I'm Registering . . .

[BoSoxGal]

. . . for a CNA course starting in January.

During my 2009 layoff when I did hospice care for my friend who was dying of breast cancer, I determined that nursing the terminally ill was something I'd really like to do.

Ended up back in the law, but now that life has put me in a place to make new beginnings, this is what I'm hoping to do.

Wish me luck; I was a Zoology major for 3 years in college, so don't think the coursework will be any trouble. Hoping to do in-home hospice care.

[MajGenl.Meade]

My daughter's trying to do the same thing. She's been doing home help for the aged for years now, but without a degree it's a poorly paid slog with up and down hours. She loves it. And we've visited some of her "old folks" too

[BoSoxGal]

Thanks for the encouragement Meade, and best to your daughter.

I know it's not stress-free work by the wildest stretch of the imagination, but it feels more meaningful to me than all the lawyering I've done (well, except that one case where I convicted a child molester) and that makes all the difference to me.

[Scooter]

You have to go where your passion is. A lawyer friend of mine quit a job where he was earning close to a quarter million a year and took a $50K job writing policy briefs on HIV issues, advocating for things like enhanced post-market surveillance of drugs, prison needle exchange programs, expanding access to rapid HIV testing, decriminalizing drug use and prostitution, etc., etc., etc. Another friend who was an investment banker earning a solid six figures gave it up and sold his house to live on the proceeds while he pursued a lifelong dream to become an actor. Both are so clearly far happier and enjoying life much more than they ever did before the switch.

[BoSoxGal]

Thanks for the encouragement, Scooter.

I too will be forgoing significant financial gain to take this path - I've been offered assistant DA positions at a very good salary, benefits, etc. to stay here in Montana and put more poor people - mainly Indians - in jail. It's not the legacy I want to leave, and I'm pretty sure everyone here is well aware of how miserable I've been for the past several years as a cog in the criminal injustice machine.

I'm feeling terribly cliche about all this, but it turns out that when you hit middle age and you realize your health isn't a given and you don't really have time, suddenly it matters much more to be happy and feeling a sense of true purpose than it ever did before.

I was never really interested in money, and to be honest I balked at law school when I realized the debt I would incur, but went anyway because it was clearly my mother's wish and at that time I hadn't yet realized than no accomplishment of mine would ever be enough.

My mother is dead now and all that is left is for me to finally live an authentic life.

[Lord Jim]

You may not believe this BSG, (because lord knows you and I have had our confrontations over the years) but I really do wish you well...

And I also want to say that I think it took a lot of courage on your part, to be so forthcoming and honest about the "real" problems you've been facing....

I have to say, and I mean this sincerely, that my respect level for you has gone way up in the last couple of weeks....

You dropped the "facade" and you candidly and honestly laid all your cards on the table; even though you knew that someone might see that as an opportunity to ridicule you....

That took guts... that showed real character...

If you approach the challenges that lie ahead of you with the same sort of fearless honesty that you have exhibited here these past couple of weeks, you will do just fine

[Gob]

What he said

[BoSoxGal]

I do believe you, Jim. I know that even though we've both been jerks to each other at times, you're a decent human being. I'm sorry for being such an ass at times, I really am.

To be honest I don't like the person I'd become over the past several years practicing law, and it's why I've been able to graciously accept my MS diagnosis and the failure of my practice as blessings in disguise. Truth be told, I think I could actually make a go of my practice, if I was willing to do work that crushes my soul and makes me miserable every day, and if I was willing to sue my clients to get paid when necessary. I just can't do it; I live in a poor area and it's hard to say no and hard to take money from people I know are struggling.

And I mean no disrespect whatsoever to the other attorneys on the board; I think they are decent human beings too, any differences aside. I just realize that what my still small voice has been telling me since law school is true; I may be a good advocate and good at arguing on my feet and it's not boasting to say I've had lots of compliments on my courtroom presence, etc. - but the truth is I hate the adversarial nature of the work, I don't want to be arguing all the time, I don't want to wallow in the worst of human experience. Maybe another area of law would have been better, I didn't mind the estate planning I did this past year, and maybe when I get settled in Maine I'll seek licensure and do some elder law here and there. We'll see . . .

Yeah, I was an asshole at times the past few years and I'm sorry to everyone who was ever upset by my words here. (Except Chicken Steve! )

The fear I've experienced over my unstable health and not knowing what was wrong with me, the deep-seated feeling I was working against my own principles - I do think I was a fair and honest prosecutor compared to many, but it's hard to be putting people in jail in such a broken system, especially when so many are mentally ill or addicted and really just need help - living somewhere that just wasn't home; it's all taken a toll and made me a really unhappy person at times and really unhappy people can be huge assholes.

I'm turning a new leaf and truly appreciate any clean slates you'll allow me.

[rubato]

Sorry about the MS. But I'm glad to hear that you are pursuing what matters to you.


yrs,
rubato

[BoSoxGal]

Thanks, rubato. I'm hoping that I can manage and minimize the effects of my MS by clean eating, exercise and diligent stress management. I'm very focused now on living in the moment and putting myself first in healthy ways. I've finally realized that you really can't help others until you first help yourself; I'm shaking off the unhealthy aspects of my Puritan upbringing.

[rubato]

Thanks, rubato. I'm hoping that I can manage and minimize the effects of my MS by clean eating, exercise and diligent stress management. I'm very focused now on living in the moment and putting myself first in healthy ways. I've finally realized that you really can't help others until you first help yourself; I'm shaking off the unhealthy aspects of my Puritan upbringing.

Odd disease. We had two neighbors with it in Portland and I learned that the incidence is much higher across the northern tier states, independent of national origin.




Apparently it is true for the other side of the equator as well, rates rise as you move away from the equator.



There is a lot of work on vitamin D and MS as a result.

But I'm sure you know all of this already.


yrs,
rubato

[BoSoxGal]

I know it's starting to be linked to many diseases/disorders, and that my D.O. has me on 4000 IU/day. A year ago I had to go through 2 12-week courses of 50,000 IU/week after my levels were very, VERY low. I was also 'prescribed' 20 minutes in the sun between 10-4 every day, but between October-April in this latitude that's useless, only works in the summer months. According to my D.O., anyway.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Good luck, good thoughts and prayers to you bigskygal. Whatever happens, I know you will land on your feet. It's never too late to follow your dreams/calling. My mother, grandmother and now my aunt all were cared for by terminal care nurses. They truly are angels.