Worse Movies 2010?

[Gob]

10. The Men Who Stare At Goats

CATEGORY: WASTED MATERIAL

There are always going to be films that take a good reputation, a good star or a good story and butcher it. Shrek Forever After turned a beloved franchise into the sort of film that had children asking to go home 20 minutes before it ended, Sagan made the life of a fascinating French woman into a banal boring biopic. It was The Men Who Stare At Goats though that managed to turn one of the best casts and one of the better concepts for a film this year into a lacklustre hodge-podge of overly staged set pieces and ill-conceived plot and character choices. How they made an army unit specialising in mind powers boring is still a mystery.

M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender deserves special mention here. Yes, it was as bad as people said. Yes, it wasted a glorious wealth of material in the series it adapted. But was anyone, other than M. Night that is, really, honestly surprised?

9. The Expendables

CATEGORY: ACTION

In any given year there will be plenty of bad action films. For many, in fact, the mere phrase "bad action" is an inherent tautology. So an action film really has to make a special effort to stand out as bad. Films such as From Paris with Love and Killers drift under the radar by merely not being outstandingly bad. Clash of the Titans offered the worst post-production-installed 3D hatchet job of the year, but otherwise was merely forgettable. The Book of Eli added heavy handed religion to the mix to try to emulate Knowing's 2009 triumph on this list.

In terms of unfulfilled expectations though, The Expendables was a clear category winner this year. Not only did it assemble the dream '80s action cast, it was written and directed by Sylvester Stallone, who frankly knows his stuff. Combined with three decades of advances in special effects this should have been explosively big, funny and well … explosive. Instead it was self-serious, half-hearted and forgettable. If you want good senior citizen action, check out RED. The Expendables is not worth expending your time on.

8. Chloe

CATEGORY: REMAKES

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief rates a mention in this category for pulling off a truly terrible, shameless and entirely uncredited remake of Harry Potter.

It was Chloe though, the remake of the French film Nathalie, that truly achieved great things in badness. Capable of being obvious and yet confusing, incessantly naked yet entirely unsexy, inane and bland, Chloe walked a tightrope of terrible that almost seemed intentional. Almost.

7. Cop Out

CATEGORY: SO-CALLED COMEDY

No genre is more hit and miss than comedy. Furthermore, as the natural home of the poorly scripted, big budget star vehicle, comedies have well-established low expectations. In 2010, films such as The Bounty Hunter, The Switch and Grown Ups all lacked "the funny", but never really promised much either. The Back-Up Plan made a bigger effort, merely by being so much worse than anticipated.

It was the combination of Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan and Director Kevin Smith that simultaneously raised the bar of expectations on Cop Out and lowered the ratio of jokes per minute to a point at which it was more like a joke per hour. Cop Out's status was only reinforced when Kevin Smith chose to abuse critics who identified the film's non-comedic qualities as "non-fans". An accusation of "former-fans" might have been closer to the mark after this turkey.

6. Little Ashes

CATEGORY: BUTCHERING HISTORY

For some reason historical subjects bring out the worst in many filmmakers. Be it an academic-like obsession with minute details, a desire to project an entire feature film through a rose-coloured lens, or merely the inability to add dramatic tension to a story whose conclusion is known, true stories often yearn to disappoint audiences. Coco Chanel and Igor Stravinsky could honestly have been an Australian film – obsessed with set and costume design (which was duly excellent) at the expense of plot, pace and performances. A near unwatchable film only made worse by the creative joy that was last year's Coco Avant Chanel. Clint Eastwood's Invictus was damned by its own sledgehammer-subtle soundtrack. When Robert Pattinson was cast to play Salvador Dali though, it elevated a film that should never have got further than the cast and crews show reel to a cinema release. The acting, the moustache, the genital-tuck. Almost great for being so bad, Little Ashes was more than a little funny, but very unintentionally.

5. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

CATEGORY: LONG LOST FRANCHISE

Oliver Stone's misguided effort at creating Wall Street: Legacy (who thought it would be Tron that showed him how it should be done?!) had so much potential, so much love and so much casting goodness it should have been challenging for year's best. What we got instead was a patronising summary of the financial crisis (including the incessant bubble metaphor), a tepid motorcycle chase and a Charlie Sheen cameo that felt like an out-take from Two And A Half Men. All of which ensured a rushed finish that soured the reputation of one of cinema's all-time great anti-heroes.

4. South Solitary

CATEGORY: AUSTRALIAN

I said at the time that South Solitary represented everything that is wrong with the Australian film industry and I stand by that claim. It has the superb cinematography and design skills and it wastes them entirely as it mistakes misery for art, pauses for poignancy, and dramatic weather for drama. If you can feel superior about making a film that actually states "life on this island is boring" and then goes on a mission to prove it, then I'm glad to say your era is coming to an end.

How so? Well, because there really weren't any other stand-out awful Australian films this year. Sure, Wogboy 2: The Kings of Mykonos wasn't everyone's (or probably anyone's) idea of high art, but it delivered exactly what it promised. The rest of 2010's haul dared to try, and usually succeeded in having high standards on the content side of the equation as well as the technical side. South Solitary was isolated in its indulgence.

3. Remember Me

CATEGORY: UNREQUESTED ROMANCE

Rarely can a spoiler be considered a public service. However, the "twist", "revelation" or "offensively gratuitous use of a real life disaster as a dramatic device" in this shambolic romantic abomination should be aired in the way of a septic wound. When Robert Pattinson's Tyler Hawkins takes a challenge to win a girl's heart to get revenge on her dad, it all goes to plan … until a plane flies into the building he is standing in … on September 11, 2001. If the rest of the film had been adequate this would have been merely lazy writing. Given the turgid mess it capped off, this was a genuinely offensive use of real life tragedy.

2. I'm Still Here

CATEGORY: SELF IMPORTANT DRIVEL

Some people loved this film. One or two of them weren't directly involved in the film's production. Apparently it was groundbreaking, artistic and inspiring because it was an actor engaging with the real world, while playing a part, letting it all be filmed and damn the consequences. Congratulations, you just discovered performance art. And this wasn't even good performance art – if there is indeed such a thing. No, this was Joaquin Phoenix disguising a poor-little-rich-boy whinge as an undergraduate film school project - complete with staged shoots when he and brother-in-law Case Affleck couldn't or wouldn't film the real thing. Yes, this film was fake. Yes, that was obvious. But far worse than that, it was pretentious enough to tell anyone who spent money seeing it that they were stupid to do so. That's not quite true. They were just conned by filmmakers who believed their own message so clearly that they then shaved, returned to their meaningless lives and kept all your money. The only reason this doesn't get the bottom spot is that you somehow sense they'd like that.

1. Skyline

CATEGORY: PLOTLESS SCI FI

How do you make aliens invading Earth boring? Skyline. What happens when visual effects boffins write a script about special effects boffins fighting aliens? Skyline. What film, when seen for free, can still leave you feeling ripped off? Skyline. The danger with the Strause brothers' abomination is that the criticism will inspire morbid curiosity. Trust those who have paid the price. Skyline is a world away from being so bad that it's good. Skyline is so bad that you just want to forget it, forget you've seen it and pray that everyone involved will forget their current line of employment and take up charity work in an effort to repay their galactic karmic debt.

http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/blo ... 18wfq.html

Your nominations?

[Crackpot]

THe men that stare at goats grows on you with subsequent viewings. I think expectations form the actors outstripped the reality that they are all masters of subtlety.

[Joe Guy]

I remember falling asleep during 'Men Who Stare at Goats' in 2009.

How did it end up being one of the worst movies of 2010?

[Sean]

Maybe nobody got all the way to the end to write a review until 2010...

[Gob]

Release Date:
4 February 2010 (Australia)

[Joe Guy]

Release Date:
4 February 2010 (Australia)

How is it that today here is tomorrow there but 2010 there is 2009 here?

I guess that's just how the world turns.

[rubato]

Some people have a lot of free time to waste.

yrs,
rubato

[Guinevere]

I haven't seen any of those, but I would *not*recommend The Tourist ---- awful movie although Venice looks darn good (and was the best thing about the movie)!

[oldr_n_wsr]

I saw none of those movies and only heard of one of the (Expendables). I don't do movies, they cost too much and are usually not worth it. I can't remember teh last movie I went to the theater to see and have no idea how long ago it was. 2008?