With apologies to W G Brownlow - an awful chap
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2016 12:04 am
Dear phpBB members:
I have your sentiments in hand and hasten to let you know the precise time when I expect to come out and formally announce that I have joined the Democratic Party. When the sun shines at midnight and moon at mid-day; when man forgets to be selfish, or Democrats lose their inclination to steal; when nature stops her onward march to rest, or all the water courses in America flow up-stream; when flowere lose their odor, and trees shed no leaves; when birds talk, and beasts of burden laugh; when ****ed spirits swap hell for heaven with the angels of light, and pay them the boot in mean whiskey; when impossibilities are in fashion, and no proposition is too absurd to be believed, ---you may credit the report that I have joined the Democrats!
I. . . join the Democrats! Never, so long as there are sects in churches, weeds in gardens, fleas in hog pens, dirt in victuals, disputes in families, wars with nations, water in the ocean, bad men in America, or base women in France! No, you may hope, you may congratulate, you may reason, you may sneer, but that cannot be. The thrones of the Old World, the courts of the Universe, the governments of the world, may all fall and crumble into ruin,-- the New World may commit the national suicide of dissolving this Union,---but all this, and more, must occur before I join the Democrats!
I. . . join the Democrats! You know not what you say. When I join the Democrats, the Pope of Rome will join the Methodist Church. When rubato of California is President of the Republic of Great Britain by the universal suffrage of a contented people; when Queen Elizabeth consents to be divorced from the Duke by a county court in Kansas; when Congress obliges, by law, Barak Obama to marry a European princess; when the Pope leases the Capitol at Washington for his city residence; when Putin and Trump elected Senators in Congress from New Mexico; when good men cease to go to heaven, or bad men to hell; when this world is turned upside down; when proof is afforded, both clear and unquestionable, that there is no God; when men turn to ants, and ants to elephants,---I will change my political faith and come out on the side of Democrats!
Supposing this full and frank letter will enable you to fix upon the period when I will come out a full grown Democrat, and to communicate the same to all whom it may concern in the webosphere,
I have the honor to be,
M. G. Meade
PS but I might have to vote for one of them in November if the original gorilla, Trump, is nominated from the right
I have your sentiments in hand and hasten to let you know the precise time when I expect to come out and formally announce that I have joined the Democratic Party. When the sun shines at midnight and moon at mid-day; when man forgets to be selfish, or Democrats lose their inclination to steal; when nature stops her onward march to rest, or all the water courses in America flow up-stream; when flowere lose their odor, and trees shed no leaves; when birds talk, and beasts of burden laugh; when ****ed spirits swap hell for heaven with the angels of light, and pay them the boot in mean whiskey; when impossibilities are in fashion, and no proposition is too absurd to be believed, ---you may credit the report that I have joined the Democrats!
I. . . join the Democrats! Never, so long as there are sects in churches, weeds in gardens, fleas in hog pens, dirt in victuals, disputes in families, wars with nations, water in the ocean, bad men in America, or base women in France! No, you may hope, you may congratulate, you may reason, you may sneer, but that cannot be. The thrones of the Old World, the courts of the Universe, the governments of the world, may all fall and crumble into ruin,-- the New World may commit the national suicide of dissolving this Union,---but all this, and more, must occur before I join the Democrats!
I. . . join the Democrats! You know not what you say. When I join the Democrats, the Pope of Rome will join the Methodist Church. When rubato of California is President of the Republic of Great Britain by the universal suffrage of a contented people; when Queen Elizabeth consents to be divorced from the Duke by a county court in Kansas; when Congress obliges, by law, Barak Obama to marry a European princess; when the Pope leases the Capitol at Washington for his city residence; when Putin and Trump elected Senators in Congress from New Mexico; when good men cease to go to heaven, or bad men to hell; when this world is turned upside down; when proof is afforded, both clear and unquestionable, that there is no God; when men turn to ants, and ants to elephants,---I will change my political faith and come out on the side of Democrats!
Supposing this full and frank letter will enable you to fix upon the period when I will come out a full grown Democrat, and to communicate the same to all whom it may concern in the webosphere,
I have the honor to be,
M. G. Meade
PS but I might have to vote for one of them in November if the original gorilla, Trump, is nominated from the right
