Grocery shopping nowadays makes me feel like a big risk taker. After all, I'm in the category of most likely to be dead if captured by the COVID-19 virus. I don't have any underlying illnesses but having a longer road behind me than ahead of me is kind of an illness in itself.
So anyway, as I'm sure everyone knows, Safeway and most other grocery stores now have early morning shopping hours for old grouches, fogies, coots and other types of wrinkled people. I thought to myself, "Hey, that's great! I'm going to exercise a privilege I've earned by living so long and I'll get up early and shop for bread and stuff!"
So, I arrived at the Safeway at about 7:30 AM and I guess I was a little late. There was a line about 5 miles long populated by people of all ages. Everyone in line was at least 6 feet apart, so on a pre-covid day it would probably have been about 1 mile long. Then I realized they were only letting in a limited amount of people at a time.
To make a long story short, when I finally made it into the store I realized there were more people in the store than when I normally go, which is somewhere around 2:00 PM. They had aisles marked "One Way" but nobody was taking them seriously. It was impossible to keep a 6 foot distance from anyone. Also, there were plenty of people in their thirties and forties (entitled pricks) who seemed to enjoy standing in the middle of an aisle scratching their asses instead of thinking there might be someone else in the store who might want to move past them.
I could go on more about this but thinking about it is affecting my blood pressure and I'm getting the vapors and I just farted.
Anyway, I've decided that the senior privilege hours at grocery stores are a conspiracy to infect and eliminate anyone over 60 so this country and the rest of the world won't need to manufacture so many ventilators. They can't fool me. Now pardon me while I go to Safeway. I need to buy some roughage for a salad so I can maintain regular bowel movements....
So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
Do you have enough toilet paper for that?
“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.”
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
If you’d been reading my posts you’d have saved yourself the trouble - I tried early hour for seniors/immune compromised a couple of weeks ago and found it to be a much bigger nightmare than regular hours.
I’ve found that it is still best to go in the last half hour before they close. All of my local grocery stores are now closing earlier - I guess for more restocking and cleaning time - but I still find that last half hour is very quiet and everyone shopping is usually single or at most pairs, no kids, most have a list and are very efficient. I’ve always been frustrated by the people who ponder endlessly at the grocery store, but they’re even more annoying now.
I’ve found that it is still best to go in the last half hour before they close. All of my local grocery stores are now closing earlier - I guess for more restocking and cleaning time - but I still find that last half hour is very quiet and everyone shopping is usually single or at most pairs, no kids, most have a list and are very efficient. I’ve always been frustrated by the people who ponder endlessly at the grocery store, but they’re even more annoying now.
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
~ Carl Sagan
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
I hope so. Up to now I've been lucky finding TP. But who knows?
It's a jung... I say it's a jungle out there!!
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
The more roughage one consumes, the less toilet paper one needs.
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
~ Carl Sagan
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
Good point - and true. Still, the only way I've been able to buy TP has been online. The TP shelves in the stores around here are empty. No surprise though. Most people around here are full of shit.
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
If roughage is the key there are people who only stood next to me in elevators who are going to live forever. I have ben processing cellulose like a paper factory since I was but a sprout.
I said A-Men!
If that was the case our dog who showed an unnatural fondness for filberts would still be with us and she's as dead as hell. I did love watching her pass the shrapnel of filbert shells. Reminded me of Ken Kesey's phrase "shaking like a dog shitting peach pits" but I would guess that the hard and jagged hazel nut shells were worse.
yrs,
rubato
I said A-Men!
If that was the case our dog who showed an unnatural fondness for filberts would still be with us and she's as dead as hell. I did love watching her pass the shrapnel of filbert shells. Reminded me of Ken Kesey's phrase "shaking like a dog shitting peach pits" but I would guess that the hard and jagged hazel nut shells were worse.
yrs,
rubato
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
Take a drive over to Dixon and the shopping should be easier.
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
Dixon is about 100 miles from here. I'd probably get arrested for non-essential driving and thrown in jail...or locked in a center for senior delinquents... 
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
I've found that going between 5.00 - 6.00 pm, when most people are preparing or eating their evening meal, means the place (Lidl or Morrisons,) is almost empty.
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
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ex-khobar Andy
- Posts: 5841
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- Location: Louisville KY as of July 2018
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
I've cut my shopping down to once a week and the last few times I've been to TJ's the line has been five minutes or less. For some reason KY requires the wine store to have a separate entrance and there is never a line to get in there. I'm never early enough to join the wrinklies fellowship but usually 9 or 10 AM.
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
Just returned from the local supermarket and picked up a package of tp.
I'm going to celebrate by taking a massive squat square into the toilet.
PLOP-PLOP, FIZZ-FIZZ-OH WHAT A RELIEF IT IS.
I'm going to celebrate by taking a massive squat square into the toilet.
PLOP-PLOP, FIZZ-FIZZ-OH WHAT A RELIEF IT IS.
Your collective inability to acknowledge this obvious truth makes you all look like fools.
yrs,
rubato
So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
I shopped at my local Walmart* just a few hours ago. I bought five pounds of Tyson chicken breasts, and a package of Great Value Ultra Strong Toilet Paper, 18 Mega Rolls. The shelves were fully stocked.
And no waiting in line -- easy in, easy out.
And no waiting in line -- easy in, easy out.
“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.”
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
I've been doing the 6:00 AM thing at Wally World the last three Tuesdays. I see a lot of the same faces, many covered by masks of some sort. The only thing they didn't have ANY stock of yesterday was cleaning solutions, except bleach which had been in short supply, and a brand no one ever heard of. I had to wait a few minutes for Sam's to open as Wally World was too efficient. Both had lots of TP, not that we needed any. We're still using the bungle I bought in February. I think the covidiots are no longer hoarding it. Time for the teenagers to TP their friend's houses.
A friend of Doc's, one of only two B-29 bombers still flying.
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MajGenl.Meade
- Posts: 21504
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- Contact:
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
Our electric oven shorted out spectacularly last night - like an arc welder. So, no roast sweet potatoeeee for us. (It was Dan Quayle's recipe too)
You'd think as seniors we might get to purchase a replacement, if just to keep our buns warm. But of course, cooking not being an essential service, we can't even go buy one - at any hour.
You'd think as seniors we might get to purchase a replacement, if just to keep our buns warm. But of course, cooking not being an essential service, we can't even go buy one - at any hour.
For Christianity, by identifying truth with faith, must teach-and, properly understood, does teach-that any interference with the truth is immoral. A Christian with faith has nothing to fear from the facts
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
I wish you were closer. I could pick up a new element and send it to you. I was in our local appliance parts supplier the other day for a dishwasher part. They are open, with lines on the floor to keep customers 6' apart. Of course if it's made by Lucas, they might not have it.
Why do Brits like warm beer? Because they have Lucas refrigerators.
Have you tried Amazon and Ebay?
Why do Brits like warm beer? Because they have Lucas refrigerators.
Have you tried Amazon and Ebay?
A friend of Doc's, one of only two B-29 bombers still flying.
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MajGenl.Meade
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Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
From one MGM to another, thanks for the thought.
Amazon (believe it or not) offerings are not all shippable to SA; elements may be in that category. They do ship books by a courier service and no longer use the unreliable (unless losing/stealing things predictably is classified as reliable) SA Postal Service. Margaretta tried to order text books yesterday only to discover that ALL shipments to SA are suspended during the CV19 shutdown. Oh well.
Ebay - yes, well if I'm in the USA, no problem. Otherwise see note on SA postal swindle above.
I made a stove-top macaroni cheese today. Awful. I cooked the mac separately before tossing in the other ingredients, overlooking that the "other ingredients" included 3 cups of water and 4 cups of milk. Now if the macaroni had been COOKED in such a large amount of liquid, it would have been absorbed/boiled off. As it was, we had macaroni soup. The cheese dissipated in the flood and was untasteable. Not a word apparently.
Also being older, Medicare keeps sending me emails about avoiding stress during the shutdown. Obviously they are unaware I'm in SA and the only stress is that I'm a case and a half of wine short of making it to May 1
Amazon (believe it or not) offerings are not all shippable to SA; elements may be in that category. They do ship books by a courier service and no longer use the unreliable (unless losing/stealing things predictably is classified as reliable) SA Postal Service. Margaretta tried to order text books yesterday only to discover that ALL shipments to SA are suspended during the CV19 shutdown. Oh well.
Ebay - yes, well if I'm in the USA, no problem. Otherwise see note on SA postal swindle above.
I made a stove-top macaroni cheese today. Awful. I cooked the mac separately before tossing in the other ingredients, overlooking that the "other ingredients" included 3 cups of water and 4 cups of milk. Now if the macaroni had been COOKED in such a large amount of liquid, it would have been absorbed/boiled off. As it was, we had macaroni soup. The cheese dissipated in the flood and was untasteable. Not a word apparently.
Also being older, Medicare keeps sending me emails about avoiding stress during the shutdown. Obviously they are unaware I'm in SA and the only stress is that I'm a case and a half of wine short of making it to May 1
For Christianity, by identifying truth with faith, must teach-and, properly understood, does teach-that any interference with the truth is immoral. A Christian with faith has nothing to fear from the facts
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Bicycle Bill
- Posts: 9821
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- Location: Living in a suburb of Berkeley on the Prairie along with my Yellow Rose of Texas
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
I'm not a doctor, but I think it's safe to say that if your poop goes 'plop-plop, fizz-fizz' when you take a dump there's something that just ain't right about you, and you should probably get checked out.
-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?
Re: So, I Thought I'd Take Advantage of My Senior Status
The fizz is probably the noise from the gas that is launching the plopping projectiles.
Perfectly normal...
Perfectly normal...
