Why Should I Suffer Because Of Others' Weird Phobias?

[Andrew D]

Shortly, I will be driving off to pick up my wife from a local public transit station. I will be legally required to clothe myself. Not much, but some.

(It might be legal for me to drive naked. But once I am there, when I am stopped in the passenger loading zone, anyone walking by will be able to glance into my car and see me naked. And I will have violated the law.

(And I might have to change a flat tire. I might get pulled over. Etc.)

That means that, despite having slathered myself in the strongest steroid goo the doctors can provide me, some of the parts of me that are covered by that clothing will erupt in painful, itchy sores. There is nothing I -- or, evidently, anyone else -- can do about it.

I will get home hurting. And itching. (And no, itch creams don't help.)

When I wake up from whatever little sleep I might get later, parts of me will be drizzled with dried blood from my scratching in my sleep. The sores will still hurt, and they will still itch. And they will still hurt and itch tomorrow. And Thursday. Depending on variables which I do not understand, the pain and itching may have subsided by Friday. If the sores have not become infected by then. Which I can ward off with disinfectants -- pretty much like pouring Everclear into open wounds.

If I were to drive there naked, that would not happen. I would arrive home no worse off than I am now.

Why?

Why should I have to endure painful, itching sores just so that someone will not be subjected to -- oh, the horror! -- of seeing a scrawny, potbellied, middle-aged man naked?

Anyone care to explain that?

[Sean]

If you were naked wouldn't your arse be red raw from the car seat?

[Lord Jim]

Don't tell me, let me guess...

He's started another one of his "everybody ought to be allowed to walk around naked where ever they want to" threads...

He certainly seems to have a singular fascination with the subject...

[The Hen]

Your condition sounds absolutely horrible Andrew.

Is there no kind of loosely fitting tribal loin cloth that would cover your genitals and arse crack yet not cause you such pain?

[Andrew D]

If you were naked wouldn't your arse be red raw from the car seat?

When I am at home, I find that switching fabrics gives me a little extra time. I lie on a leather couch for a while, and I mercifully get to doze for maybe a half hour. Then I lay out a cotton towel, and I get to doze on that for maybe another half hour. Etc.

ETA:

And, yes, in fact, when I sit at home working or watching TV or typing things like this, parts of my arse do get red raw. The sores are not uniform, blanket coverage; there are spaces in amongst them.

I have found a chair, the one I am sitting on right now, to which my skin does not seem to react as badly. Unfortunately, I do not know what fabric that is. My late father reupholstered this chair, and he's not around for me to ask him.

And even this fabric is not perfect. It is better, but better can be a long way from good.

So now I'm going to go stand naked in my family room, blast I Was Glad and Zadok The Priest and Light's Glitt'ring Morn and the Widor Toccata, hope that with enough sound, I can block out all the other messages my brain is receiving, and hope that I can remain a good enough person -- not that I am an especially good person -- not to wish any of my afflictions on those who mock me.

Have a nice day.

[Andrew D]

Don't tell me, let me guess...

He's started another one of his "everybody ought to be allowed to walk around naked where ever they want to" threads...

He certainly seems to have a singular fascination with the subject...

Typical.

Next time he starts yammering about morals, remember his real attitude towards the suffering of others.

[Andrew D]

Your condition sounds absolutely horrible Andrew.

Is there no kind of loosely fitting tribal loin cloth that would cover your genitals and arse crack yet not cause you such pain?

There are such things. But they still have to be attached somehow.

A loincloth would help with the parts it just flapped over but did not actually press against. But it would have to be held up by something -- presumably some sort of string around my waist. So then I get a lovely circle of painful, itching sores around my waist.

Why should I have to wear anything at all?

Contrary to Lord Jim's "I have no answer, so I'll mischaracterize the question" pseudo-responses, I have no desire that anyone (except, of course, my wife) see me naked. I could happily go the rest of my life without anyone's seeing me naked other than my wife and, if necessary, health care professionals.

I am not an exhibitionist. I do not wish to "inflict" my nakedness on anyone.

I am just a guy who would like to live a life somewhat less painful than the life which I am presently living. But I cannot do that, because some people's aversion to seeing me naked is deemed by society to outweigh the suffering to which I am condemned by a majoritarian preference.

Why?

[Sean]

If you were naked wouldn't your arse be red raw from the car seat?

When I am at home, I find that switching fabrics gives me a little extra time. I lie on a leather couch for a while, and I mercifully get to doze for maybe a half hour. Then I lay out a cotton towel, and I get to doze on that for maybe another half hour. Etc.

ETA:

And, yes, in fact, when I sit at home working or watching TV or typing things like this, parts of my arse do get red raw. The sores are not uniform, blanket coverage; there are spaces in amongst them.

I have found a chair, the one I am sitting on right now, to which my skin does not seem to react as badly. Unfortunately, I do not know what fabric that is. My late father reupholstered this chair, and he's not around for me to ask him.

And even this fabric is not perfect. It is better, but better can be a long way from good.

So now I'm going to go stand naked in my family room, blast I Was Glad and Zadok The Priest and Light's Glitt'ring Morn and the Widor Toccata, hope that with enough sound, I can block out all the other messages my brain is receiving, and hope that I can remain a good enough person -- not that I am an especially good person -- not to wish any of my afflictions on those who mock me.

Have a nice day.

Andrew, I was not mocking you. My point was that if fabric is irritating your skin then maybe going naked is not the answer unless you are able to hover above the car seat. Maybe the real answer is that you shouldn't be driving with your condition. Surely the kind of discomfort you described will affect your concentration and make you a danger to yourselves and others.

[Andrew D]

Sorry, Sean; I did not mean to imply that you were mocking me. That comment was directed a different poster in this thread.

(My wife is watching something at the moment, so I'll be here a bit longer before it's super loud music time.)

With respect to the driving, sitting on fabric is one thing; being encased in it is something else. And even when I have to drive clothed, which is most of the time -- I have made it to and through a local drive-through burger joint by just tossing a towel on my lap at the crucial moment, but that's a rare sort of thing -- the effect of the clothing is quite the contrary of my being distracted. If I can focus on one thing, other things recede. So I end up being the world's most attentive driver. I fill my head with the status of traffic lights even several blocks ahead, the numbers of cars ahead of me and behind me and in adjacent lanes and everywhere else, all the data provided by the dashboard instrumentation, and anything else I can.

The alternative is to let the pain control me. And if I were to let that happen, then I wouldn't be able to do anything at all. Not drive, not work, not make my wife's breakfasts and lunches, not string three coherent sentences together, not get to the toilet before I shit myself. Nothing.

(By the way, when it comes to the possibility of the pain's controlling me, most of the time, the skin sores would have to take a number and stand in line. But you probably don't want the details of all that.)

Anyway, I think that it now is just about super loud music time. After I close up the doors and windows and blast my brain into a blissful nothing-exists-but-music state, I'll probably be back. (Auto da fe! Auto da fe! You know that you shouldn't, but you can't stay away!)

Cheers.

[rubato]

Just thinking out loud:

Silk? Or a caftan or daishiki type of thing which just hangs loosely from the shoulders but doesn't constrict?

Is it just the pressure, the contact, or is it possible that there is a material which does not interact with the skin in the same way. I don't know if there is a fabric based on PTFE or some similar polyfluorinated hydrocarbon which might serve. I'm wondering if a lower surface-energy material might be less likely to cause a reaction. Another option is a fabric with the surface coated with nanoparticles of PTFE (used in sailing cordage).

Can you treat the fabric with a very light coating of lanolin, olive oil, or something like that?

Sounds miserable, I hope its getting better.

yrs,
rubato

[Sue U]

Sorry to hear of your condition, Andrew, it sounds truly awful. Personally, I don't care if you (or anyone else) go naked, although I can see where the mass transit experience could get pretty gross. Nobody wore clothes for the first 150,000 years or so of homo sapiens sapiens existence, and we seem to have survived the experience.

[Guinevere]

Andrew, I'm so sorry, and so sad that you're afflicted with this awful condition. I'm sure you've researched the hell out of it, but wondering if you've run into these folks at all -- they have helped a friend of mine with some really horrible medical issues, using a variety of treatments: http://www.wholehealthchicago.com/

And there is no satisfactory answer to your question -- as a society, we have little tolerance for what is different, and we don't have near enough empathy.

[Lord Jim]

Nobody wore clothes for the first 150,000 years or so of homo sapiens sapiens existence, and we seem to have survived the experience.

Yes, and for the first 150,000+ years of Homo Sapien existence nobody had antibiotics, nobody had any written language, women and children were used sexually by any male who felt like using them, people died of old age in their early 30s, and we seemed to have survived the experience....

Anyone care to go back to that?

On the other hand, for the first 150,000 years of homo sapien existence there were no lawyers and we seemed to have survived the experience, so maybe you're on to something....

BTW, I have no idea what this supposed "condition" is that people are sympathizing with Andrew about, since I no longer read his posts. But if it involves a need for him to ponce about naked in front of other people in public, I suggest he get treatment and find some other solution...

I am however of course aware, (how could one have read his post for years and not be?) of his obsession with promoting public nudity...

Perhaps he should consider seeking treatment for that as well....

Interesting that all of a sudden he should now, for the first time, try to relate this obsession to some supposed medical condition....

A cynical person might find that, well, convenient....


(Yeah, I know I just blew my nomination for the Mr. Empathy Award, but to quote another poster, "boo fucking hoo")

ETA:

Why do I get the distinct impression that no matter what Andrew posts there are a couple of folks here who will rise to support it? If Andrew were to write a post on the merits of cannibalism, I suspect I would see posts from them along the lines of "Well, human flesh is an excellent source of protein, but people are resistant to new ideas"...

[Andrew D]

You pretty much lost me with the chemistry stuff there, rubato. I did a little Googling, but I didn't find anything helpful.

You may be right, Sue U, about the public transit experience. But aren't most public transit experiences pretty gross anyway? Maybe if we were all naked, we'd have less tolerance for being herded like cattle.

The doctors have a diagnosis, Guinevere. And they appear to be right, or at least on the right track, because the steroid goo actually makes it considerably less bad than it was without it. What is puzzling is why the treatment is not working a whole lot better than it is. It is really, really strong goo: When I first started using it, I made an application error, and it ate through one of my fingernails. (The replacement has grown in quite nicely.) If they gave me anything stronger -- if anyone even makes anything stronger -- I wouldn't have to worry about a skin condition; the skin just wouldn't be there.

I have my own theory. And the doctors do not disagree; they just do not find it helpful. (Nor, for that matter, do I.) The sins of my youth. I spent a couple of decades beating the shit out of this poor, mistreated shell that I inhabit. And because I was a precocious child, my body didn't even have a chance to adjust to puberty before I began assaulting it with a vigor which one might well describe as malicious if it hadn't been so recreational.

And now I am paying the price.

All in all, though, the price is not so high. The most amazing woman I know has stayed with me for twenty years. Twenty years that, according to doctors who were treating me in my early teens, I shouldn't have even seen the beginning of, let alone made it through.

My mind still functions, even though the body through which it operates is not working so well. I still have opportunities to use my talents for the benefit of the less fortunate around me.

And I can still play the piano.

So who am I to complain?

(Complaining, by the way, has never been the purpose of this thread. The purpose all along has been to demonstrate, using myself as a living example, that there are very good reasons to oppose anti-nudity laws -- reasons which have nothing to do with exhibitionism.)

(And when it comes to prices, the skin condition is middling. It sucks, but if I were able to choose, I would keep the skin condition in order to get rid of the kidney stones -- several of which are already observable, just waiting to mess with me, probably at inopportune moments -- in a heartbeat.)

Even if I were to die today, which I earnestly hope that I will not, I will still have led a far better life than I probably deserved. I would greatly prefer to go on living. But if one of my vital organs says today "Sorry, Andrew, but I just can't do it any longer," well, c'est la vie. Or c'est la mort.

Anyway, adverting to the original subject, my question was -- and still is -- how can anyone justify elevating an aesthetic preference over things that really matter? Guinevere has probably put it best:

And there is no satisfactory answer to your question -- as a society, we have little tolerance for what is different, and we don't have near enough empathy.

Can't argue with that. But maybe we could decry it a bit more ....

[Andrew D]

BTW, I have no idea what this supposed "condition" is that people are sympathizing with Andrew about, since I no longer read his posts.

And yet he keeps responding to them.

Respond to something without having bothered to read it -- that's the Lord Jim approach to just about everything.

The rest of his posting speaks for its little self.

[Rick]

"Well, human flesh is an excellent source of protein, but people are resistant to new ideas"...

Long Pork...

[Andrew D]

And here's a perverse little irony: My genitals -- the very parts of me the potential sight of which provokes such outrage/horror/indignation -- are (at least thus far, and boy do I hope it stays that way) unaffected by my skin condition.

If I wear the clothing which the law requires of me for more than a few minutes, my belly, my buttocks, my hips, my thighs all break out. But my penis and my scrotum? Nothing.

It's as if my pubic hair were some sort of magic barrier. (Which would be odd, considering that the hair in my armpits demonstrably has no such effect.)

Maybe the universe is just having a good laugh. "Ha, ha. I'm going to make it so that in order to cover the parts of you which the law requires you to cover, you'll have to endure painful, itching sores. But not on those parts. Just everywhere in the neighborhood. Ha, ha."

Maybe Lord Jim really is God ....

[Guinevere]

Andrew, you're right, we could decry it more -- and certainly we can do a better job of not rushing to judgment without the facts when we make observations about people.

As for Wholehealth, I wasn't suggesting a new diagnosis, but perhaps a broader panapoly of treatments. Steroids are so bad for your long-term health -- especially the strong ones. I've actually used acupuncture for allergies, and for some pain issues, and had good results (nothing approaching the level of your issues, but it could be worth a look).

[Crackpot]

your condition allergic or contact in nature? And did it coincide with a change in medication or even dose? I had developed quite the miserable sweating problem whos onset I didn't even notice due to it being brought on through a gradual increase in dosage of an antidepressant I was taking. It wasn't until My HMO forced me off of it for a while that I realized upon my return to my regular dose that it was what was causing my sweats.

As far as skin goes it's not all that odd there are quite a few different types of skin on the body that are effected differently by different things. I would hazzard to guess that the palms of your hands fingertips soles of your feet etc. aren't effected either.

[Jarlaxle]

Hmm...do you have to get out of your Jeep to pick up your wife? If so...well, no help, sorry. But if not...what about driving there naked, with a light towel in the console, and tossing it over your lap when you stop? For emergencies, maybe keep a pair of loose silk shorts in the console?

As for the scratch-while-sleeping problem, have you tried sleeping with cotton sweat socks on your hands?

Could you bring the chair you mentioned to an upholstery shop, or have an upholsterer come to see it? If so, he/she might be able to match the fabric. Hell...maybe find a site for furniture upholsterers and post a couple of pix of it? Long shot, but worth a shot.

(For the record, I don't care one way or the other about public nudity.)