You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Right? Left? Centre?
Political news and debate.
Put your views and articles up for debate and destruction!
User avatar
RayThom
Posts: 8604
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 4:38 pm
Location: Longwood Gardens PA 19348

You really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by RayThom »

Damn! HRC was more cunning and scheming than I could have ever imagined.

I'm voting for her the next time she runs for POTUS.
Image
“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.” 

ex-khobar Andy
Posts: 5418
Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2015 4:16 am
Location: Louisville KY as of July 2018

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by ex-khobar Andy »


This was a Borowitz Report thing in the New Yorker a couple of years ago. The link does not give that as a source. So yes, you could make that one up.

Sad. I so wanted this to be true.

User avatar
Crackpot
Posts: 11264
Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 2:59 am
Location: Michigan

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by Crackpot »

The sad thing is, given recent behavior, that article is no longer clearly satire.

He’ll get that posted to the right website and Wes would be posting about a here.
Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.

ex-khobar Andy
Posts: 5418
Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2015 4:16 am
Location: Louisville KY as of July 2018

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by ex-khobar Andy »

Rudy Giuliani is blaming NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio for the antiSemitic attacks occurring in the city. If he (de Blasio) had been running the city according to Giuliani's 'broken windows' policing theories, it would put a stop to terrorist attacks.

I don't recall liberals blaming Giuliani for the 9/11 attacks.

Giuliani is, of course, Jewish: so he understands this sort of thing better than anyone. . Except maybe his client.

User avatar
Econoline
Posts: 9555
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 6:25 pm
Location: DeKalb, Illinois...out amidst the corn, soybeans, and Republicans

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by Econoline »

Image
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
God @The Tweet of God

User avatar
Sue U
Posts: 8542
Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 4:59 pm
Location: Eastern Megalopolis, North America (Midtown)

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by Sue U »

He is just a few weird punctuation marks away from declaring himself a "Sovereign Citizen." :roll: :roll: :roll: :loon :loon :roll: :loon :loon
GAH!

User avatar
Joe Guy
Posts: 13923
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:40 pm
Location: Redweird City, California

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by Joe Guy »

Trump is an idiot. He can't even pretend to be smart. We're all doomed.

User avatar
Bicycle Bill
Posts: 9014
Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 1:10 pm
Location: Surrounded by Trumptards in Rockland, WI – a small rural village in La Crosse County

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by Bicycle Bill »

Sue U wrote:He is just a few weird punctuation marks away from declaring himself a "Sovereign Citizen." :roll: :roll: :roll: :loon :loon :roll: :loon :loon
Nope — Trump has to be the "Sovereign", period.  He would never put himself onto any level that make him an equal to anyone else — unless it's God.  And even then he'd claim he's an improved version — "God 2.0" ....
Image
-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?

User avatar
Scooter
Posts: 16540
Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:04 pm
Location: Toronto, ON

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by Scooter »

Oregon woman sues Mormon church for $10 million for revealing husband's child sex abuse

SALEM, Ore. – An Oregon woman is suing the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for $9.54 million after her husband's confession to church leaders led to his arrest, conviction and imprisonment on child sexual abuse charges.

The lawsuit, which accuses local church leaders of violating confidentiality and the "priest-penitent privilege," contrasts sharply with other cases accusing the church claiming the exact opposite – failing to report abuse to authorities and treating sex abuse like a sin instead of a crime.

The lawsuit, filed in Marion County Circuit Court, involves a Turner, Oregon, man convicted of abuse after he confessed to clergy that he had repeated sexual contact with a minor.

Church officials did not respond Tuesday to requests for comment on whether the actions of local leaders were sanctioned by the church.

The man's confession was meant to be confidential, said the family's attorney Bill Brandt. He said local clergy's actions "totally violated church policy."

"It's been devastating on the family," Brandt said. "They lost a husband and a father." (pretty sure his victims feel they lost a hell of a lot more)

The Salt Lake City-based Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has about 16.3 million members worldwide and about 153,300 members and 300 congregations, also known as wards, in Oregon. The wards are led by unpaid, laymen clergy.

Timothy Samuel Johnson and his wife Kristine Johnson were members of a ward when his wife learned he had "engaged in inappropriate conduct" with a minor known to him, according to the lawsuit.

After learning of the sexual abuse, the couple followed church doctrine by having Johnson confess and repent of his sins before church clergy and the official church court.

The clergy portrayed that such a confession and repentance was dictated by church doctrine, and church doctrine required strict confidence of such confessions, according to the lawsuit.

Brandt also said church leaders represented "that whatever the scope of Mr. Johnson's evil transgressions, the Church and its clergy will spiritually counsel Mr. Johnson to bring peace within his life and family."

Johnson confessed to local leaders and members of the church court that he had sexually abused a minor.

But what leaders failed to advise Johnson of is that if he confessed to the abuse, they would report his actions to local law enforcement, according to the lawsuit.

The lawsuit filed in Oregon singled out a man who served as a counselor to Johnson's bishop, claiming the church failed to properly supervise him and train him of his obligations as a member of the clergy.

Johnson, 47, was arrested in 2017 on charges of first-degree sodomy, sexual abuse and unlawful sexual penetration for sexually abusing a girl under the age of 16.

He later pleaded guilty to four counts of second-degree sexual abuse and was sentenced to 15 years in prison.

Two years later, his wife filed the lawsuit against the church accusing the clergy of breach of fiduciary duty, negligence and interference with prospective economic advantage. Four of his children are also named as plaintiffs.

Church leaders' actions deprived Johnson's wife and children of his companionship, society, love and income, according to the lawsuit.

"(Clergy) knew or should have known that violating the doctrine of confidentiality under the circumstances alleged in this complaint would most certainly injure (his wife and children) financially," Brandt said.

Before being arrested, Johnson had a successful career as a sculptor.

The lawsuit requests $5.5 million for his wife for loss of his income and for extreme emotional distress and $1 million for each of his four children.

The lawsuit also requests $40,000 to pay for Johnson's criminal defense attorney. (!!!)

Church doctrine requires disclosure and repentance. The lawsuit quoted Latter-day Saints' scripture Doctrine and Covenants 58:42-43:

"Behold he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more. By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins-behold, he will confess them and forsake them."

Brandt said church leaders violated Johnson's trust when they failed to "disclose that despite the express doctrine of confidentially intended to assist the family through difficult times," leaders would report the abuse to law enforcement.

Brandt said he's not aware of any other case in Oregon involving the breach of clergy confidentiality. He added that many members of the church were "appalled" by the actions of the church leader who allegedly violated this confidentiality and reported the abuse.

Oregon is one of the 28 states that specifically includes clergy on its list of mandatory reporters required to report known or suspected incidents of child abuse or neglect. But what is sometimes referred to as a confessional-style "clergy-penitent privilege" is an exemption to mandatory reporting laws.

Such laws are constantly evolving. In Utah, a bill proposed in the state's 2020 session would require clergy to report all allegations of child abuse – even those made during religious confessional, according to the Salt Lake Tribune.

Recent lawsuits and reports have brought to light previous church practices of handling abuse within the church and not reporting sexual abuse to law enforcement.

A lawyer for a woman who reported being abused as child by her Latter-day Saint father to her bishop only to have the matter go unreported to law enforcement told NPR-affiliate KUER that the main problem was that the church treated the abuse as simply a sin, not a crime.

Law enforcement in other cases accused leaders of being uncooperative with investigators.

Church officials in Utah did not respond to a request for comment on the lawsuit and did not reply to inquiries on how church leaders are instructed to respond to sexual abuse disclosures.

The official church website instructs leaders to "fulfill all legal obligations to report abuse to civil authorities."

Leaders are told to call the church's ecclesiastical helpline immediately after learning of abuse for assistance in helping victims and meeting reporting requirements.

Reporting laws vary from state to state.

The first responsibility of the church in abuse cases is to help those who have been abused and to protect those who may be vulnerable to future abuse, officials said.

A 2018 letter from top church leadership – the First Presidency – stated:

“This global issue continues to be of great concern to us today. Our hearts and prayers go out to all those who are affected by this serious problem.

“To help ensure the safety and protection of children, youth, and adults, we ask that all priesthood and auxiliary leaders become familiar with existing Church policies and guidelines on preventing and responding to abuse."
So, what kind of demented dumbass fuckwit wants a confessed child rapist to be around herself and her children?

Perhaps the state of Oregon should be investigating her to ensure that her children are not being subjected to any other form of neglect and abuse, if she is willing to have them share a home with a man who risks raping them.
"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're on the menu."

-- Author unknown

User avatar
Scooter
Posts: 16540
Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:04 pm
Location: Toronto, ON

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by Scooter »

Evangelicals are praying that God “exposes” Michelle Obama as transgender

White evangelical Christians have been the Trump administration’s biggest supporters. Whether it’s unrepentant adultery, non-stop lying, destroying the Earth, abusing immigrants, or harming the poor, the far-right religious subset has gone all in.

Coincidentally enough, they also comprised a large percentage of Obama critics the believed and propagated wild conspiracy theories about our first black president and his family. But the latest claim may take the cake.

Francine Fosdick hosts the “Up Front In The Prophetic” radio show and during a recent broadcast she hosted a “prayer call.” About halfway through, she turned the call over to an “intercessor” only identified as Jamie.

An intercessor is a Christian term for someone who prays to God on behalf of a different person.

Jamie’s prayer was a little different. They prayed that former President Obama would be exposed as a sex trafficker and Michelle Obama would be revealed as transgender.

“I am asking you, Father, that the general public would see all of the stealing and all of the dirty things that Obama has been involved in,” Jamie prayed. “How did he get this $15 million home in Martha’s Vineyard? Father Lord, I’m thanking you that every bit of money laundering, that he is involved in child trafficking, all of that would be exposed.”

“Father, I thank you for exposing all of the corrupt book deals, not only Obama’s, but Joe Biden’s, Michelle’s,” Jaime continued. “And speaking of Michelle, today ABC just had an article saying that she’s been named the most admired woman in the world for the second year in a row. Father, I am asking you that whatever plan they have to have Michelle or Hillary [Clinton] run for president, we call that canceled in Jesus’ name.”

And I am asking you Father that the true identity of Michelle—Michael—would be exposed. Father, I am asking you that that whole family, that those children—they are not their children, they’re the children of Obama’s best friend—Father, we ask you that that whole lie would be exposed for the everyday person to see it, in Jesus’ name.”

This isn’t the first time the far-right has claimed that the former First Lady is transgender. Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones has regularly promoted the nonsense on his InfoWars shows.
"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're on the menu."

-- Author unknown

User avatar
BoSoxGal
Posts: 18295
Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 10:36 pm
Location: The Heart of Red Sox Nation

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by BoSoxGal »

These people are too stupid to read? The Obamas got a $60 million dollar book deal to write their memoirs - that was only front page news across the country, if not the globe (it made the Daily Mail).

Jesus Christ, please save us from the disgusting brainless losers who claim to follow you.
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan

User avatar
Econoline
Posts: 9555
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 6:25 pm
Location: DeKalb, Illinois...out amidst the corn, soybeans, and Republicans

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by Econoline »

The Secretary of Defense—the guy in charge of the military—didn't see the military intelligence that was used to justify military force.

Image
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
God @The Tweet of God

User avatar
Scooter
Posts: 16540
Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:04 pm
Location: Toronto, ON

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by Scooter »

Image
"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're on the menu."

-- Author unknown

User avatar
Econoline
Posts: 9555
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 6:25 pm
Location: DeKalb, Illinois...out amidst the corn, soybeans, and Republicans

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by Econoline »

  • Trump adds Ken Starr and Alan Dershowitz to impeachment defense team

    Washington (CNN) — President Donald Trump is adding three seasoned lawyers to his impeachment legal defense team, people familiar with the matter said, including Kenneth Starr, the hard-charging prosecutor whose work led to President Bill Clinton's impeachment.

    Alan Dershowitz, the constitutional lawyer, and
    Robert Ray, Starr's successor at the Office of Independent Counsel during the Clinton administration, are also joining the team, the people said.
I don't know how to get an image of the actual tweet (I'm fiddling around with some of the post formatting stuff to produce an approximation of it), but this one particular response tweet says it all:
  • Image Monica Lewinsky
    • . . @MonicaLewinsky
    this is definitely an “are you fucking kidding me?” kinda day.

    9:26 AM - Jan 17, 2020
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
God @The Tweet of God

ex-khobar Andy
Posts: 5418
Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2015 4:16 am
Location: Louisville KY as of July 2018

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by ex-khobar Andy »

From Newsweek June 2019:
Alan Dershowitz, a longtime Harvard law professor and frequent contributor to Fox News, said Thursday he could "enthusiastically" support Joe Biden over Donald Trump if the two meet in the 2020 presidential race.
At some point, maybe 15 years ago, I thought Dershowitz was one of the good guys. Not sure what happened. I can't keep up.

User avatar
RayThom
Posts: 8604
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 4:38 pm
Location: Longwood Gardens PA 19348

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by RayThom »

ex-khobar Andy wrote:... At some point, maybe 15 years ago, I thought Dershowitz was one of the good guys. Not sure what happened. I can't keep up.
Money talks -- I bet FUX News offered him more money for his opinions than the other broadcast outlets. Face time is everything to those with large egos.
Image
“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.” 

User avatar
BoSoxGal
Posts: 18295
Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 10:36 pm
Location: The Heart of Red Sox Nation

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by BoSoxGal »

Alan Dershowitz is the epitome of the whore lawyer who lacks any underlying unifying principles; he would absolutely be willing to defend Trump for the notoriety it will bring him, while also planning to vote against Trump. Anyone who has followed Dershowitz over the years is totally unsurprised by this.
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan

User avatar
Scooter
Posts: 16540
Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:04 pm
Location: Toronto, ON

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by Scooter »

Mike Pence compares Trump to Martin Luther King Jr: They ‘inspired us to change’

Always a bringer of bad takes, Vice President Mike Pence is again the target of outrage after remarks he made during a Sunday interview with CBS’s Face the Nation, where he quoted Martin Luther King Jr. while arguing for President Trump‘s border wall. At one point, he even compared Trump to MLK, saying they both sought “change” through the legislative process.

One day before the federal holiday honoring King, Pence quoted a passage from King’s famous “I Have a Dream” speech.

“One of my favorite quotes from Dr. King was, ‘Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy,'” Pence said.

“You think of how he changed America,” Pence went on, speaking of King. “He inspired us to change through the legislative process, to become a more perfect union.”

“That’s exactly what President Trump is calling on Congress to do — come to the table in the spirit of good faith,” Pence said. “We’ll secure our border. We’ll reopen the government, and we’ll move our nation forward, as the president said yesterday, to even a broader discussion about immigration reform in the months ahead.”

As NBC News points out, another one of King’s speeches made a powerful statement against walls. In a 1964 speech in East Berlin, King addressed the then-standing Berlin Wall.

“Here on either side of the wall are God’s children, and no manmade barrier can obliterate that fact,” King said.

As expected, Pence’s remarks sparked a wave of backlash in the op-eds and on social media.

Writing for CNN, Julian Zelizer said that there’s “no justification for Vice President Pence to use King’s memory to support the administration’s policies. Doing so is a perversion of the work of one of the greatest social activists of modern times.”

The other takes were many.

“Once again, Mike Pence is the walking embodiment of the saying, ‘Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt,'” CNN commentator W. Kamau Bell tweeted.

“Misrepresenting dark-skinned socialists like Jesus and MLK who would despise Donald Trump is kind of Mike Pence’s whole thing,” wrote Twitter politico Jason Sattler, a.k.a., @LOLGOP.
"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're on the menu."

-- Author unknown

User avatar
Econoline
Posts: 9555
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 6:25 pm
Location: DeKalb, Illinois...out amidst the corn, soybeans, and Republicans

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by Econoline »

He was talking about Elon Musk for some reason...
  • “I was worried about him [Musk], because he’s one of our great geniuses, and we have to protect our genius. You know, we have to protect Thomas Edison and we have to protect all of these people that came up with originally the light bulb and the wheel and all of these things.”




ETA: I think maybe we also should protect the guy who invented beer. ;)



Oh yeah, and whiskey too...
Last edited by Econoline on Thu Jan 23, 2020 1:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
God @The Tweet of God

Burning Petard
Posts: 4048
Joined: Fri Feb 12, 2016 5:35 pm
Location: Near Bear, Delaware

Re: You really, really, REALLY couldn't make this shit up

Post by Burning Petard »

Uh huh. See what happens when you don't protect these people?

The inventor of the wheel is buried in some unmarked grave and nobody knows about him.

snailgate

Post Reply