Plan B Forum

I won't be checking in here for a while. I need a time out. Compared to many people, I have had a very comfortable life. I will be 81 years old on on the next Bloom's Day. I have had very few major injuries or illness. I have had a wonderfully supportive spouse for almost 55 years. My children have been good members of their community, wherever they have been. And Yet.

Last August my 50 year old son killed himself. In the late fall my spouse had a heart attack. In January of this year I was in the hospital with congestive heart failure; that has been treated and is under control. My wife went in to the hospital in in February just feeling lousy and other symptoms. She was released from the hospital after a week with the good news that her heart was fine and she did not have CoVid19. What she had was stage four pancreatic cancer. This morning she died, while sitting next to me on the couch in the living room of our apartment.

I will have to take some time to get myself together. Again, my life has been wonderful and trouble free, compared to many.

I thank you all for your indulgence.

snailgate

I'm so sorry. I can only imagine the loss.

BP/SG - I don't do prayers but I do do thoughts. I cannot imagine the pain of what you have gone through in the last year.

If I can help a little with one thing - I was diagnosed with heart issues now nine years ago - I had a pentuple bypass and have had no issues since then.

I am so sorry for all this. Do come back when you are up to it.

How devastating. Tears and an aching heart, meaningless I guess. But I am so very sorry to read your news. Please come back when you can.

Oh snailgate, I am so sorry for your losses and your pain. Please take the time you need, and be kind to yourself. We will be here when you are ready to return.

RB, this is devastating news. I am so sorry for your loss.

To me it often seems that God can give you more than you can handle. Fortunately, I know you're up to the challenge. Sure, take some time off from the world around you, grieve as you must, but please stay focused. With that you will still find purpose. You'll get through this, too, if you let it.

Remember that "Pearls Before Swine" panel you sent me some months ago about "thoughts and prayers?" (I have it hanging above my computer desk as a touchstone.) Getting up can be hard at times, but it always beats doing nothing.

As always, in times of mourning, I turn to Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 for some solace and perspective. You are in my thoughts more than ever.

Peace, Ray

May you be surrounded by the love of family, friends and community.

yrs,
rubato

Our sincere condolences, for what they are worth.

Please come back to us when you are feeling it is right to do so.

Be kind to yourself.

So sorry for your losses. Best wishes.

I don't know if you're still around here enough to read this, Snailgate, but if not I hope you can pull through and eventually see this...

As I said before, elsewhere, I'm really lousy at condolences, which is why it took me a whole day to think of anything to say. "I'm so sorry" seems so very inadequate. This news hit me hard, because I really can imagine how hard this must be for you, and it terrifies me. My wife and I are both 73, and we've been married for more than 52 years, and if she were to die first I expect it would destroy me.* So yes, I can imagine that this hurts more than knowing that you're going to die yourself. I hope you can find some comfort in whatever religion you have, and whatever friends and relations you have. And know, too, that some of your friends are right here on the internet.


*(We're both relatively healthy, and statistically she's likely to outlive me, plus I think she's more resilient than I am. But—to quote Fats Waller—One never knows, do one?)

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. It's good to know that you were able to be there for her, unlike folks who are in hospitals right now.

As people of faith, you know she's in a better place. I feel sorry for those who call that a useless platitude, and don't know that someday they will re-join those who have gone on before us. 55 years is a long time, but it's incredibly short compared to eternity. I'd like to think that Mrs Mc and I might have 55 years here together, but we got a late start.

PM me if you like.

Chuck

MGMcAnick wrote: ↑

Mon Jun 01, 2020 1:02 am

...

As people of faith, you know she's in a better place. I feel sorry for those who call that a useless platitude, and don't know that someday they will re-join those who have gone on before us. 55 years is a long time, but it's incredibly short compared to eternity. I'd like to think that Mrs Mc and I might have 55 years here together, but we got a late start...

Amen to that.

I am sorry to read of the loss of your wife. I know from experience that losing love ones is the worse pain. I have lost my brother, my mother, and my best friend, two of them to cancer. My wife and I have been married for fifty years and I know that one of us has to die first; I dread that day. But, we will just have to face that it when it happens. All I can say is that the pain does get better with time.

Snailgate, I'm very sorry for your loss and you have my deepest sympathy. Take your time and come back when you're ready. Take good care of yourself. You're always welcome here among your friends.

Sorry for your losses, stay safe and be well.

Very sorry for your losses; there's really nothing that I can say that will even begin to make the pain less. All I can say is to echo the sentiments of others; take the time you need, and remember that we will be here when you get back. And take whatever comfort you can in understanding that you are in the thoughts/prayers of many here and elsewhere.

Big RR wrote: ↑

Mon Jun 01, 2020 1:19 pm

the oughts/pryers of many here

Not a bad descriptor . . .

Thanks for bein my editor, I have made the corrections.