going back and forth between these two groups, one which was part of the hard news anchor desk, giving updated numbers and results, and the other that was pure analysis...
Nothing wrong with that, as far as it goes...(certainly much more compelling television than having a single stiff pasty faced "news reader" reading off numbers ala 60's era British elections)
And the folks they chose to be involved in the groups weren't hopeless stiffs...most of them seemed to be reasonably at ease with being on TV, they were articulate, communicated well, and got off the occasional humorous line...
But there were a lot of elements that from the standpoint of an American political junkie who has been watching the evolution of US election night coverage since he was 12 years old, (that would be 38 years...yeah, I know I'm weird) that were lacking...
This is not meant to be a slam at the ABC, they may just not have the resources to do this kind of coverage...they did a perfectly adequate job...We've got five major networks in this country with enormous direct and affiliate resources, operating in a highly competitive environment.
But with those caveats, just to give the comparison:
On a national election night in the US, one would expect to see some of the following:
1. Exit polls. Apparently this isn't done in Australia. These are polls that are done with random groups of voters after they have voted that give us indications about things like:
How many women versus men voted a certain way? How did people vote based on race, ethnicity, age, income, education, etc....
In the US this is done extensively, and information about it is not only informative, but it also helps to break up the "let's go to the analysis group" stuff.... and it also gives them more to talk about....
2.Interviews with political folks not on the panels.
When I was watching the ABC coverage, I saw one interview conducted...
With an Independent Conservative candidate who was likely to be one of the four who would decide the next Government...a great "get" and very informative...his main issue was which party would be more attuned with him on issues affecting the rural farming community...but it was one interivew, over a phone line...
In the US on election night, you have numerous in studio and on location interviews with candidates, party movers and shakers, office holders, former office holders, all giving their take on the direction of the night's events...
Again, breaking up the non-stop coverage of the discussion panels, and giving them more to talk about....
3.Man-in-the-street interviews with non politicos.
In typical US national election night coverage, there are camera crews and interviewers out on the street, and in diners and bars, etc. getting reactions from the night's events...
There was none of this in ABC coverage I saw...
Again, this sort of thing helps to liven up the in studio talking head stuff...
4.Election Day footage...
Video footage from earlier in the day from various polling places, and interviews with people waiting to vote, to capture the election day atmosphere....
I didn't see any of this either...
I have a few others to add later...
Last edited by Lord Jim on Mon Aug 23, 2010 4:15 am, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Aus goes to the polls
I'm guessing showing all the people at the polls isn't all that exciting when it's compulsory. 
Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.
Re: Aus goes to the polls
Thanks for that Jim.
I agree with all your points, bar "exit polls" which I find meaningless, but I think the net coverage must have been a "cut down" service which did not include all which was broadcast.
The best coverage for us was not found on the ABC, but on the SBS and WIN Network.
I agree with all your points, bar "exit polls" which I find meaningless, but I think the net coverage must have been a "cut down" service which did not include all which was broadcast.
The best coverage for us was not found on the ABC, but on the SBS and WIN Network.
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Aus goes to the polls
Well, now think about that for a moment...I agree with all your points, bar "exit polls" which I find meaningless
In your view, Tony Abbott is some sort of religious fanatic...
If the exit polls showed that people who were not particularly religious voted for Abbott, that would be an interesting thing to know...
It would suggest that his "religiosity" didn't play a particular role in the election...
As an outsider, I have to ask why that in Australia...
A country which has done fairly well vis a vis the rest of the West during the Great Recession...
The Party in power found itself so vulnerable....
Given the relative prosperity that Australia enjoys, why didn't the Labor Party find itself running away with the vote? Why did the ruling Party see itself under these conditions to be in such mortal peril that it had to remove it's Prime Minister in an internal party coup, and now may very well face the loss of the control of Government?
Re: Aus goes to the polls
Okay, I think I've got it now....(Sort of Pythonish)
Hello I'm Roger McStuffit, and I'll be your serious sounding avuncular anchorman for this evening....
Joining me on the panel tonight for our election coverage will be Mr. Everett Bittierender, a slightly balding with a distracting twitch former Liberal Shadow Minister for The Ministry of What Part Of Get the Hell Out Of Our Country Don't You Wogs Understand...
And Mr. Leslie Needsballs, former Labor Deputy Minister for Wasting Time On Commie Projects, a man with thick steel gray hair and no distracting twitch, but a small speech impediment... critic, pundit, and author of the seminal treatise on international affairs, "What If They Gave A War And Everybody Had Something Else To Do"...
And the third member of our panel this evening, from the Green Party, Miss Amber Lovescock, a lovely bit of crumpet with great legs and large breasts, that we invited to liven up the set and improve our ratings...
Hello I'm Roger McStuffit, and I'll be your serious sounding avuncular anchorman for this evening....
Joining me on the panel tonight for our election coverage will be Mr. Everett Bittierender, a slightly balding with a distracting twitch former Liberal Shadow Minister for The Ministry of What Part Of Get the Hell Out Of Our Country Don't You Wogs Understand...
And Mr. Leslie Needsballs, former Labor Deputy Minister for Wasting Time On Commie Projects, a man with thick steel gray hair and no distracting twitch, but a small speech impediment... critic, pundit, and author of the seminal treatise on international affairs, "What If They Gave A War And Everybody Had Something Else To Do"...
And the third member of our panel this evening, from the Green Party, Miss Amber Lovescock, a lovely bit of crumpet with great legs and large breasts, that we invited to liven up the set and improve our ratings...