I’m sure some of you can find something punny in this story . . .

[BoSoxGal]

Last Friday morning two public works employees sanding sidewalks in the city of Lewiston Maine were met with a man screaming and carrying his severed arm. By some unbelievable stroke of cosmic luck, at least one of them was trained in the use of tourniquets and treated him while they waited for EMS to arrive - thus no doubt saving his life. The man was rushed to hospital and to surgery; his identity has not yet been released and no information is yet available as to whether surgeons were able to reattach the arm which was severed at the shoulder.

Here’s the even crazier twist to the story: law enforcement officers followed the trail of blood from the site he encountered the public works employees back to a nearby market, where it was determined his arm was severed by a bandsaw he was operating in the workplace. OSHA is investigating.

Seriously, how the actual fuck does someone cut their arm off at the shoulder in a bandsaw accident?!?!

My brother cut most of his fingers off his left hand in a bandsaw in junior high school wood shop when he and another kid were jostling in line and he fell into the bandsaw which didn’t have a protective shield in place. He was incredibly lucky that surgeons not only reattached the fingers, but that a few years later he was able to teach himself to play Stairway to Heaven and many other classic rock hits on the guitar - really incredibly lucky that all his nerves healed following the surgery.

I can easily visualize how my brother’s accident happened - but cutting off the whole arm and at the shoulder? I’m disarmed by this scenario.

Next.

[eddieq]

Honestly I thought they were going to find another armless man and the first guy’s arm and determine that they had reattached the incorrect limb.

Brachial News - two men injured in band saw accident. None left feeling right.

[Joe Guy]

If we knew that the man had cut off his left arm, at least we would know he is all right.

[MajGenl.Meade]

I don't think it's humerus

[eddieq]

I don't think it's humerus

Perhaps not in your radius of influence.