House for sale, going cheap

[Gob]

Dramatic pictures have been released showing the destruction wrought by a huge boulder that smashed through a farm in Northern Italy after being dislodged by a landslide.

The massive rock narrowly missed a farm house, destroyed a barn, and stopped in a vineyard at the property in Ronchi di Termeno.

A second giant boulder detached during the landslide stopped behind the house.

The family living there was unharmed in the incident, on 21 January.





http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-25975251

[Sue U]

Bocce, obvs.

[Guinevere]

Bocce, obvs.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

(Wine has *nothing* to do with my giggles. I'm just very very glad January 2014 is coming to an end!)

[Joe Guy]

I read that the boulder was actually a huge meatball that rolled downhill from a spaghetti farm.

[rubato]

Gravity, its-a the Law!

Galileo, whats-a he know? He-a say that a smalla rock and a beeg-a rock fall at the same-a rate. See? The smalla rock he don' even smash-a the house but the Beeg-a rock he go right threw like butta!

( I put the sun in the middle just-a for a joke, now I put the earth back and fixit up nice, like it was.)

yrs,
God

[Lord Jim]

[rubato]

Don Novello, my sister knows him.


yrs,
rubato

[Lord Jim]

Don Novello, my sister knows him.


yrs,
rubato

rube, for the first time in 16 years, you've said something that genuinely impresses me...Don Novello is a true comedic genius.

I saw him at the Plush Room at the Fairmont (Doing father Sarducci) back in the late 80's and got to go back stage and spoke with him briefly, but I certainly don't know him....

My introduction to Novello was in college when I came across a book he wrote entitled:

The Lazlo Letters: the amazing, real-life actual correspondence of Lazlo Toth, American!



I still have it...

For those not familiar with it, it's a formula that's been done a lot of times since ( similar to "emails from an asshole") but Novello was the first one to come up with it...

He created a character, Lazlo Toth, who was earnest and sincere sounding but a clueless fool, and then as this persona he wrote really idiotic but detailed letters to politicians and corporations, and he would get back responses from folks who took him seriously, (which of course made them the ones who were really clueless...)

The collection of back and forth letters is absolutely hysterical; to this day it remains one of the funniest books I've ever read...(He compiled a second edition later, but it wasn't quite as funny; I suspect in the later collection some of the targets may have known who Lazlo Toth was)

Here's a sample to give you the flavor of it:

From: Lazlo Toth ...... February 18, 1974
To: Mr. Bubble, Gold Seal Company

Dear Gentlemen: I want you to know first of all that I enjoy your product. It's always refreshing to spend some time in the tub with some bubbles. However, I must confess I am puzzled by some of the instructions on the box. It says: "KEEP DRY". How can you use it if you keep it dry?

Thought you'd be interested to know someone like me caught the mistake. I thought you'd like to know.

Sincerely, Lazlo Toth

To: Lazlo Toth ...... February 26, 1974
From: M. Hershey, Consumer Relations Director, Gold Seal Company

Dear Friend:
Thank you for your recent letter regarding "MR BUBBLE", which has been referred to this Customer Relations Department for reply. We are pleased to know that you enjoy using "MR BUBBLE" and that you find it refreshing to spend some time in the tub in a bubble bath. It is true we do say on our box: Free Flowing "MR BUBBLE" must be kept dry. By this statement we mean that the box of powder should be protected against moisture in the bathroom if the box is not put away.

The box of "MR BUBBLE" should be closed and placed in a cabinet until the next use. Some people tell us they transfer the "MR BUBBLE" powder to a plastic container, or even a large coffee can, to keep dampness out of the powder. Some have mentioned they keep a measuring scoop in the can for convenient measuring of the proper amount of powder to use in each bath. Over-use is only wasteful. Our other products are listed above in our letterhead.

We are enclosing an educational bulletin based on our "SNOWY" BLEACH which we would appreciate your giving to your mother. Perhaps you already use "SNOWY" in your home. "SNOWY" is the safe oxygen-type bleach for all washable fabrics and colorfast dyes. When regular laundry such as sheets, towels, underwear and linens are washed with "SNOWY" from the very beginning, and in each wash load, these items will have stronger fiber strength, longer life and better appearance than when harsh chlorine bleaches are used. Thank you again for writing to us. Yours very truly


From: Lazlo Toth ...... March 1, 1974

To: M. Hershey, Consumer Relations Director, Gold Seal Company

Dear M. Hershey,

I was being nice to tell you about the error you have on your box and you send me coupons and tell me to give an additional bulletin about stains to my Mother. To begin with, I wouldn't give your lousy educational bulletin #22 to nobody! Everybody I know knows more about stains and that stuff than your fancy company will ever know! Why you don't even know how to thank someone when they offer you an intelligent suggestion!

And then you have the nerve to try and give me some pitch about your BLEACH! I was writing about MR. BUBBLE, I don't care about BLEACH! What does BLEACH have to do with it? Come on! And how come the only words in capitals are your SNOWY BLEACH and MR. BUBBLE while my Mother doesn't even get a capital for her M! This is a warning that I'm thinking of moving on to another bubble bath. Stand by our President! With a right to be angry,

Lazlo Toth

If you like this sort of thing, I've found a link to a lot of both the original and second collection of exchanges:

http://www.sullivansfarms.net/s1dneycom/lazlo/

[oldr_n_wsr]

House for sale, going cheap

Me thinks the Flying Spagetti Monster is pissed at us.
All hail his noodly appendiges.

[Gob]

Not so lucky this time

Two people were killed when a falling boulder derailed a tourist train in the southern French Alps, local officials and firefighters say.



At least nine people were injured.

The train was travelling from Nice to the town of Digne-les-Bains on a line which crosses gorges and viaducts at up to 1,000m (3,200ft) above sea level.

Images from the scene show the two-carriage train dangling from the tracks, the side of one carriage caved in by the rock.

Local prosecutor Stephane Kellenberger told AFP news agency that one of the dead was a Russian woman, while the other victim came from the Alps region.

One of the injured is said to be in a critical condition, while the others, including the driver, are reported to have sustained lighter injuries.

"A rock the size of a car came off the mountainside and slammed into the first car of the train,'' Jean Ballester, mayor of nearby Annot, told BFM television.

There were a total of 34 people on board at the time of the accident, AFP news agency reports.