Family Judge

[kristina]

I had always just assumed that I would have kids, but never gave it much thought. When I was 31, I started going out with the man who was to become my Spousal Unit, and on our second date he stated very clearly that he did not plan to have children, so it that was a deal-breaker for me, I had best start looking elsewhere. He was in his mid-forties at the time, and said he didn't want to be going to high-school graduations after he began to collect Social Security and use a walker.

[BoSoxGal]

I always thought I would have children, but because of my own childhood I was very cautious about a potential father for them. As I've gotten older I've contemplated going it alone, as I've seen many women do either by choice or circumstance, but the financial burdens of my student loans made me feel that planned single motherhood wasn't a wise choice for me. I'm now at a place where physically it is not really an option for me and I don't have the financial means to adopt and would not for several years still. So, at this point it looks unlikely. In some ways that makes me sad, but in others, not so much.

My recent experience step-mothering made me realize that many so-called 'good' parents these days are parenting children in ways that I would never want to parent mine, and ultimately one's own children have to live in the world with those other children. I'm not even sure I would relate to most other parents these days. While I don't believe in extremely harsh parenting such as what we originally discussed in this thread, I also don't believe that children should be coddled and indulged to the degree that seems to be the norm these days. In Youth Court I see a lot of screwed up teenagers whose lives are already headed to ruination and it seems like many of them are products not of alcoholic or abusive homes, but of homes where 'no' is not employed in the course of parenting. That boggles my mind.

[Lord Jim]

The basic problem, is that there are too many young folks (teenagers and early 20 somethings) who believe that having a child will some how fill a void in their life...

"If I have his baby he'll love me"...

"If I have a baby, the baby will love me"....

If you have that sort of attitude, get yourself a puppy...

The proper time to have a child, is when you have something to offer...

When you can get outside of yourself, and do something for another person....

When you feel you have something to give...not when you feel you need something...

That is the proper time to have a child....

[Gob]

Seconding what Jim said.

I didn't become a dad until I was 43, I wasn't ready for it before, and it had been the death of many relationships that I had not wanted kids.

I've now been Hatch's dad for 10 years, seem to be making a fair fist of it so far, she's turned into an amazing person in her own right.

[Lord Jim]

I know that regular readers of this space will find this very difficult to believe, but back in the 80's I was kind of an arrogant guy....

The idea of having a family to get together with was something I sneered at;(though I grew up with that Beaver Cleaver kind of thing)

I would have much preferred to do another line of coke, and find some chick I'd never met before to spend the night with.....

And now one of my greatest feelings of self achievement comes from the fact that every year we get a nine foot Christmas Tree that stands in our loft living room...(A tree so tall, that I have to get on a ladder to finish putting the lights on it... (I always wanted to have to do that) four hundred lights...

I've become something of a legend when it comes to the tree thing...A regular Sparky Griswold...The kids in the neighborhood (and their parents) always stop by to check out "Tati's Christmas Tree...."

It's basically a slightly smaller version of the one in Rockefeller Center....

[loCAtek]

You should be thankful, I didn't make more short, brown and cute things; they have a nasty habit of growing up into Latinos and really, there are enough of those!

Remember when personal panoramic cameras were cool? There's a family shot at my Grandmother's funeral that is filled edge to edge with brown Uncles, Aunts, Kids and grandkids, but doesn't include all the cuzzins because they couldn't fit. ...and this was just my father's side of the family.

Instead, I think, I've done my part to take care of other people's kids; my foster son and my geekmate's children.

[Gob]

I've become something of a legend when it comes to the tree thing.

Some thing I've been thinking about of late. Seeing as we will be in Llanelli for Xmas, should we have a tree?

We're there for 21 st Dec, and leave on 31 Dec, so it would be fitting.

Make a change from Xmas sitting on a beach with the sun blazing down surely.

[Sean]

Our tree and decorations are up already. We decided that it would be nice for Pud to share a Christmas with his Nanny tonight before she flies back to the UK tomorrow night. So at least I get a roast dinner out of it!

[Gob]

AaAAaaaw! Sweet.

[Beer Sponge]

And now one of my greatest feelings of self achievement comes from the fact that every year we get a nine foot Christmas Tree that stands in our loft living room...(A tree so tall, that I have to get on a ladder to finish putting the lights on it... (I always wanted to have to do that) four hundred lights...

I've become something of a legend when it comes to the tree thing...A regular Sparky Griswold...The kids in the neighborhood (and their parents) always stop by to check out "Tati's Christmas Tree...."

It's basically a slightly smaller version of the one in Rockefeller Center....

Sounds nice LJ, what year do you start putting up a big tree then? The ladder I use to put up my tree is 10 feet.