At what point do you turn in a loved one?

[Crackpot]

to tell you the truth I don't put too much weight on this one incident. it was over the line. but, rather than being part of a pattern of domestic violence I see it as a result of the long term largely ignored pattern of major dysfunction that family exists in.

[Gob]

I'm a mandatory reporter, I have a legal obligation to report to care and protection services any perceived or potential child harm situations I encounter, both in and out side of my work remit.

I would have dobbed them in immediately.

Well done your missus!

[loCAtek]

It's really not a question of "evidence" its a question of the familial dynamics involved. from the attitude of "keep it in the Family" to the general attitude that you are critiquing ones ability to raise a family. I want to look at this from a social rather than a legal point of view.

I understand that CP; and unfortunately that's quite common, but its what CPS trains for. The investigation will be very, very thorough, which could take months, or even years depending. The child may, or not be placed in a shelter or foster home for the duration of the investigation for thier own safety, but that does not mean the family is going to lose the kids! In your case, CPS will likely recommend some kind of parenting classes and/or couseling with monitering and check ups.
Frankly, that sounds like the best thing for them, and the children; good on your wife for calling this in

[Jarlaxle]

Having known some foster kids...if they end up in state care, it might be kinder to just shoot them. One reason I never went nuclear on my psycho father is that I knew that as bad as he was, the foster care system is worse.

[loCAtek]

Depends on the state; I was a Licensed Foster Parent of CA. You may remember, I refered to my foster son as 'Protec'. This was '99 to '05, before the alcoholism.

[Sean]

To me it's simple CP. If you know/suspect that the children have been/are being subjected to any form of abuse (physical or otherwise) then it needs to be reported to CPS. I'm going to assume that they work in the same way there as here where every report must be investigated. As has already been said, it is not your duty to gather evidence.

Personally I wouldn't give a toss about how pissed off they were that I'd reported them. People like that neither get nor deserve the time of day from me. I don't care who they are or how closely related they are to me. The kids should be No.1 priority. IMO no other factors should be considered. Everything else can be dealt with later. The immediate well-being of the children is paramount.

[Guinevere]

Ditto what Sean said. The most important thing is the kids and their well-being. "Family" that treat children poorly don't deserve to be called family.

[Lord Jim]

Double ditto.

[Crackpot]

everyone seems to be assuming a bright line there simply isn't one. it's telling that this after 13 years together (7 married) that this is the first thing come to knowlegde that was clearly reportable. Being a bad parent is subjective. And it is not a crime to have no money management skills or be overly protective and overly cautious.

BTW the Last time CPS showed up at their doorstep.. the SIL got away with not letting them in because the dog isn't well socialized.

[dales]

BTW the Last time CPS showed up at their doorstep.. the SIL got away with not letting them in because the dog isn't well socialized.

I don't know about Mich, but this kinda crap wouldn't fly in CA.

[Crackpot]

Aren't you talking about the same state that had a convicted sex offender get away with never having his premises searched even though he had built is own "pen" in the backyard for the girl he obducted?

[dales]

He was on FEDERAL PROBATION.

[loCAtek]

So? Keep reporting it, until they, the parents, become accountable.



...otherwise, it's the children who will suffer.

[oldr_n_wsr]

It's really not a question of "evidence" its a question of the familial dynamics involved. from the attitude of "keep it in the Family" to the general attitude that you are critiquing ones ability to raise a family. I want to look at this from a social rather than a legal point of view.

You know, my wife wanted to go that route with my alcoholism and her family.Didn't want them to know outside her sister and father, but I said let everyone know. Maybe then they'll stop asking me if I want a beer (or scotch or whatever) as in years past, as soon as I got to any occasion, I was first in line for the bar.

As far as the case at hand, I can only parrot what others have said. But forget what the family will think of you, I'm sure that many will think (if not say) "glad someone called the authorities".

Good luck and you and your wife did the right thing.

[Joe Guy]

You should "turn in" or report a loved one to the authorities whenever you suspect there is a problem. It shouldn't be any different than reporting a stranger.

Let the authorities investigate and decide what needs to be done. Sometimes you may have to report them more than once before CPS can find enough evidence to show there really is abuse or whatever it is you have reported.

You can make a report anonymously or you can give them your name and request that they keep your identity confidential. Either way, consider the victim, whether it be children or a spouse when making your report. It's better to do something now than to wonder whether or not you should act.