There is nothing wrong with wanting your children to like/love you BSG. I sincerely hope that my son likes, loves and respects me. There will be times when he doesn't like me very much but I hope that through those times the love and respect will remain. The problem is when people want to be their child's friend rather than their parent.bigskygal wrote: This bullshit pansy-ass 'I want my kids to like/love me' parenting is seriously messed up, and FAR too prevalent. These parents are letting their children down, BIGTIME. They are neglectful.
I blame the parent, parent blames the bank
Re: I blame the parent, parent blames the bank
Why is it that when Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it's 'art' and 'edgy' but when I do it I'm 'drunk' and 'banned from the hardware store'?
Re: I blame the parent, parent blames the bank
That's exactly what I'm getting at, Sean.
The love of children for their parents is pretty much innate. I handle dependency/neglect cases where in some cases kids have been seriously abused - and still love the abusive parent.
Parents who are obsessed with keeping their kids perpetually happy to the detriment of character building, because they can't stand the sting of a child's resentment or anger on occasion - that's what I'm talking about. You describe it as wanting to be their friend; I describe it as wanting the kid to love you - that actually comes from my recent experience with my ex, who is a hugely permissive parent raising two very confused and spoiled and chronically misbehaved kids, because by his own admission he can't stand them to be mad at him, at which moments they'll often say 'I hate you, Daddy!' or 'I don't love you anymore' 'I'd rather live with Mommy than you' - typical little kid things to say.
eta: While I was with my ex, his kids had more respect for me than for him. They really loved me - and I them - and it was quite obvious that they actually craved the attention of firm, loving discipline. When I gave a warning, they modified their behavior - because they knew I would follow through. Their dad just barked but never bit, because he couldn't stand to actually discipline - and the kids don't respect him. I fully expect to see one or both of them in juvenile court someday.
The love of children for their parents is pretty much innate. I handle dependency/neglect cases where in some cases kids have been seriously abused - and still love the abusive parent.
Parents who are obsessed with keeping their kids perpetually happy to the detriment of character building, because they can't stand the sting of a child's resentment or anger on occasion - that's what I'm talking about. You describe it as wanting to be their friend; I describe it as wanting the kid to love you - that actually comes from my recent experience with my ex, who is a hugely permissive parent raising two very confused and spoiled and chronically misbehaved kids, because by his own admission he can't stand them to be mad at him, at which moments they'll often say 'I hate you, Daddy!' or 'I don't love you anymore' 'I'd rather live with Mommy than you' - typical little kid things to say.
eta: While I was with my ex, his kids had more respect for me than for him. They really loved me - and I them - and it was quite obvious that they actually craved the attention of firm, loving discipline. When I gave a warning, they modified their behavior - because they knew I would follow through. Their dad just barked but never bit, because he couldn't stand to actually discipline - and the kids don't respect him. I fully expect to see one or both of them in juvenile court someday.
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
~ Carl Sagan
Re: I blame the parent, parent blames the bank
bigskygal wrote:Ahh, interesting approach to resolving crime - require the victim to put a stop to it before reporting it to police.She said that, when the banks did not listen to her, she approached the police.
... "
Actually I think that was a very reasonable decision. It gave the banks the ability to immediately stop the fraud and thus stop their losses. Until the victim knows that they are victims they won't report it. I suspect that a victim going to police with records of this size thefts will get faster action especially as banks are owned and fun by rich, educated, and powerful members of the community. The head of a bank can get the police chief on the phone while this woman would be 'filing a report' which was dropped on a pile.
yrs,
rubato
Re: I blame the parent, parent blames the bank
A lot of that 'over-permissive' parenting is due to divorce. The parents start competing for their child's affections; and unfortunately the disciplinarian parent is seen as the 'bad guy' in the short term, while the lenient parent is favored by the immature kid.
Ergo the, 'I'd rather live with Mommy than you' comments.
Playing the parents, happens in solid marriages too, but in broken homes it works, to the child's eventual detriment.
Ergo the, 'I'd rather live with Mommy than you' comments.
Playing the parents, happens in solid marriages too, but in broken homes it works, to the child's eventual detriment.
