Burning Petard wrote: ↑Sun Dec 26, 2021 12:53 am
Me, I am celebrating because I finally got my creche with a caganer.
snailgate
I'll admit to having to look that up.
The word "caganer" literally means "the shitter" in Catalan, a Romance language spoken in Catalonia. And it refers to a nativity scene figurine in the act of defecation.
Along those same lines:
From Twitter, a bit blasphemous, but funny.
Annually by Glen Weldon
MARY: How's the room?
JOSEPH: Um ... rustic.
MARY: It's clean, though?
JOSEPH: Well, it's not immaculate. (To self) But then who is.
MARY: Hm?
JOSEPH: Nothing.
Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
·
MARY: A BARN?
JOSEPH: A bungalow!
MARY: A STABLE?
JOSEPH: A cabin!
MARY: THAT... IS AN OXEN.
JOSEPH: "Ox." There's just one.
[MOO]
JOSEPH: Nope ok two sorry my bad
Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
·
MARY: You didn't call ahead?
JOSEPH: Yeah about that see I sort of figured the omniscient omnipotent being whose son you're carrying might, you know, HANDLE THE LOGISTICS
Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
·
ANGEL: Need anything? Tiny bottled water?
MARY (weakly): I'm.. ok. Just - just this splitting headache and-
ANGEL: Great (into earpiece) send in the kid with the drum.
MARY: what
Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
·
MELCHIOR: Gold!
MARY: Uh-huh.
BALTHAZAR: Frankincense!
MARY: Yep.
CASPAR: Myrrh!
MARY: Got it thanks.
TRISH: Bath beads!
MARY: OOOH AWESOME
Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
·
SHEPHERD: Nice manger.
JOSEPH: I'm gonna rip these walls out, re-wire it.
SHEPHERD: (NODDING) Gonna make it all CCXX?
JOSEPH: ...
SHEPHERD: ...
JOSEPH: CCXX, CCXXI, whatever it takes. (From the movie Mr Mom.)
Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
·
ANGEL: He's here! He’s here!
MARY: What?
GOD: hey girl
JOSEPH: Oh fer-
GOD: so uh ... is that him?
JOSEPH: Are you KIDDING me.
MARY: Sh, Joe. .... Yes.
JOSEPH: "Is that him?" Seriously? All-knowing much?
WAITER: Room service.
JOSEPH: Hi.
WAITER: Where can I put it?
JOSEPH: In the manger.
WAITER: ...
JOSEPH: (sighs) Why does nobody know what a manger — The TROUGH.
WAITER: Got it. ... So uh like ATOP the glowing infant, or...
Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
·
MARY: Joe, do you think we could maybe ... ask everyone to leave, already?
DRUMMER BOY: [pa rum pa pum pum!]
MARY: Like especially him? Painfully?
Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
·
JOSEPH: I got you boo.
GUYS GUYS GUYS.
WE APPRECIATE THE MAZEL TOVS, BUT THE LINE BETWEEN PAYING RESPECTS AND SQUATTING?
IT.
HAS.
BEEN.
CROSSED.
Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
·
MELCHIOR: But we ... we followed a star!
JOSEPH: Stars are fixed. You “followed” a comet.
Maybe a planet.
But whatever. Anyway all of this happened in mid-summer. We’re all just pretending it’s December because in the third century the pagan ritual of Yule will get co-opted.
Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
·
INNKEEPER: Did you enjoy your stay with us?
JOSEPH: ... what?
INNKEEPER: Great! One night, your bill comes to 20 denarii.
J: ... oh I don't THINK so.
INNKEEPER: No wait, you're right; I'm wrong.
J: Damn right. I mean ... it's a BARN.
INNKEEPER: With breakfast, 22 denarii.
Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
·
(One month later)
JOSEPH: Oh, fer -
MARY: What is it?
JOSEPH: It’s from that dump we stayed in in Bethlehem. “Please rate our service.”
MARY: Let it go, Joe.
JOSEPH: (cracks knuckles)
MARY: Joe.
JOSEPH: Mary. Fleas, I’d let go. Bedbugs, even.
MARY: This again.
JOSEPH: NOT ANTHRAX
Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
MARY: It’s not a big deal. You’re fine. I’m fine. Let it go.
JOSEPH. The only reason we’re fine is we could rub our magic glowing baby on each other.
MARY: I know.
JOSEPH: Otherwise we’d be dead.
MARY: Uh huh.
JOSEPH: That’s worth knocking off a Michelin star, don’t you think?
