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My Name Is James And I'm An Alcoholic...

Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 4:00 pm
by Lord Jim
(had ya goin' there, didn't I 8-) )
Science Confirms James Bond Is an Alcoholic

How many times have you saved the world with a massive hangover?

British spy James Bond is nearly as well known for his signature drink—a martini, “shaken, not stirred”—as he is for his exploits as Mi6′s deadliest double-agent. A new BMJ study finally explains why, shedding light on 007′s truly colossal tippling habits.

Thanks to an exhaustive examination of Ian Fleming’s 14 Bond novels, we now know that 007 averaged 92 drinks per week (more than 13 per day), more than four times the recommended amount. On one especially prodigious day, Bond consumed just shy of 50 “alcohol units.” Out of the 87.5 days he was able to drink (i.e. any day he wasn’t incarcerated or hospitalized) in the books, Bond abstained for fewer than 13. You Only Live Twice was Bond’s most aggressive effort, downing nearly 226 drinks over the course of the novel and The Man With the Golden Gun his least, consuming just 41.5 units (over the course of three days).

The study further posits that Bond’s “shaken, not stirred” request was made due to persistent alcohol-induced tremors—a common symptom of wild overconsumption. But if this were truly an affliction that Commander Bond suffered, it’s unlikely that he would be able to fire a gun, defuse a bomb or complete one of the other countless espionage acts he’s regularly tasked with performing. Then again, 007 operates in a universe with deadly guns made purely out of gold, steel-toothed giants and, more often than one might expect, lasers—so anything’s really possible.

Read more: James Bond Is an Alcoholic, Study Confirms | TIME.com http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/12/12/sci ... z2nN4PxX2W

Re: My Name Is James And I'm An Alcoholic...

Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 9:52 pm
by Joe Guy
We all know that you're crying out for help, Jim.

But I believe I can speak for most people here and say that we're here to support you whenever you decide to admit to being a deluded pathetic dipsomaniacal knuckle dragging sot... :ok

Re: My Name Is James And I'm An Alcoholic...

Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 10:39 pm
by Lord Jim
Thanks Joe, what a lovely thing to say...

That's exactly the sort of warm personal support I come here for...

Re: My Name Is James And I'm An Alcoholic...

Posted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 1:38 am
by rubato
Fleming died at 56 of a heart attack brought on by heavy drinking and smoking.

Guess it was on his mind a lot.




Yrs,
Rubato

Re: My Name Is James And I'm An Alcoholic...

Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 2:28 pm
by oldr_n_wsr
it’s unlikely that he would be able to fire a gun, defuse a bomb or complete one of the other countless espionage acts he’s regularly tasked with performing.
The writers of this underestimate the abilities of alcoholics. We usually needed a few drinks to be "normal" (stop the shakes, cure the headache, etc). Then we could start the day. :ok

ETA
LordJim, if you need to talk to someone about your problem, I'm just a PM away. :nana

Re: My Name Is James And I'm An Alcoholic...

Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 3:08 pm
by MajGenl.Meade
...and if oldr's busy LJ, I'm just a Pimms away, Pimms away,
If I don't get some shelter
Oh yeah, I'm gonna fade away