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Woman Who Lived to Be 109-Years-Old Said That Avoiding Men Was Her Secret to Long Life

We don’t know about you, but whenever we encounter someone going strong into their 80s, 90s, and, even, 100s, we end up bombarding the poor senior with a long list of uninterrupted questions, from queries about what life was like when they were growing up to common sense matters regarding relationships, money, education, and so much more.

That said, the most important question that, we feel, every person who has lived a long life should be asked, goes a little something like this: What’s your secret?

We know, we know, it might not be the most original of conversational requests, but it’s one that is pointed enough to evoke some pretty interesting answers.

Take the case of Jessie Gallan, for example. This late, great Scottish woman ended up gracing this earth until she was 109-years-old, making her one of the long-living people in the history of Scotland.

Although she passed away several years back, in March of 2015, her words still live on in the hearts and minds of folks all over the world. This is possible due to the very memorable interviews that she participated in, the year before her death. Believe it or not, this supercentenarian (only people nearing the age of 110 earn that illustrious title!), actually ended up going viral, following the publishing of some pretty hilarious life advice.

In a 2014 interview with The Scotsman, Jessie revealed that one of the reasons why she had made it to her ripe old age was because she “[stayed] away from men.” According to her, men are “just more trouble than they’re worth.” (preach it, sister!)

Now, before all of you budding supercentenarians start re-thinking your marriages, Jessie also revealed that her daily habit of eating porridge also probably helped her live such a long life, too. While we agree that bad relationships can take years off of a person’s life, remaining a lone wolf is too tall an order for many of us. But, porridge–porridge we can do!

The late Jessie Gallan was born all the way back in 1906, in the small farming community of Kintore, Scotland where her family of eight all bunked up in a tiny, two-room cottage. According to her, the Gallans experienced financial issues throughout her early life, nonetheless, it was a childhood full of joy.

In terms of career, Gallan left school early, deciding to try her hand as a waitress and a maid; she worked in the service industry for much of her life. When she reached her golden years, she moved into the Crosby House, a retirement home that specializes in the care of ill or single seniors. There, Gallan was the resident social butterfly, participating in activities and always socializing with her best friend, Sarah Jane.

What a simple, lovely existence Jessie Gallan lived! To learn more about this supercentenarian, be sure to watch her interview for yourself below.

[BoSoxGal]

Given that every time I open the DM is seems like I find at least one story of a woman horrifically murdered by boyfriend/husband/ex/stalker, I’d say she’s onto something.

Studies also show while marriage improves men’s health, it is less beneficial to women’s health. Other studies show that while men who divorce or are widowed are highly likely to remarry relatively quickly, fewer divorced and widowed women do the same.

I’m sure all the husbands here are outliers, but from my own observation of friends and family over a fairly wide class distribution, and perusing the forums of the inter webs, most wives spend their lives attending to a great deal of household drudgery and childcare drudgery on top of there are sprouts in the house. Many wives consider their husbands to be another child because of the imbalance in distribution of household work. Maybe they’re all lying, I can’t honestly be sure.

As for myself - I often miss the ideal of marriage that I nurture in my head but since I’ve never seen it in reality and only depicted in film and novels, I’m guessing my chances of achieving it would have been minimal so what am I really missing? Meanwhile I didn’t have to spend decades of my life watching football and other sports and stupid action and sophomoric humor movies and cleaning up after someone who didn’t really pitch in much but expected me to cheerfully suck him off and complained endlessly when I didn’t. Blech.

[ex-khobar Andy]

Per BSG:

Meanwhile I didn’t have to spend decades of my life watching football and other sports and stupid action and sophomoric humor movies and cleaning up after someone who didn’t really pitch in much but expected me to cheerfully suck him off and complained endlessly when I didn’t. Blech.

BSG I don't want to start a riot; but if I wrote:

Meanwhile I didn’t have to spend decades of my life watching Kardashian 'reality' shows and ice dancing and Jane Austen movies and cutting the grass and putting oil in her car but expected me to cheerfully suck her off and complained endlessly when I didn’t. Blech.

you would, rightly, accuse me of sexist thinking. Please bear that in mind.

[Big RR]

Face it, in many situations the reason one party (usually the woman) thinks they are doing more in the way of household drudgery is because they want everything done their way. It's been a long time since I lived alone, but I rarely made my bed (except when I changed the sheets or company was coming), was perfectly content to leave dirty dishes soaking in the sink, did the wash only when I was down to the bare minimum of clothes, and vacuumed only when I noticed the dirt (or, again, when I was having company). My wife and I lasted this long because we made a deal that we would never try to tell the other what to do--if it was that important we would do it ourselves. Many days the bed still goes unmade or the dishes unwashed--big deal. the hosue is still clean, even if it is a bit cluttered--we don't have to live in a show home.

On the other side of the divide, I have a friend whose ex-wife cleaned before the housekeeper comes for her weekly visits (because she didn't "know how to clean) and kept pushing him to do much of the same. They eventually split and I know he's a lot happier; I would imagine she is as well.

We're lucky if we find people we can live with for a little while, let alone for life. I consider myself lucky; and while I won't say we avoid every fight, we certainly do avoid the big ones that have plagued some friends. I would agree, however, that it is far better to be alone, than to be married to the wrong person.

ETA: my wife's brother, on the other hand, is a neat freak whose wife eventually divorced him due to his obsession; he lives alone in a house which doesn't even look lived in and he is still constantly cleaning. OCD knows no gender.

[BoSoxGal]

Per BSG:

Meanwhile I didn’t have to spend decades of my life watching football and other sports and stupid action and sophomoric humor movies and cleaning up after someone who didn’t really pitch in much but expected me to cheerfully suck him off and complained endlessly when I didn’t. Blech.

BSG I don't want to start a riot; but if I wrote:

Meanwhile I didn’t have to spend decades of my life watching Kardashian 'reality' shows and ice dancing and Jane Austen movies and cutting the grass and putting oil in her car but expected me to cheerfully suck her off and complained endlessly when I didn’t. Blech.

you would, rightly, accuse me of sexist thinking. Please bear that in mind.

The very real issue of household and child rearing labor divide in American cisgendered heterosexual marriages has been studied at length by sociologists, economists, et al. and has everything to do with long-standing, sexist gender roles - there’s no other way to discuss it than to speak to them.

If women’s extra work was compensated and we didn’t also face the injustice of our wages for ‘real’ work being 30% lower than men’s then maybe we could say it’s about who is pickier about cleanliness. That’s manifestly not what I’m getting at - the larger point is that studies show women are still doing way more of the BASIC work of keeping a house and raising kids - and that men don’t even recognize it. (SURPRISE, SURPRISE!)

[RayThom]

... As for myself - I often miss the ideal of marriage that I nurture in my head but since I’ve never seen it in reality and only depicted in film and novels, I’m guessing my chances of achieving it would have been minimal so what am I really missing? Meanwhile I didn’t have to spend decades of my life watching football and other sports and stupid action and sophomoric humor movies and cleaning up after someone who didn’t really pitch in much but expected me to cheerfully suck him off and complained endlessly when I didn’t. Blech.

My marriage was so regretful and depressing. (I was blessed with a wonderful daughter due to it, however.) You really aren't missing much, trust me. I enjoy being with people on a regular basis, but I enjoy my solitude more. I have been an independent spirit for as long as I can remember. An occasional "friend with benefits" is all I ever needed. Whatever gets you through the night, so to speak.

Anyway, in my solitude, I can debate and argue both sides of an issue with myself, often coming up with the best solutions that get me through life. I can't do that when I'm with friends without appearing indecisive or ambivalent.

All in all, life is good.

They travel the fastest (best) who travels alone.

[BoSoxGal]

Thank you for sharing that honest reflection.

I take no joy in other people’s painful experiences, but as a lesson and a salve, I have to admit that sometimes when I’m feeling sad about being a spinster I read forums where people post about their miserable marriages (it seems like being in one can be a LOT worse than the worst days of feeling lonely), or their impossible in-laws, or their ungrateful children and it helps me remember the many blessings of my abundance of ‘me’ time. I do wish that my best friends weren’t so scattered to the four corners, but I’m really glad to have one lifelong friend under my own roof and to be an awesome auntie to her awesome kid - that’s a pretty good crew. The man of the house is ok, too.

[Long Run]

I can debate and argue both sides of an issue with myself,

Who wouldn't want to be a fly on the wall when Ray and Thom go at it!

[BoSoxGal]

PS, I just wanted to say that I DO KNOW that there are good marriages out there in which people stay relatively in love over the long haul. I think they are the minority and they are very lucky or very hardworking (or both) people.

[Big RR]

That’s manifestly not what I’m getting at - the larger point is that studies show women are still doing way more of the BASIC work of keeping a house and raising kids - and that men don’t even recognize it. (SURPRISE, SURPRISE!)

And my question is, why is this?
Except in a small portion of the cases, the women are not MADE to do these chores by threats of violence, and divorce laws are fairly liberal (not necessarily as to support, but as to the ability to get one), so why stay in this uneven relationship? Sure, children may be a problem in some, but then why have the children if you do not like the relationship you are in? Most people do not have children right away, and there are plenty of ways to avoid children until you are ready; face it, if you are doing most of the housework before children, it's quite likely you'll be having a lot more work after them.

For couples, it's quite easy to making the work more equitable--just don't do more than your share. If my wife or I don't make dinner one night, the other one will have to do so or we will not eat--it's pretty simple. Ditto for other housework, I've done the laundry plenty of times because I needed clean clothes--I didn't just order my wife to do the laundry (and if I tried I imagine she'd only do hers. These uneven relationships develop because the parties are willing to let them develop.

As for kids, I knew I wanted children, but I also knew that I wouldn't want to abandon my career and become a full time parent (and if I wasn't willing to do that, I knew I couldn't ask my wife to do it unless that is what she wanted); we discussed it and worked out a way it would work for us, but I knew if we couldn't work it out, we couldn't have children. You can't have everything in life, and if neither of us were willing to make the sacrifices necessary, then we would be a childless couple. Yes, children can complicate the relationship, and yes, I would imagine some guys might be on their best behavior and slack off after the kids are born; but my guess is this is in the minority of cases, as I have heard many women in childless couples complain about them doin most of the work.

Face it, as the base marriage is a partnership in which both partners can and should share the load. If you can't discuss and work out something as basic as this, perhaps it's time to terminate that marriage and enter into a more equitable partnership (especially before you have kids); life is far too short to do anything different.

[MajGenl.Meade]

... and anyway what's wrong with Jane Austen movies?

[Big RR]

Jane Austen made movies?

[BoSoxGal]

I'm sorry BigRR, but your response only shows that you are way out of touch with the way most people live.

[MajGenl.Meade]

I'm with you, Big RR. Mind, my wife rejects my argument about meals.

She does all the menu planning, we share the shopping, we share the cooking and I always (but always) do all the dishes. But once every four years she'll say, "I'm tired of planning. Why don't you take over?"

To which I reply, "Fine by me. White or brown bread for the peanut and jelly sandwiches, the beans on toast and the welsh rarebit?"

She's so afraid of my ideas of a good menu that there's almost four more years of not worrying.

I think there's something ignoble about the entire thing

PS I'm clueless about Jane Austen's movies. I thought he meant the ones she liked to watch.

[Big RR]

I don't think so, BSG; but if people do live differently (and I'm certain some do), why do they choose to live that way? Yes, I imagine some people feel trapped, but I (like apparently you) would much rather not be with anyone than with a partner I am unhappy with. I won't say every chore is shared equally, but I will will say that neither of us believes we have the right to force the other to do any particular chore. When the kids were young we had to sometime work out how a particular mandatory task (such as going to the doctor, e.g.) would be done, but we both chose to have the children and we both had to live with consequences of that decision. But absent the care of the children (or possibly a pet) there is very little that absolutely has to be done, and my feeling is if someone doesn't choose to do it, then don't do it. For a childless couple, one partner taking on 80% of the work voluntarily makes no sense unless (s)he wants to do it.

eta: One thing I'd be interested to find out is how much housework single women do as compared with single men.

[BoSoxGal]

It blows my mind how totally out of touch you are. Sorry. Do you know nothing about domestic violence statistics in this country? That's just the cases that get reported, which is likely the tip of the iceberg. It's not about 'feeling' like you can't change the dynamic of your marriage/cohabitation situation.

You have a very blessed life, BigRR. It is not anywhere near the norm.

[Big RR]

BSG--I have conceded that some of the reasons some women do more of the work may be due to domestic violence, but are you honestly saying that a majority of those women are doing so because of fear of domestic violence if they do not? I simply do not believe that, anymore than I believe that most men are abusive. Clearly domestic violence is something which should not be tolerated (and I am well aware of what effects it can cause), but the highest estimates I have read is that 20 - 25% of women have expereince3d some form of physical abuse, while the majority of women are routinely stated as doing a higher share of household duties. It may be a contributing factor, but it is nowhere near the "norm". But please, if you maintain that I am wrong, show me your statistics.

Personally, I think many women do the extra work because of societal pressures--no one blame the man if the house is untidy, but society will blame the woman; and this is an area where I feel women should push back.

[ex-khobar Andy]

It blows my mind how totally out of touch you are. Sorry. Do you know nothing about domestic violence statistics in this country? That's just the cases that get reported, which is likely the tip of the iceberg. It's not about 'feeling' like you can't change the dynamic of your marriage/cohabitation situation.

You have a very blessed life, BigRR. It is not anywhere near the norm.

How the hell did we get onto domestic violence? My earlier post (I admit to a little shit-stirring) was simply to say that BSG had made what I thought was a noxious generalization and I called her on it by pointing out that if we substituted female 'supposed characteristics' for the male equivalents (e.g., watching the Kardashians for watching football) (and BTW when I used to live in a football town the women I knew were every bit as focused on the team as the men - I can't say the same about the Ks because I don't know a single person who admits to watching them) it very obviously became a nasty sexist statement.

I understand the basic point BSG was making - plenty of marriages are unhappy and yes, in the US and elsewhere women are very frequently demeaned in and out of marriage, in the workplace and at play - but making a vicious sexist generalization does nothing to address that.

[BoSoxGal]

Right, I’m full of shit and a vicious bitch to boot - not the first time I’ve come up against that wall here.

[Big RR]

Well, I was actually enjoying the discussion, but I guess all good things must come to an end.