The MOTU's Ad People are Following Me

[Joe Guy]

I'm not sure when this began but it recently has come to my attention. The internet is reading my mind and trying to control it. I am creating a foil hat at the moment in the hope that it will have a deterring effect on their mind melding.

Recently I was browsing on Amazon and looked at some telescopes. The same day I had read somewhere about cane swords and so I searched on Google and viewed a few of them.

Last week I bought a Sonos sound bar for my TV. It is an expandable wireless system that I do plan to expand by adding more speakers.

Yesterday when I did some browsing I noticed an ad for canes at a website. I thought, "What a coincidence and what are the chances?" and clicked on the ad and realized it was a place I'd already viewed.

This morning I logged on to sfgate.com (my home page) and clicked on "Weather" and there were only three ads on the page. One was for canes, another for telescopes and a third for speakers.

I immediately closed my window shades and put duct tape over my laptop's camera lens and and put on a Reynolds aluminum hat.

I'm telling you this because if I end up spending all my money on telescopes, speakers and canes and then end up missing, you will know what happened.

Just a minute! Someone is knocking on my door.

I'm not going to answer.

Who is that? I'll look through the shades.

No...no......NOooooooooo!!! It's a man with a cane carrying a speaker and a telescope!!!!

I'm not going to answer that door. Maybe he will just go away.

ghjhqpeih32^#........#$$&!!!!!!!!

[Econoline]

Was this man also riding a Harley with Vermont plates and carrying an electric guitar?

[Lord Jim]

You better hurry up and buy that cane sword...