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Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Thu May 28, 2020 5:42 pm
by Scooter
IRISH MIDGET ACCUSED OF POSING AS A LEPRECHAUN TO EXTORT SEX FROM 26 WOMEN IN EXCHANGE FOR POT OF GOLD

A 3-foot-and-4-inches-tall Irishman was arrested this morning for allegedly taking advantage of credulous women by posing as a leprechaun and extorting sexual favors in exchange for a fictional “pot of gold hidden at the end of a rainbow”.

29-year old Connor O’Byrne was arrested this morning at his Dublin residence by the Garda Síochána, the Irish national police.

According to police spokesman Seamus Murphy, Mr. O’Byrne used a rather unusual stratagem to cheat both tourists and naive locals sexual favors from them:

“The victims all said he dressed up like a leprechaun and said he had a huge pot filled with gold coins, hidden at the end of a rainbow, that he was willing to offer for sex.”

Surprisingly, that rather far-fetched scam fooled dozens of gullible women. 26 victims have already filed complaints with the Garda, but investigators believe the real number of victims could be over 200 or even 300.

“Many of these women were extremely naive and vulnerable. Some even cried when we told them that leprechauns don’t really exist.”

While searching through his house, the police found six different leprechaun costumes, as well as a few ancient gold coins he used to “prove the existence of his pot” and lure his victims.

Mr. Connor faces a total of 64 criminal charges, including 26 accusations of embezzlement, 18 charges of sexual abuse and 8 charges of fraud.

According to investigators, the number of accusations could easily double or even triple over the next few days.

If found guilty on all charges, he already faces a sentence of life in prison and a fine of €75,000.

His trial his expected to begin in March at the Dublin criminal courts of Justice.

Re: Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Thu May 28, 2020 7:06 pm
by ex-khobar Andy
I don't think wes would choose a name like C0nn0r 0'Byrne. He would stand out from the crowd every time he wrote his own name. Then again, at 3' 4'', maybe he wouldn't.

Re: Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Thu May 28, 2020 7:13 pm
by Darren
That's really clever from a marketing aspect except for the belief in leprechauns and pots of gold. Not only are fools born every second they're proof of repeated reincarnation as fools w/o the death and rebirth.

After all wouldn't a leprechaun be an expert about pots of gold? Take that a bit farther when the experts aren't midgets nor do they dress up in green.

Thanks for posting that, Scooter.

Re: Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Thu May 28, 2020 8:34 pm
by BoSoxGal
I’m trying to understand how this was a crime - would love to see the charging information and related statutes.

Re: Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Thu May 28, 2020 9:02 pm
by Scooter
I wasn't really sure either; the embezzlement doesn't seem to have been touched on at all. The sex-for-gold seems to be the women willing to engage in acts of prostitution, so I suppose they were defrauded when it turned out there was no gold. I don't see how failing to pay up changes a business arrangement into sexual abuse, if that is how those charges were laid.

But I really just posted it for the shits and giggles value, rather than for any sort of scholarly legal discussion.

Re: Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Thu May 28, 2020 9:41 pm
by BoSoxGal
My cousin and I laughed over it but then also felt sad for the depth of naïveté (putting it nicely) of the women. But I am interested in the legal aspects because honestly it sounds more like a) the women offered to prostitute themselves and THAT would be a crime (johns who don’t pay don’t get prosecuted because it’s a criminal contract), or b) how is it any different than any encounter between consenting adults where you think you’re getting a Porsche and end up with a Pinto instead?

Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Thu May 28, 2020 9:59 pm
by RayThom
Twenty-six women?

It sounds like Connor was as long as he is tall.

Magically malicious!

Re: Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Thu May 28, 2020 10:50 pm
by MGMcAnick
RayThom wrote:
Thu May 28, 2020 9:59 pm
Magically malicious!
For a guy whose avatar is the Grim Reaper, THAT'S funny. Best laugh I've had all week.

Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Fri May 29, 2020 12:09 am
by RayThom
Thanks, MGMc, I like to think I have my moments.

My writing style is much like that of a comedian. Take a nugget or piece of a current subject... set it up... deliver a punchline... wait for the reaction, or not... then on to the next set up.

There's so much brilliant writing in here (you know who you are) that I'll rarely belabor a point that has already been so eloquently stated -- pro or con, depending on your ideology, of course.

One of my favorite humorists once said, "It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.”

Thank you, Mark, for such sage advice.

Re: Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Fri May 29, 2020 12:49 am
by Joe Guy
The moral of the story is to beware of short people who promise you a small fortune for a little favor.

Re: Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Fri May 29, 2020 6:47 am
by MajGenl.Meade
I guess he was leprachauny. But did someone put him up to it?

Re: Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Fri May 29, 2020 7:44 am
by Gob
Ummm... "World Nut Daily"? Seriously :lol: :lol: :lol: Mind you I get the wesw connection, it's about his level of comprehension...

Re: Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Fri May 29, 2020 1:06 pm
by ex-khobar Andy
MajGenl.Meade wrote:
Fri May 29, 2020 6:47 am
I guess he was leprachauny. But did someone put him up to it?
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Fri May 29, 2020 4:35 pm
by RayThom
Gob wrote:
Fri May 29, 2020 7:44 am
Ummm... "World Nut Daily"? Seriously :lol: :lol: :lol: Mind you I get the wesw connection, it's about his level of comprehension...
Magically suspicious?

(How am I doing, MGMc?)

Re: Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Fri May 29, 2020 10:14 pm
by MGMcAnick
Not as good as magically malicious RayThom, so I can only give it a 5 out of 10.
Of course those whose kids were not addicted to Lucky Charms breakfast cereal my not have gotten the reference to their 'magically delicious' advertising slogan.

Re: Now we know where wes has been hanging out

Posted: Fri May 29, 2020 11:10 pm
by Econoline
I, my wife, and our daughters were in the hippy-dippy crunchy granola demographic, so thanks for 'splainin' it for me.