I got cut up by a taxi driver last week. I was walking through town today and I recognised him at the back of the queue at the taxi rank.
I got in the first taxi in the queue and said "How much to the station ?"
"£5" said the driver.
"And how much for a blow job ?" I asked him.
"That's disgusting" he said "Get out of my cab"
I got in the second taxi and said "How much to the station ?".
"£5" said the driver.
"And how much for a blow job ?" I asked him.
"I'm not having any of that" he said "Get out of my cab"
I worked my way down the line, getting thrown out of each taxi in turn, until I came to my target at the back of the queue.
"How much to the station ?".
"£5" said the driver.
"Ok" I said "Let's go"
As we pulled out and overtook the other taxis I wound the window down and gave all the other drivers a thumbs up with a big grin on my face.
Taxi!
Re: Taxi!
Ok, and some more near the knuckle ones...
I was sorting through my old porn collection the other day and I thought christ, most of these girls will be teenagers now...
I was walking through town when a young woman carrying a clipboard asked me which grooming products I used.
'Just the usual stuff' I replied 'puppies and sweets'
Stevie Wonder plays a 3 hour gig in Tokyo and at the finish asks for any requests. Japanese gent in front row calls out "Play a jazz chord!"
So our Stevie gives him 15 mins of the finest Harlem jazz.
He finishes and asks any more requests, same guy shouts out "Play a jazz chord!" Stevie shrugs and plays some more,finishes with a flourish and asks are there any more requests. Same guy, "Play a jazz chord!"
Losing patience Stevie leaps up and shouts "come on up here if you think you can do better!"
Japanese gent walks to stage and settling down at the piano,he stretches his fingers,leans into the mic and
"A jazz chord to say I lov........................
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
That reminds me of my favorite chat up line - "get in the van, I've got a knife"
Phone rings, woman answers.
The pervert, with heavy breathing, says,
"Have you got a tight unshaven cunt?"
Woman replies, "Yes, he's watching telly. Who's calling?"
I was sorting through my old porn collection the other day and I thought christ, most of these girls will be teenagers now...
I was walking through town when a young woman carrying a clipboard asked me which grooming products I used.
'Just the usual stuff' I replied 'puppies and sweets'
Stevie Wonder plays a 3 hour gig in Tokyo and at the finish asks for any requests. Japanese gent in front row calls out "Play a jazz chord!"
So our Stevie gives him 15 mins of the finest Harlem jazz.
He finishes and asks any more requests, same guy shouts out "Play a jazz chord!" Stevie shrugs and plays some more,finishes with a flourish and asks are there any more requests. Same guy, "Play a jazz chord!"
Losing patience Stevie leaps up and shouts "come on up here if you think you can do better!"
Japanese gent walks to stage and settling down at the piano,he stretches his fingers,leans into the mic and
"A jazz chord to say I lov........................
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
That reminds me of my favorite chat up line - "get in the van, I've got a knife"
Phone rings, woman answers.
The pervert, with heavy breathing, says,
"Have you got a tight unshaven cunt?"
Woman replies, "Yes, he's watching telly. Who's calling?"
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”